These signs irk me. They irk me good.
First, what a waste of effort. Does anyone think that these signs will actually change anyones' behavior? Is there anyone in the world who might have reason to be concerned about whether they are being recorded who would not understand what the big black dome indicated?
Second, these signs are both on the outside and inside of the door. That's right, they're not facing only at the street, but also inward to the lobby, to which only people with a key have access. Someone might generously assume that the shitheel who put up this sign did so in some misguided hope that it might prevent the homeless from sleeping in our alcove -- as if that would work -- it's not like they're trying to hide the fact that they're sleeping there. "We have video of you sleeping." "Ok..." But no, they're pointing the sign at me too. They think that I need to be reminded that I'm being recorded.
Third, the purpose of signs like this is merely to instill unease. They are fnords. You are to see them and have a little twinge. As if Jesus Christ Himself leaned down from his home on Mount Olympus and flicked your ear while saying BE GOOD. Some shitheel spent my HOA money to insult me.
Fourth, I've lived in this building for a long-assed time, and I'm like 99% sure that those cameras are not actually hooked up to anything, so it's a lie from start to finish.
Fifth, ubiquitous surveillance sucks, and asymmetric surveillance sucks even more. If these cameras are actually being monitored, by whom? Because as a condo owner in this building, I'm a not-insigificant-percentage owner of these cameras, so why can't I watch the feed too? If you're looking at me, I should be able to look right back. (I've asked these questions of the HOA, years ago. I never got any answers.)
Sixth, if there was some triggering incident for these signs going up, I think it's safe to say that, without knowing any details, we can summarize it as, "Something must be done, this is something, therefore it must be done."
Anyway, yeah, I hate these signs a lot. But instead of just tearing them down, as was my first instinct, I made some alterations instead. For the outward-facing sign, I added
DRESS CODE STRICTLY ENFORCED
and for the inward-facing sign, I added
EXERCISE VAGUE CAUTION
After a couple of days, someone peeled them off. Hey, that's cool, my label printer has a lot of tape left in it, and I had already printed a few others in anticipation of this:
DON'T SUSPECT YOUR NEIGHBOR: REPORT HIM!
FEAR THE UNKNOWN - MONSTERS ARE REAL
DRONE STRIKES AUTHORIZED 7PM - 5AM
AWARD-WINNING SECURITY THEATRE
YOU'RE PROBABLY GUILTY OF SOMETHING
(Feel free to add your suggestions below.)
Anyway, someone has been peeling these off every day or two, and I keep putting them back. I'm really curious who is doing it, though, and why. I suppose it's possible that it's some other condo owner who is both not offended by the original sign, and doesn't think I'm funny, but, I don't even know how to process that. Can there be such a person?
I think that a much more likely explanation is that it's one of the despicable real estate agents who darken our doorway on an almost-daily basis. I'll bet one of these shitbags looks at that surveillance sign and thinks that this is going to be a selling point to whatever new-Twitter-hire South Bay dudebro he's trying to foist off an overpriced condo on, and dammit he has a hard enough time already convincing this manchild that this hideous, filthy neighborhood isn't dangerous, and he doesn't need my sarcasm costing him the sale.
At least, I hope so. I hope a little vein pops out on his forehead every time he's scraping one of these labels off with fingernails bitten to the quick.
Update: This story continues in "Exercise Vague Spartacus" and concludes in "Exercise Vague Joy".
You might be able to find out who is removing your labels if you just set up a.... well you know.
Do you attend the HOA meetings, Jamie? By now they must have asked you to serve on the governing board, no?
WHEN YOU RIDE ALONE, YOU RIDE WITH HITLER
BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING
BE SEEING YOU, NUMBER SIX
EDGES OF SIGN ARE SHARP
FOOTAGE AVAILABLE UPON RECEIPT OF FORM 27B-6
NO TAKEBACKS
FILMED IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE
QUESTIONS ARE A BURDEN TO OTHERS
WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN AT WAR WITH EURASIA
DO NOT FOLD, BEND, OR MUTILATE
HOW'S MY SURVEILLANCE? CALL 1-800-....
THIS BUILDING PROTECTED BY BATMAN
SPEAK FRIEND AND ENTER
BLESS THIS MESS
NO HONOR AMONGST THIEVES
DAVE'S NOT HERE MAN
SLIDE TO UNLOCK
TODAY'S SECRET WORD IS: HELIOTROPE
THIS SIGN BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE
LETTERS N, S, AND A
MY LOG DOES NOT JUDGE
(C) 2015 NOVELTY WARNING SIGNS. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Not sure why this ended up here in the reply chain... Hurm.
These are fantastic.
This building
is monitored by
closed-circuit cameras
THIS DOOR IS ALARMED
(Thankyou, thankyou, I'll be here all week.)
LIFE IS DEMANDING WITHOUT UNDERSTANDING.
I SAW THE SIGN AND IT OPENED UP MY EYES I SAW THE SIGN.
I think the signs are posted the way they are due to the legal requirements of the state of California for surveillance cameras.
Fascinating unsupported theory is fascinating.
That's too long to fit in the space available. Also: boring.
If you're going to do that then you should totally go for:
THIS SIGN IS KNOWN TO THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA TO CAUSE CANCER
Time to hook up some 5w infrared LED's and aim em at those guys. If they're actually recording.
http://hackedgadgets.com/2008/02/21/ir-leds-used-to-defeat-security-cameras/
"Who Watches the Watchman?" would be a good sticker.
In the original Latin.
Ah, a like mind, zompist
SIGN MODIFICATIONS WILL BE REPORTED
YOU CANNOT SHORT-CIRCUIT SECURITY
and maybe for a "They Live" nod:
CONSUME
Sounds like a good reason to require access to video material.
Y u no sign your labels "The Mgt"???
HIGHER INCOMES EXEMPTED
THE GHOST IN THE MACHINE IS A POLICITAL PRISONER
RIOT IN THE LOOP ON NEW YEAR'S EVE
TWO MEN ENTER — ONE MAN LEAVES
GOOD BEHAVIOR WILL BE REWARDED
SING FOR YOUR SUPPER
That's the spirit!
A step further: two men enter on the outside
blog page says 11 comments on this article, this article page says 3 comments on this article? even after refreshing? odd.
This building
is monitored by
closed-circuit cameras
AND UPLOADED TO YOUTUBE.
SUBSCRIBE TO OUR YOUTUBE CHANNEL
LIKE US ON FACEBOOK
FOLLOW US ON TWITTER
Awesome.
I've been sitting here half awake trying to come up with some variation of the following that doesn't come off too much like a hate crime or sexual harassment or worse, lame:
A FREE SERVICE OF http://WWW.HOTCONDOCHICKS.COM
SEE YOURSELF ON http://WWW.GAYCONDOPORN.COM
http://WWW.VOYEURWEB.COM/LOBBYCAM
Last link is a real NSFW domain, not that it stops someone I have to work with.
