I'm a resident of [YOUR ADDRESS] and I've been greatly enjoying your signs. Please don't stop.
Someone has been tearing them down like three times a day lately.
Unfortunately I'm going out of town for a while, so there's going to be a pause. I think this is a good excuse for you to get a label maker. We are all Spartacus.
I don't think anyone stepped up in my absence, and that's sad.
BUT YOU GUYS, the day I got back, I SAW THE GUY WHO'S TEARING THEM DOWN!
It's this old dude with a little rat-dog and I've never, ever seen him smile. I assume the dog is incontinent because he walks it like five times a day, which explains why he's noticing them so quickly.
Maybe I should superglue them now. Or I could just tear down the fucking signs once and for all, but that's probably going to leave glue-gunk on the glass, and that would be lame.
Update: This story concludes in Exercise Vague Joy.