This building
is monitored by
closed-circuit cameras
MAY THE CIRCUIT BE UNBROKEN
BY AND BY LORD, BY AND BY
THERE'S A BETTER HOME AWAITING
EYE IN THE SKY LORD, EYE IN THE SKY...
> Does anyone think that these signs will actually change anyones' behavior?
Probably? I mean there was that study where just having pictures of eyes with no further implication of surveillance changed peoples' behavior. Like you say, the purpose is to instill unease, and it seems like they work. Something something bentham something foucault something i am very smart.
Hey, that's it! Pictures of eyes. Big posters.
Not pictures, googly eyes.
Like these?
More like these.
DO WHAT JESUS WOULD DO.
DON'T YOU FEEL SAFER NOW?
http://WWW.HOMELANDSECURITY.GOV
THREAT ADVISORY LEVEL: FUCHSIA
TIP YOUR WAITSTAFF.
WE READ YOUR FACEBOOK TOO.
And of course, the obvious:
FNORD
BUT WHO IS WATCHING THE CAMERAS?
IT HAS NOT MOVED YET
THEY HUNGER FOR YOUR IMAGE
YOU ARE PART OF AN EXPERIMENT
WE WANTED TO GET OPEN-CIRCUIT, BUT, YOU KNOW
PAIRED CAMERAS ARE RUNNING SCORPION-STARE
DON'T LOOK UP! THEY ARE WATCHING
IF YOU CAN READ THIS IT'S TOO LATE
HELP I'M TRAPPED IN A SIGNMAKING FACTORY
CLICK HERE TO LIKE THIS SIGN
DO NOT LICK CAMERAS
PH'NGLUI MGLW'NAFH CTHULHU R'LYEH WGAH'NAGL FHTAGN
And stuck underneath one of the longer stickers, as a special surprise for whoever's peeling them off:
KEEP TRYING!
ACTIVATE DAZZLE CAMOUFLAGE NOW
TRY GOOGLE SODA, NOW IN STORES
CLOSED-CIRCUIT CHIMERAS ON BACK ORDER
THIS SIGN IS ALSO MONITORED
MELLOW GREETINGS, CITIZENS!
PICK UP THAT CAN
I CONDONE CAN-DO CONDOS
COURTESY OF SCARFOLK COUNCIL
SPONSORED BY CASTING-COUCH.COM
THIS SIGN DEPLOYS CLOSTRIDIUM SPORES IF TAMPERED
THIS STICKER IS AFFIXED WITH A LEVEL 7 BIOTOXIN
MY CAMERA IS MONITORING YOUR HONOR STUDENT
YOU LOOK SILLY PEELING OFF THESE STICKERS
ONLY VANDALS PEEL OFF AUTHORIZED STICKERS
DRINK CRYSTAL PEPSI
MAX HEADROOM 2.3M
WARRANT CANARIES WHISTLE "CHERRY PIE"
DEREFERENCE YOUR NULL POINTERS
A BOOT SECTOR VIRUS STOMPING ON A HUMAN FACE FOREVER
You have a way with printer tape.
QUIS CUSTODIET IPSOS CUSTODIES
ARE YOU GOING OUTSIDE LIKE THAT?
LAUGH TRACK IS PRERECORDED
AN ANTI-VAMPIRE MEASURE
VIEW TOP SCORES ON OUR SITE
IF IT WERE TRUE YOU WOULD ALREADY KNOW WHO I AM.
NO, REALLY, WE SWEAR!
TRAPDOOR CAN ACTIVATE WITHOUT WARNING
FACE RECOGNITION FEATURES NOW FULLY FUNCTIONAL
EXCEPT ON WEEKENDS AND STATUTORY HOLIDAYS
I remember when we stickered a "Bicycles places here will be removed" with "This sign is not legal" (it wasn't, you're allowed to park on a public footpath as long as you're not creating a dangerous situation).
Under that sticker, we had another sticker saying "Stickers on this sign will be removed". And under that one "Told you so."
I still crack up when I think back to the face of the person removing the layers of stickers, and that he just gave up when he encountered that last one.
TWO DRINK MINIMUM
YIFFING WILL BE PROSECUTED
CLOSED-CIRCUIT CAMERAS, CARL!
AND DOUG, WHO NEVER WASHES HIS HANDS
HAVE A LAUGH AT THE HORROR OF THINGS TO COME.
SUSPICION BREEDS CONFIDENCE.
BE SAFE BE SUSPICIOUS.
RELAX IN A PANIC FREE ATMOSPHERE.
THIS CAMERA IS MONITORED BY OTHER CAMERAS; IT IS CAMERAS ALL THE WAY DOWN
POST NO BILLS
MIX TAPES AVAILABLE ON REQUEST
WATCH THIS SPACE FOR OTHER IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENTS
WARRANT CANARY: THIS FOOTAGE HAS NOT BEEN SEIZED BY THE NSA
Ewen
YOU ARE NOW LEAVING THE AMERICAN SECTOR? or YOU ARE NOW ENTERING THE AMERICAN SECTOR?
Would not be complete without some references to the old "Paranoia" RPG: THE COMPUTER IS YOUR FRIEND, HAPPINESS IS MANDATORY, etc.
SHARE AND ENJOY
GO STICK YOUR HEAD IN A PIG
YOUR PLASTIC PAL WHO'S FUN TO BE WITH
DON'T PANIC
I NEVER COULD GET THE HANG OF THURSDAYS
BEWARE OF THE LEOPARD
WE HAVE NORMALITY. ANYTHING YOU STILL CAN'T COPE WITH IS THEREFORE YOUR OWN PROBLEM.
HAVE YOU THOUGHT OF JOINING THE B ARK?
NO FLASHMOBS (flashmobs are still a thing, right?)
IT IS NOW SAFE TO SHUT DOWN YOUR COMPUTER
YOUR MONITOR TODAY IS SGT. McNEIL
OVER 300 MILLION SERVED
ENTRY BY SECRET GESTURE ONLY
HOW MANY LIGHTS DO YOU SEE
STOP BORING ME
LOBBY RELEASES LEVEL 12 EBOLA VIRUS AFTER 5 MINUTES OCCUPANCY
YOU LOOKED NICER YESTERDAY
I LIKE THOSE JEANS. MMM.
SCORPION STARE TECHNOLOGY IN USE
[BLACK CIRCLE geas prohibited this comment from being posted - you did not read this text]
If you sand down the edges of the sticker, they're more difficult to peel off. You know, in case you're not having enough fun trolling the sticker removal personnel.
But now I want them to be regularly removed, because this post has generated such amazing replacement options. If ever there were a use case for Tumblr, this is it.
ARE YOU NOW OR HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ?
WE ONLY WANT TO HELP YOU
YOU HAVE NOWHERE TO GO
PUMPKIN SPICE IS PEOPLE
THE CAKE IS A LIE
When in doubt, Leisuretown it out:
...LET'S DO PORN!
ARE YOU BEATING OFF TONIGHT OR NEXT THURSDAY
EXCUSE ME SIR ARE MY BALLS HANGING OUT OF MY SHORTS
EVERYONE PULL OUT YOUR DONGS AND LET THE SUNSHINE IN
Many people believe that it's illegal to record surveillance video without a warning to the people getting recorded.
The sign isn't to scare you, it's to prevent a nuisance lawsuit, or to prevent a judge from tossing out a case against someone caught committing a crime.
This is unlikely to make you happier about the sign.
After attaching the next update, score across the tape with a scalpel or razorblade so that it has to be peeled off in irritating fragments like a self-destructing price price sticker. If you feel really keen, give it a coat of spray lacquer.
THE PRICE OF ETERNAL VIGILANCE IS LIBERTY
WASH YOUR HANDS
MAINTAIN A NEUTRAL FACIAL EXPRESSION
REMAIN STILL UNTIL SCAN IS COMPLETE
DO NOT DEVIATE FROM MARKED ROUTE
WELCOME TO THE ARENA
REGISTER NOW TO RECEIVE YOUR IMPLANT
PLEASE DO NOT BE ALARMED. WE ARE ABOUT TO ENGAGE 'THE NOZZLE'.
FOOTAGE ERASED WHEN NOT SELLABLE
STERILIZATION WITH GAMMA RAYS OPERATED HOURLY
on a side note, why isn't enough extra value - for a twitter hire - to live in the same condo of jwz?
TO OPT-OUT PLEASE UPDATE YOUR MARKETING PREFERENCES
THIS SIGN USES COOKIES.
ABANDON ALL HOPE, YE WHO ENTER HERE
THIS IS NOT AN EXIT
SYNTAX ERROR
WE HAVE CAMERA'S WATCHING THE CAMERA
DO NOT POKE THE BEAR
YOU WILL LIKE US ON FACEBOOK
+1 FOR MOONING THE CAMERA
THE PASSWORD IS 1234
DO NOT FEED THE HUMANS
ONLY MOIST FARTING
PLEASE CLOSE LOOP ON ENTERING
SIGNED LORD CHICKENSOUP
ASS TRAFFIC REAR EXIT
So if they're monitoring, how come they haven't come to have a word with you about your sign defacement?
Just sayin'
ARBEIT MACHT FREI
SPEAK DIRECTLY INTO KEYHOLE
THIS EXPERIMENT REQUIRES THAT YOU CONTINUE
YOU HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE; PLEASE CONTINUE
IT IS ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL THAT YOU CONTINUE
As for the reason they put the original signs up, I don't know where you live but in my Country, if you intall CCTV, it's a legal obligation to inform people that they're being film. You can't record people without their knowledge.
"THIS PRODUCT CONTAINS CHEMICALS KNOWN TO THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA TO CAUSE VAGUE UNEASE AND DISTRUST."
"THIS SIGN CONTAINS WORDS KNOWN TO THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA TO CAUSE VAGUE UNEASE AND MILD WORRY"
THIS IS NOT THE BAGGAGE TICKET DESCRIBED IN THE WARSAW CONVENTION
FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY
TRAITORS CAN'T HIDE
MAY THE ODDS BE EVER IN YOUR FAVOR
THIS SENTENCE IS FALSE
CONSCIENCE IS AN INNER VOICE
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE
MEMBER FDIC
IF RASH DEVELOPS, DISCONTINUE USE
CLOSE COVER BEFORE STRIKING
VIDEO WILL BE USED FOR PURPOSES OF MASTURBATION ONLY
PLEASE TIP YOUR BARTENDER
LOOKING AT THE CAMERAS IS A CRIMINAL OFFENSE
YOU ARE IN A MAZE OF TWISTY PASSAGES, ALL ALIKE
YOUR LOTTERY NUMBERS ARE 23 17 35 25 07 09
HAIL ERIS!
THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE YOU AWAY HA HA!
BY ORDER OF THE COUNCIL OF NINE
CONTINUING TO BE SURVEILLED CONSTITUTES AGREEMENT WITH THE EULA
WE'RE FILMING A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT IDIOTS
THIS INSTALLATION, ENTITLED "WARNING SIGN" PAID FOR BY THE NATIONAL ENDOWMENT FOR THE ARTS
FOR POWER AND GLORY
IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE PROPHECY
THE BUBBLE ON THE CEILING IS FILLED WITH CANDY
DANCE FOR OUR AMUSEMENT, RUBES
WAR IS PEACE. FREEDOM IS SLAVERY. IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH.
OUR LOBBY IS CLOTHING OPTIONAL
COMMIT A CRIME. WE DARE YOU. WE DOUBLE DARE YOU, MOTHERFUCKER.
LIKE IN THAT SONG BY THE POLICE, I'LL BE WATCHING YOU.
...UNLIKE IN THAT SONG, I'LL BE PANTSLESS, SWEATY, HUNCHED, AND FURIOUSLY PANTING
NO CAMELIDS OR SIMILAR UNGULATES PERMITTED BEYOND THIS POINT
WANNA CYBER?
YOU HAVE PASSED THE FIRST TEST. RETURN AT DAWN FOR FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS.
ORGIES IN THIS SPACE PERMITTED BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 7 AND MIDNIGHT
HERE'S LOOKIN' AT YOU, KID
WE WERE HOPING WE'D SEE JUICIER CRIMES
"SIGNS" WAS A TERRIBLE MOVIE
NICOLAS CAGE IS A MEDIOCRE ACTOR AT BEST
I DO NOT APPRECIATE THE OEUVRE OF NICOLAS CAGE
I CONTINUE TO FAIL TO APPRECIATE THE OEUVRE OF NICOLAS CAGE
SINCERELY, NICOLAS CAGE
...BUT WHO WAS PHONE?
YOU GET ONE "FREE" CRIME EVERY SIX DAYS
AND ONCE WE FIGURE OUT HOW TO RECORD, YOU'RE GOING TO BE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE
PLEASE DON'T SPOIL THE SECURITY THEATER BY ADDING YOUR OWN SOUNDTRACK
BEHIND YOU THERE IS A MAN. HE IS PLOTTING AGAINST YOU. KILL HIM. KILL HIM NOW.
FACELESS BEAUROCRACY IS THE BEST KIND OF BEAUROCRACY
SIDE EFFECTS MAY INCLUDE HEADACHE, NAUSEA, DEATH
DO NOT TAUNT HAPPY FUN BALL
THIS MACHINE GIVES NO CHANGE
NO SMILING
ALL NOT FORBIDDEN IS COMPULSORY
IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD
AMONGST OUR WEAPONS ARE FEAR, UNCERTAINTY, AND DOUBT
FOR BEST RESULTS SHAKE VIGOROUSLY
MOTHER KNOWS BEST
CAN YOU SPOT FIVE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN SIGNS?
BY ORDER OF LARS OF PLANET ZOD
SO MUCH TO DO, SO LITTLE TIME
AIM AWAY FROM FACE
PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH SIGN. IMPORTANT DUST-SETTLING MEASUREMENTS IN PROGRESS.
VIDEO KILLED THE RADIO STAR
I WANT TO BELIEVE
NO WURBLING. SKLORKING PERMITTED BETWEEN 3 AND 7 PM WITH PERMIT.
THIS IS YOUR GOD
THE WEED OF CRIME BEARS BITTER FRUIT
MR. SMITH'S SUITS PROVIDED BY BARNEY'S OF NEW YORK
CONTENTS UNDER PRESSURE
SAN LOSS OF 1d10/3 UPON READING
PLEASE EXCUSE OUR GLOBAL HEGEMONY
ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY
MARK MILLAR LICKS GOATS
These great sign suggestions make for a delightful twitter feed. Only a little bit of hacking required for our host to click his favorite for the day and send it to the label printer.
The sign becomes a minor tourist attraction. Merchandising opportunities follow.
> The sign becomes a minor tourist attraction.
Irate locals install more cameras...
YOU'RE STILL PACKED, RIGHT?
IT MAY STILL BE DANGEROUS
THIS CONTRACT IS SEALED
SO SAY WE ALL
above it: FDA WARNING
PLEASE DO NOT REMOVE THIS STICKER
IN COMPLIANCE WITH SF CORRECTIONAL FACILITY PAROLE MONITORING GUIDELINE 35C PT.3
MONITORING EXEMPTIONS FOR PRIVATE BATHROOMS CAN BE GRANTED BY BUILDING MGMT (ASK FOR FORM F34.2)
THIS SIGN IS PROTECTED WITH PERMSMLL (TM) ANTI-TAMPERING COATING. CALL 0800-STOPSTNK IF ACTIVATED BY ACCIDENT.
IS YOUR FRIEND SINGLE?
HAND ENTANGLEMENT HAZARD
RESUME NORMAL OPERATIONS
SHOPLIFTERS WILL BE PROSECUTED
HAVE YOU SEEN RICK AND MORTY?
WARRANTY VOID IF REMOVED
WARNING: RADIATION HAZARD
21+ WITH ID
HERE THERE BE DRAGONS
WHO'S THAT BEHIND YOU?
TAKE TWO, THEY'RE SMALL
HOT OR ICED?
HAPPY AIRPLANE DAY!
PLEASE ENTER FROM REAR, SLOWLY. GENTLY.
TONY DANZA AVAILABLE BY APPOINTMENT ONLY!
PARKING DEMOLITION TO COMMENCE SEPTM^HEOF
EQUESTRIAN EVENTS BY PERMIT ONLY
ALL VISITORS REQUIRED TO PREREGISTER WITH MANAGEMENT
PLEASE LEAVE VALUABLES AT FRONT DESK. MOBILE PHONES MAY BE CONFISCATED.
FAILURE TO COMPLY MAY RESULT IN DEATH OR DISMEMBERMENT
GOVERNORS HOMOCIDE REDUCTION PROGRAM TASK FORCE - SITE HONORABLE MENTION 2014
BY READING THIS SIGN YOU CONSENT TO BE BOUND BY THE LICENSE AGREEMENT THAT ACCOMPANIES THIS SIGN
NOTICE THERE IS NO "P" IN THEM. PLEASE KEEP IT THAT WAY.
MANDATORY TACO TUESDAYS
VIOLATORS WILL BE PROSECUTED
NO SARCASM
EXTERNAL USE ONLY
TAKE WITH MILK
CERTIFIED GMO FREE
WE'RE ON TO YOU
NO LOAFING
NO STICKERS
AND YOU'RE REALLY STARTING TO FREAK US OUT
YOUR WIFE IS ASKING ABOUT YOU. WHAT SHOULD I TELL HER?
FRIDAY IS CASUAL DAY
BE HOME BY 10:00 PM
CAMERAS TO BE INSTALLED IN RESIDENCES STARTING NEXT WEEK
ERIC GOTTESMAN IS WATCHING THE FEED AND JUDGING YOU
YOUR HOA FEES GO TO GOOD USE
CHECK CRIME STATS BEFORE BUYING
THE EAST SIDE OF THE BUILDING HAS A LOT OF ROAD NOISE
$___,___ FOR A CONDO HERE IS WAY TOO MUCH
THE GUY MOVING OUT WILL PISS ON THE WALLS
GETTING A PARKING PASS SOUNDS EASY BUT ISN'T
NO EYE CONTACT - PENALTY $200
"Label removers will be prosecuted"
"Don't remove me, I now know who you are"
TOILET CAMERAS ARE FOR RESEARCH PURPOSES ONLY
THE GOSTAK DISTIMS THE DOSHES
COLORLESS GREEN IDEAS SLEEP FURIOUSLY
TENSION APPREHENSION AND DISSENSION HAVE BEGUN
BUFFALO BUFFALO BUFFALO BUFFALO BUFFALO BUFFALO BUFFALO BUFFALO
LOREM IPSUM DOLOR SIT AMET
Tenser, said the Tensor.
PEEL THIS OFF AND I WILL CUT YOU
LEAVE THE MASK ON
CURFEW IN EFFECT
LET IT JUST WORK ITS MAGIC
BOTH SIDES
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
EVERYBODY WANG CHUNG TONIGHT
SINGLE DOSE ENSURES MAXIMUM COMPLIANCE
"It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again"
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED
IGNORE THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN
SEPTEMBER 11TH SEPTEMBER 11TH SEPTEMBER 11TH SEPTEMBER 11TH SEPTEMBER 11TH
Pretty much anything from Scarfolk would work
http://scarfolk.blogspot.com/
But the "Whatever you do - Don't" campaign seems particularly apt
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ff59ebmURDE/UYyLvQUURGI/AAAAAAAABXc/z7OWx8Mus5Q/s640/don%27twww-scarfolk-blogspot-com.jpg
PLEASE NOTE: OUR PRIVACY POLICY HAS CHANGED
THIS SIDE TOWARD ENEMY
[adult swim] (is that still a thing?)
WE ARE NOT THINGS
SUN'S OUT GUNS OUT
BUT THEY'RE NOT VERY GOOD
LADIES DRINK FREE
I want to thank you all for your awesome suggestions. Keep them coming.
Someone has now taken to ripping them down twice a day. I am going to need to buy more label tape.
BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED
All models over 18 years of age.
An equal opportunity employer (M/F/H/Q/Z/R/S/L).
If condition persists, consult your physician.
Best viewed with Internet Explorer.
Beware the Jabberwock.
Call before you dig.
Cash value 1/20 of a cent.
Ceci n'est pas une pipe.
Coated with food-grade vegetable, beeswax, and/or shellac-based wax or resin.
Comes complete with applicator.
Contains no fruit juice.
Dispose of properly.
For prevention of disease only.
INSPECTED BY #6
Microwavable.
No animals were mistreated or abused in the manufacturing of this product.
One backup copy may be made.
Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop.
No spitting.
Reg. Penna. Dept. Agr.
Pull down. Tear up.
Sanitized for your protection.
Slightly higher in California.
If you see something, say something.
The Shadow knows.
You have the right to remain silent.
Vegan cameras available upon request.
Transponder must be worn at all times.
Facility may contain peanuts.
Hard hats required.
This is the sign Gotham deserves.
Hand stamp required for reentry.
EDIBLE SIGN, FREE SAMPLE
THANK YOU FOR PARTICIPATING IN SOCIAL EXPERIMENT 21.B/5 TRIAL 11
BACK IN LINE, CITIZEN
NO PURCHASE NECESSARY FOR PARTICIPATION
STICKER HAS NOT BEEN REMOVED YET
FREE SIGN - PLEASE TAKE ONE
NOVELTY PURPOSES ONLY
SIGN CONTAINS MATERIALS KNOWN BY THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA TO BE HARMFUL
YOU MUST BE AS TALL AS SIGN TO PARTICIPATE
PLEASE REPLACE THIS STICKER IF YOU CANNOT READ IT
WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO
ACTUALLY, BY THE CHEAPEST SECURITY WE COULD HIRE
BY CLOSE-MINDED PEOPLE
ONLY 100 CALORIES PER SERVING
ART IS RESISTANCE
KEEP ON PEELING
THE PEN IS MIGHTIER THAN THE FINGERNAIL
THORAZINE PRESCRIPTION NOT INCLUDED
WE'RE ALL SO TERRIBLY EXCITED
BEWARB!
AT NO TIME DO MY FINGERS LEAVE MY HANDS
WATCH THE SKIES!
I WANT TO BELIEVE
ALWAYS BE CLOSING
ARE WE HAVING FUN YET?
WE DEMAND THE CONE OF SILENCE
BEWARE THE MUMMIES CURSE!
NO JAI ALAI
THE SECRET TO HAPPINESS IS TOTAL COMPLIANCE
THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN IGNORING AND IGNORANCE, YOU HAVE TO WORK AT IT
WOULD YOU RATHER BE WATCHED, OR HELP WITH THE WATCHING?
FOUR LEGS GOOD, TWO LEGS BAD
VICTORY THROUGH VIDEOTAPING LOBBIES
WELCOME TO THE PANOPTICON
ONE DAY THE SADNESS WILL END
The sad thing is that you have now spent more thought on this than whoever put up the signs, whose thought process I suspect went no further than "You've got to build bypasses." If you asked them why, I doubt they'd understand the question.
Ah, the life of a gentleman curmudgeon.
THE OWLS ARE NOT WHAT THEY SEEM
BALANCE IS THE ESSENCE OF DETACHMENT
SIX SEASONS AND A MOVIE
SILENCE WILL FALL
WARNING DROP BEARS AHEAD
DO NOT FEED THE TERRORISTS
TRIGGER WARNING
CITATION NEEDED
YOUR VOTE IS NOT COUNTED
IT'S NOT FACISM WHEN WE DO IT
SAFETY NOT GUARANTEED
TAP DANCING REGULATIONS STRICTLY ENFORCED
BEWARE OF LEOPARD
DON'T BLINK
ENGLAND EXPECTS THAT EVERY MAN WILL DO HIS DUTY
YOU MAY CHECK OUT AT ANY TIME
WE KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER
THE MAGIC WORDS ARE SQUEAMISH OSSIFRAGE
SNORT MY TAINT
THEY ARE COMING
THEY ARE COMING
REGRETTABLE
Decal paper? I wonder if the time-consumption arms race would be a win (you spend lots of effort mucking about with decal printing and application, and they have to spend a lot more effort to remove it).
The solution is clearly to print your own, identical version of the sign - except with whatever you want underneath the text.
Cover up that particular text with a sticker.
When they remove it, bam. Magic.
If you do not have CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN clearance, leave the area now.
Years ago at Paddington Station in London the following was written on a wall by an unknown artist, who became known as the Master of Paddington.
FAR AWAY IS CLOSE AT HAND IN IMAGES OF ELSEWHERE
It would be nice if the Master were commemorated on another continent.
CLOSED FOR INVENTORY
VLAD WAS HERE
AD AERARIUM
OWLBREATH
YOU WON'T GET IT UP THE STEPS
WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE
FOR A GOOD TIME CALL 8?7-5309
YOU'VE GOT MAIL
LOOK BEHIND YOU, A THREE HEADED MONKEY
HAVE FUN STORMIN' DA CASTLE
THEY'RE KISSING AGAIN
I'VE SEEN IT. IT'S RUBBISH
GET SCHWIFTY
PLEASE, NO MORE GETTING SCHWIFTY
REPENT, HARLEQUIN
NEVERMORE
ANYONE ELSE HAVE A STORY TO SHARE? FEEL FREE TO CHIME IN
I LOVE YOU, STICKER REMOVER. WE GIVE EACH OTHER PURPOSE
I'VE BEEN TALKING ALL THIS TIME, AND YOU NEVER SAY A WORD
TALK TO ME!
REMEMBER THE DAY WE MET?
SHORTEST MATH JOKE: LET EPSILON BE LESS THAN ZERO
Prove there's 2 points on earth diametrically opposite to each other,
with the same temperature and pressure.
WE AWAIT SILENT TRISTERO'S EMPIRE
WE HAVE ALTERED THE PRIVACY AGREEMENT - PRAY WE DON'T ALTER IT ANY FURTHER
REMOVE LABEL TO ACCEPT LICENSE AGREEMENT
WE DIDN'T TELL YOU ABOUT THE BATS
GO PODS!
A MARK GOODSON - BILL TODMAN PRODUCTION
STAY IN VIEW, PLEASE
THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS
PARENTAL WARNING EXPLICIT CONTENT
OH NO, NOT AGAIN
HELLO, SWEETIE
FASTER PUSSYCAT KILL! KILL!
WHEN YOU GOT IT, FLAUNT IT
A LITTLE DAB'LL DO YA
BURMA SHAVE
WE TRY HARDER
PLEASE DON'T SQUEEZE THE CHARMIN
THE ANTIDOTE FOR CIVILIZATION
IT'S THE REAL THING
WE ANSWER TO A HIGHER AUTHORITY
BECAUSE I'M WORTH IT
DOES WHAT EXACTLY WHAT IT SAYS ON THE TIN
REASSURINGLY EXPENSIVE
RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU'RE SURE
BETWEEN LOVE AND MADNESS LIES OBSESSION
DON'T BE EVIL
THINK DIFFERENT
OUTWIT. OUTPLAY. OUTLAST.
THAT'S RIGHT, HAPHEAD. I'M LOOKING AT YOU
HOW NOW BROWN COW
IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, LEAVE
DON'T HOLD THE DOOR FOR ANYONE YOU DON'T KNOW
our song is the way you laugh, exposing row after row of venomous incisors
A PRIVATE FIRM HAS WEAPONIZED YOUR FEAR OF SURVEILLANCE
I haven't suggestions for mischief, but I just wish to express my hope that the new "THIS IS NOT A CAMERA" label on the urinal in the downstairs men's room at DNA is related.
So, funny story.
As you might imagine, removing errant stickers from the walls is one of the usual end-of-night tasks for our staff...
And the reason that one is still there is... quite a few people who work for me looked at that one and thought, "Wait, is that supposed to be there? I'd better ask first."
POOR IMPULSE CONTROL
COUNT ZERO INTERUPT
ACCESS CONTROL MATRIX
WE NEED GUNS. LOTS OF GUNS.
YOU'LL HAVE TO SEE IT FOR YOURSELF
I just got this email:
Hooray!
I SMELL A WUMPUS
BATS NEARBY
I FEEL A DRAFT
FOUND THE HIDDEN CODE? ARRANGE THE LABELS IN ORDER
:) :P ;-D O_o =):-)#> ~(_8^(I)
EXERCISE VAUGE ^H^H^H^H^H^H^H VAGUE CAUTION
THERE IS A $12 REPLACEMENT FEE FOR EACH LABEL REMOVED
COME BACK WITH A WARRANT
NO SOUP FOR YOU!
WATCH YOUR STEP
CAN I JUST REMOVE THIS SIGN ALREADY? AND THE CAMERAS TOO?
IS THIS ART YET?
YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK
ARE WE THERE YET? (Repeated multiple times)
OW! QUIT IT!
A LITTLE KNOWLEDGE CAN GO A LONG WAY
A LOT OF PROFESSIONALS ARE CRACKPOTS
A MAN CAN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS TO BE A MOTHER
A NAME MEANS A LOT JUST BY ITSELF
A POSITIVE ATTITUDE MEANS ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD
A RELAXED MAN IS NOT NECESSARILY A BETTER MAN
A SENSE OF TIMING IS THE MARK OF GENIUS
A SINCERE EFFORT IS ALL YOU CAN ASK
A SINGLE EVENT CAN HAVE INFINITELY MANY INTERPRETATIONS
A SOLID HOME BASE BUILDS A SENSE OF SELF
A STRONG SENSE OF DUTY IMPRISONS YOU
ABSOLUTE SUBMISSION CAN BE A FORM OF FREEDOM
ABSTRACTION IS A TYPE OF DECADENCE
ABUSE OF POWER COMES AS NO SURPRISE
ACTION CAUSES MORE TROUBLE THAN THOUGHT
ALIENATION PRODUCES ECCENTRICS OR REVOLUTIONARIES
ALL THINGS ARE DELICATELY INTERCONNECTED
AMBITION IS JUST AS DANGEROUS AS COMPLACENCY
AMBIVALENCE CAN RUIN YOUR LIFE
AN ELITE IS INEVITABLE
ANGER OR HATE CAN BE A USEFUL MOTIVATING FORCE
ANIMALISM IS PERFECTLY HEALTHY
ANY SURPLUS IS IMMORAL
ANYTHING IS A LEGITIMATE AREA OF INVESTIGATION
ARTIFICIAL DESIRES ARE DESPOILING THE EARTH
AT TIMES INACTIVITY IS PREFERABLE TO MINDLESS FUNCTIONING
AT TIMES YOUR UNCONSCIOUSNESS IS TRUER THAN YOUR CONSCIOUS MIND
AUTOMATION IS DEADLY
AWFUL PUNISHMENT AWAITS REALLY BAD PEOPLE
BAD INTENTIONS CAN YIELD GOOD RESULTS
BEING ALONE WITH YOURSELF IS INCREASINGLY UNPOPULAR
BEING HAPPY IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING ELSE
BEING JUDGMENTAL IS A SIGN OF LIFE
BEING SURE OF YOURSELF MEANS YOU'RE A FOOL
BELIEVING IN REBIRTH IS THE SAME AS ADMITTING DEFEAT
BOREDOM MAKES YOU DO CRAZY THINGS
CALM IS MORE CONDUCTIVE TO CREATIVITY THAN IS ANXIETY
CATEGORIZING FEAR IS CALMING
CHANGE IS VALUABLE WHEN THE OPPRESSED BECOME TYRANTS
CHASING THE NEW IS DANGEROUS TO SOCIETY
CHILDREN ARE THE MOST CRUEL OF ALL
CHILDREN ARE THE HOPE OF THE FUTURE
CLASS ACTION IS A NICE IDEA WITH NO SUBSTANCE
CLASS STRUCTURE IS AS ARTIFICIAL AS PLASTIC
CONFUSING YOURSELF IS A WAY TO STAY HONEST
CRIME AGAINST PROPERTY IS RELATIVELY UNIMPORTANT
DECADENCE CAN BE AN END IN ITSELF
DECENCY IS A RELATIVE THING
DEPENDENCE CAN BE A MEAL TICKET
DESCRIPTION IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN METAPHOR
DEVIANTS ARE SACRIFICED TO INCREASE GROUP SOLIDARITY
DISGUST IS THE APPROPRIATE RESPONSE TO MOST SITUATIONS
DISORGANIZATION IS A KIND OF ANESTHESIA
DON'T PLACE TO MUCH TRUST IN EXPERTS
DRAMA OFTEN OBSCURES THE REAL ISSUES
DREAMING WHILE AWAKE IS A FRIGHTENING CONTRADICTION
DYING AND COMING BACK GIVES YOU CONSIDERABLE PERSPECTIVE
DYING SHOULD BE AS EASY AS FALLING OFF A LOG
EATING TOO MUCH IS CRIMINAL
ELABORATION IS A FORM OF POLLUTION
EMOTIONAL RESPONSES AR AS VALUABLE AS INTELLECTUAL RESPONSES
ENJOY YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU CAN'T CHANGE ANYTHING ANYWAY
ENSURE THAT YOUR LIFE STAYS IN FLUX
EVEN YOUR FAMILY CAN BETRAY YOU
EVERY ACHIEVEMENT REQUIRES A SACRIFICE
EVERYONE'S WORK IS EQUALLY IMPORTANT
EVERYTHING THAT'S INTERESTING IS NEW
EXCEPTIONAL PEOPLE DESERVE SPECIAL CONCESSIONS
EXPIRING FOR LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL BUT STUPID
EXPRESSING ANGER IS NECESSARY
EXTREME BEHAVIOR HAS ITS BASIS IN PATHOLOGICAL PSYCHOLOGY
EXTREME SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS LEADS TO PERVERSION
FAITHFULNESS IS A SOCIAL NOT A BIOLOGICAL LAW
FAKE OR REAL INDIFFERENCE IS A POWERFUL PERSONAL WEAPON
FATHERS OFTEN USE TOO MUCH FORCE
FEAR IS THE GREATEST INCAPACITATOR
FREEDOM IS A LUXURY NOT A NECESSITY
GIVING FREE REIN TO YOUR EMOTIONS IS AN HONEST WAY TO LIVE
GO ALL OUT IN ROMANCE AND LET THE CHIPS FALL WHERE THEY MAY
GOING WITH THE FLOW IS SOOTHING BUT RISKY
GOOD DEEDS EVENTUALLY ARE REWARDED
GOVERNMENT IS A BURDEN ON THE PEOPLE
GRASS ROOTS AGITATION IS THE ONLY HOPE
GUILT AND SELF-LACERATION ARE INDULGENCES
HABITUAL CONTEMPT DOESN'T REFLECT A FINER SENSIBILITY
HIDING YOUR EMOTIONS IS DESPICABLE
HOLDING BACK PROTECTS YOUR VITAL ENERGIES
HUMANISM IS OBSOLETE
HUMOR IS A RELEASE
IDEALS ARE REPLACED BY CONVENTIONAL GOALS AT A CERTAIN AGE
IF YOU AREN'T POLITICAL YOUR PERSONAL LIFE SHOULD BE EXEMPLARY
IF YOU CAN'T LEAVE YOUR MARK GIVE UP
IF YOU HAVE MANY DESIRES YOUR LIFE WILL BE INTERESTING
IF YOU LIVE SIMPLY THERE IS NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT
IGNORING ENEMIES IS THE BEST WAY TO FIGHT
ILLNESS IS A STATE OF MIND
IMPOSING ORDER IS MAN'S VOCATION FOR CHAOS IS HELL
IN SOME INSTANCES IT'S BETTER TO DIE THAN TO CONTINUE
INHERITANCE MUST BE ABOLISHED
IT CAN BE HELPFUL TO KEEP GOING NO MATTER WHAT
IT IS HEROIC TO TRY TO STOP TIME
IT IS MAN'S FATE TO OUTSMART HIMSELF
IT IS A GIFT TO THE WORLD NOT TO HAVE BABIES
IT'S BETTER TO BE A GOOD PERSON THAN A FAMOUS PERSON
IT'S BETTER TO BE LONELY THAN TO BE WITH INFERIOR PEOPLE
IT'S BETTER TO BE NAIVE THAN JADED
IT'S BETTER TO STUDY THE LIVING FACT THAN TO ANALYZE HISTORY
IT'S CRUCIAL TO HAVE AN ACTIVE FANTASY LIFE
IT'S GOOD TO GIVE EXTRA MONEY TO CHARITY
IT'S IMPORTANT TO STAY CLEAN ON ALL LEVELS
IT'S JUST AN ACCIDENT THAT YOUR PARENTS ARE YOUR PARENTS
IT'S NOT GOOD TO HOLD TOO MANY ABSOLUTES
IT'S NOT GOOD TO OPERATE ON CREDIT
IT'S VITAL TO LIVE IN HARMONY WITH NATURE
JUST BELIEVING SOMETHING CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN
KEEP SOMETHING IN RESERVE FOR EMERGENCIES
KILLING IS UNAVOIDABLE BUT NOTHING TO BE PROUD OF
KNOWING YOURSELF LETS YOU UNDERSTAND OTHERS
KNOWLEDGE SHOULD BE ADVANCED AT ALL COSTS
LABOR IS A LIFE-DESTROYING ACTIVITY
LACK OF CHARISMA CAN BE FATAL
LEISURE TIME IS A GIGANTIC SMOKE SCREEN
LISTEN WHEN YOUR BODY TALKS
LOOKING BACK IS THE FIRST SIGN OF AGING AND DECAY
LOVING ANIMALS IS A SUBSTITUTE ACTIVITY
LOW EXPECTATIONS ARE GOOD PROTECTION
MANUAL LABOR CAN BE REFRESHING AND WHOLESOME
MEN ARE NOT MONOGAMOUS BY NATURE
MODERATION KILLS THE SPIRIT
MONEY CREATES TASTE
MONOMANIA IS A PREREQUISITE OF SUCCESS
MORALS ARE FOR LITTLE PEOPLE
MOST PEOPLE ARE NOT FIT TO RULE THEMSELVES
MOSTLY YOU SHOULD MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS
MOTHERS SHOULDN'T MAKE TOO MANY SACRIFICES
MUCH WAS DECIDED BEFORE YOU WERE BORN
MURDER HAS ITS SEXUAL SIDE
MYTH CAN MAKE REALITY MORE INTELLIGIBLE
NOISE CAN BE HOSTILE
NOTHING UPSETS THE BALANCE OF GOOD AND EVIL
OCCASIONALLY PRINCIPLES ARE MORE VALUABLE THAN PEOPLE
OFFER VERY LITTLE INFORMATION ABOUT YOURSELF
OFTEN YOU SHOULD ACT LIKE YOU ARE SEXLESS
OLD FRIENDS ARE BETTER LEFT IN THE PAST
OPACITY IS AN IRRESISTIBLE CHALLENGE
PAIN CAN BE A VERY POSITIVE THING
PEOPLE ARE BORING UNLESS THEY ARE EXTREMISTS
PEOPLE ARE NUTS IF THEY THINK THEY ARE IMPORTANT
PEOPLE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT THEY DO UNLESS THEY ARE INSANE
PEOPLE WHO DON'T WORK WITH THEIR HANDS ARE PARASITES
PEOPLE WHO GO CRAZY ARE TOO SENSITIVE
PEOPLE WON'T BEHAVE IF THEY HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE
PHYSICAL CULTURE IS SECOND BEST
PLANNING FOR THE FUTURE IS ESCAPISM
PLAYING IT SAFE CAN CAUSE A LOT OF DAMAGE IN THE LONG RUN
POLITICS IS USED FOR PERSONAL GAIN
POTENTIAL COUNTS FOR NOTHING UNTIL IT'S REALIZED
PRIVATE PROPERTY CREATED CRIME
PURSUING PLEASURE FOR THE SAKE OF PLEASURE WILL RUIN YOU
PUSH YOURSELF TO THE LIMIT AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE
RAISE BOYS AND GIRLS THE SAME WAY
RANDOM MATING IS GOOD FOR DEBUNKING SEX MYTHS
RECHANNELING DESTRUCTIVE IMPULSES IS A SIGN OF MATURITY
RECLUSES ALWAYS GET WEAK
REDISTRIBUTING WEALTH IS IMPERATIVE
RELATIVITY IS NO BOON TO MANKIND
RELIGION CAUSES AS MANY PROBLEMS AS IT SOLVES
REMEMBER YOU ALWAYS HAVE FREEDOM OF CHOICE
REPETITION IS THE BEST WAY TO LEARN
RESOLUTIONS SERVE TO EASE OUR CONSCIENCE
REVOLUTION BEGINS WITH CHANGES IN THE INDIVIDUAL
ROMANTIC LOVE WAS INVENTED TO MANIPULATE WOMEN
ROUTINE IS A LINK WITH THE PAST
ROUTINE SMALL EXCESSES ARE WORSE THAN THEN THE OCCASIONAL DEBAUCH
SACRIFICING YOURSELF FOR A BAD CAUSE IS NOT A MORAL ACT
SALVATION CAN'T BE BOUGHT AND SOLD
SELF-AWARENESS CAN BE CRIPPLING
SELF-CONTEMPT CAN DO MORE HARM THAN GOOD
SELFISHNESS IS THE MOST BASIC MOTIVATION
SELFLESSNESS IS THE HIGHEST ACHIEVEMENT
SEPARATISM IS THE WAY TO A NEW BEGINNING
SEX DIFFERENCES ARE HERE TO STAY
SIN IS A MEANS OF SOCIAL CONTROL
SLIPPING INTO MADNESS IS GOOD FOR THE SAKE OF COMPARISON
SLOPPY THINKING GETS WORSE OVER TIME
SOLITUDE IS ENRICHING
SOMETIMES SCIENCE ADVANCES FASTER THAN IT SHOULD
SOMETIMES THINGS SEEM TO HAPPEN OF THEIR OWN ACCORD
SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME ON SELF-IMPROVEMENT IS ANTISOCIAL
STARVATION IS NATURE'S WAY
STASIS IS A DREAM STATE
STERILIZATION IS A WEAPON OF THE RULERS
STRONG EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT STEMS FROM BASIC INSECURITY
STUPID PEOPLE SHOULDN'T BREED
SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST APPLIES TO MEN AND ANIMALS
SYMBOLS ARE MORE MEANINGFUL THAN THINGS THEMSELVES
TAKING A STRONG STAND PUBLICIZES THE OPPOSITE POSITION
TALKING IS USED TO HIDE ONE'S INABILITY TO ACT
TEASING PEOPLE SEXUALLY CAN HAVE UGLY CONSEQUENCES
TECHNOLOGY WILL MAKE OR BREAK US
THE CRUELEST DISAPPOINTMENT IS WHEN YOU LET YOURSELF DOWN
THE DESIRE TO REPRODUCE IS A DEATH WISH
THE FAMILY IS LIVING ON BORROWED TIME
THE IDEA OF REVOLUTION IS AN ADOLESCENT FANTASY
THE IDEA OF TRANSCENDENCE IS USED TO OBSCURE OPPRESSION
THE IDIOSYNCRATIC HAS LOST ITS AUTHORITY
THE MOST PROFOUND THINGS ARE INEXPRESSIBLE
THE MUNDANE IS TO BE CHERISHED
THE NEW IS NOTHING BUT A RESTATEMENT OF THE OLD
THE ONLY WAY TO BE PURE IS TO STAY BY YOURSELF
THE SUM OF YOUR ACTIONS DETERMINES WHAT YOU ARE
THE UNATTAINABLE IS INVARIABLE ATTRACTIVE
THE WORLD OPERATES ACCORDING TO DISCOVERABLE LAWS
THERE ARE TOO FEW IMMUTABLE TRUTHS TODAY
THERE'S NOTHING EXCEPT WHAT YOU SENSE
THERE'S NOTHING REDEEMING IN TOIL
THINKING TOO MUCH CAN ONLY CAUSE PROBLEMS
THREATENING SOMEONE SEXUALLY IS A HORRIBLE ACT
TIMIDITY IS LAUGHABLE
TO DISAGREE PRESUPPOSES MORAL INTEGRITY
TO VOLUNTEER IS REACTIONARY
TORTURE IS BARBARIC
TRADING A LIFE FOR A LIFE IS FAIR ENOUGH
TRUE FREEDOM IS FRIGHTFUL
UNIQUE THINGS MUST BE THE MOST VALUABLE
UNQUESTIONING LOVE DEMONSTRATES LARGESSE OF SPIRIT
USING FORCE TO STOP FORCE IS ABSURD
VIOLENCE IS PERMISSIBLE EVEN DESIRABLE OCCASIONALLY
WAR IS A PURIFICATION RITE
WE MUST MAKE SACRIFICES TO MAINTAIN OUR QUALITY OF LIFE
WHEN SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPENS PEOPLE WAKE UP
WISHING THINGS AWAY IS NOT EFFECTIVE
WITH PERSEVERANCE YOU CAN DISCOVER ANY TRUTH
WORDS TEND TO BE INADEQUATE
WORRYING CAN HELP YOU PREPARE
YOU ARE A VICTIM OF THE RULES YOU LIVE BY
YOU ARE GUILELESS IN YOUR DREAMS
YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR CONSTITUTING THE MEANING OF THINGS
YOU ARE THE PAST PRESENT AND FUTURE
YOU CAN LIVE ON THROUGH YOUR DESCENDANTS
YOU CAN'T EXPECT PEOPLE TO BE SOMETHING THEY'RE NOT
YOU CAN'T FOOL OTHERS IF YOU'RE FOOLING YOURSELF
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WHAT UNTIL YOU SUPPORT YOURSELF
YOU HAVE TO HURT OTHERS TO BE EXTRAORDINARY
YOU MUST BE INTIMATE WITH A TOKEN FEW
YOU MUST DISAGREE WITH AUTHORITY FIGURES
YOU MUST HAVE ONE GRAND PASSION
YOU MUST KNOW WHERE YOU STOP AND THE WORLD BEGINS
YOU CAN UNDERSTAND SOMEONE OF YOUR SEX ONLY
YOU OWE THE WORLD NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND
YOU SHOULD STUDY AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE
YOUR ACTIONS AE POINTLESS IF NO ONE NOTICES
YOUR OLDEST FEARS ARE THE WORST ONES
You could have just, y'know... Linked it rather than copy-pasting the entire alphabetically-sorted list of truisms verbatim.
I mean, it's not like it hasn't been archived.
Well, they linked to them at the end.
I've completely stopped reading the comments here because it's just a place for people to dump their ~/clever.txt files or whatever.
CAT ~/CLEVER.TXT
DO NOT READ THIS LABEL
YOU ARE IN ERROR. NO ONE IS SCREAMING.
This building
is monitored by
closed-circuit cameras
TO PREVENT FURTHER NAKED BUTTSEX INCIDENTS.
CAMERAS MAY BE CONCEALED AS PERMITTED BY THE SECOND AMENDMENT.
YOU'RE ON CHLAMYDIA CAMERA!
EXERCISE VAGINAL CAUTION
CAUTION: VAGINAS AT PLAY
BE VAGINAL. BEHAVE.
LOL JK