EXERCISE VAGUE CAUTION

A few weeks ago, some shitheel glued up signs in my building's lobby reading "THIS BUILDING IS MONITORED BY CLOSED-CIRCUIT CAMERAS". Presumably this was a shitheel from the building management company that my homeowner's association hired, but who can tell.

These signs irk me. They irk me good.

First, what a waste of effort. Does anyone think that these signs will actually change anyones' behavior? Is there anyone in the world who might have reason to be concerned about whether they are being recorded who would not understand what the big black dome indicated?

Second, these signs are both on the outside and inside of the door. That's right, they're not facing only at the street, but also inward to the lobby, to which only people with a key have access. Someone might generously assume that the shitheel who put up this sign did so in some misguided hope that it might prevent the homeless from sleeping in our alcove -- as if that would work -- it's not like they're trying to hide the fact that they're sleeping there. "We have video of you sleeping." "Ok..." But no, they're pointing the sign at me too. They think that I need to be reminded that I'm being recorded.

Third, the purpose of signs like this is merely to instill unease. They are fnords. You are to see them and have a little twinge. As if Jesus Christ Himself leaned down from his home on Mount Olympus and flicked your ear while saying BE GOOD. Some shitheel spent my HOA money to insult me.

Fourth, I've lived in this building for a long-assed time, and I'm like 99% sure that those cameras are not actually hooked up to anything, so it's a lie from start to finish.

Fifth, ubiquitous surveillance sucks, and asymmetric surveillance sucks even more. If these cameras are actually being monitored, by whom? Because as a condo owner in this building, I'm a not-insigificant-percentage owner of these cameras, so why can't I watch the feed too? If you're looking at me, I should be able to look right back. (I've asked these questions of the HOA, years ago. I never got any answers.)

Sixth, if there was some triggering incident for these signs going up, I think it's safe to say that, without knowing any details, we can summarize it as, "Something must be done, this is something, therefore it must be done."

Anyway, yeah, I hate these signs a lot. But instead of just tearing them down, as was my first instinct, I made some alterations instead. For the outward-facing sign, I added

DRESS CODE STRICTLY ENFORCED

and for the inward-facing sign, I added

EXERCISE VAGUE CAUTION

After a couple of days, someone peeled them off. Hey, that's cool, my label printer has a lot of tape left in it, and I had already printed a few others in anticipation of this:

SO TRY TO LOOK REALLY COOL

DON'T SUSPECT YOUR NEIGHBOR: REPORT HIM!

FEAR THE UNKNOWN - MONSTERS ARE REAL

DRONE STRIKES AUTHORIZED 7PM - 5AM

AWARD-WINNING SECURITY THEATRE

YOU'RE PROBABLY GUILTY OF SOMETHING

(Feel free to add your suggestions below.)

Anyway, someone has been peeling these off every day or two, and I keep putting them back. I'm really curious who is doing it, though, and why. I suppose it's possible that it's some other condo owner who is both not offended by the original sign, and doesn't think I'm funny, but, I don't even know how to process that. Can there be such a person?

I think that a much more likely explanation is that it's one of the despicable real estate agents who darken our doorway on an almost-daily basis. I'll bet one of these shitbags looks at that surveillance sign and thinks that this is going to be a selling point to whatever new-Twitter-hire South Bay dudebro he's trying to foist off an overpriced condo on, and dammit he has a hard enough time already convincing this manchild that this hideous, filthy neighborhood isn't dangerous, and he doesn't need my sarcasm costing him the sale.

At least, I hope so. I hope a little vein pops out on his forehead every time he's scraping one of these labels off with fingernails bitten to the quick.


Update: This story continues in "Exercise Vague Spartacus" and concludes in "Exercise Vague Joy".


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Tags: , , , ,

151 Responses:

  1. Jeff Bell says:

    You might be able to find out who is removing your labels if you just set up a.... well you know.

  2. carl says:

    Do you attend the HOA meetings, Jamie? By now they must have asked you to serve on the governing board, no?

    • UnlikelyLass says:

      WHEN YOU RIDE ALONE, YOU RIDE WITH HITLER

      BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING

      BE SEEING YOU, NUMBER SIX

      EDGES OF SIGN ARE SHARP

      FOOTAGE AVAILABLE UPON RECEIPT OF FORM 27B-6

      NO TAKEBACKS

      FILMED IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE

      QUESTIONS ARE A BURDEN TO OTHERS

      WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN AT WAR WITH EURASIA

      DO NOT FOLD, BEND, OR MUTILATE

      HOW'S MY SURVEILLANCE? CALL 1-800-....

      THIS BUILDING PROTECTED BY BATMAN

      SPEAK FRIEND AND ENTER

      BLESS THIS MESS

      NO HONOR AMONGST THIEVES

      DAVE'S NOT HERE MAN

      SLIDE TO UNLOCK

      TODAY'S SECRET WORD IS: HELIOTROPE

      THIS SIGN BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE
      LETTERS N, S, AND A

      MY LOG DOES NOT JUDGE

      (C) 2015 NOVELTY WARNING SIGNS. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

  3. Lloyd says:

    This building
    is monitored by
    closed-circuit cameras

    THIS DOOR IS ALARMED

    (Thankyou, thankyou, I'll be here all week.)

    • Lloyd says:

      LIFE IS DEMANDING WITHOUT UNDERSTANDING.
      I SAW THE SIGN AND IT OPENED UP MY EYES I SAW THE SIGN.

    • Mark says:

      I think the signs are posted the way they are due to the legal requirements of the state of California for surveillance cameras.

  4. foot says:

    Time to hook up some 5w infrared LED's and aim em at those guys. If they're actually recording.

    http://hackedgadgets.com/2008/02/21/ir-leds-used-to-defeat-security-cameras/

  5. Fox Sircy says:

    "Who Watches the Watchman?" would be a good sticker.

  6. Eli the Bearded says:

    SIGN MODIFICATIONS WILL BE REPORTED

    YOU CANNOT SHORT-CIRCUIT SECURITY

    and maybe for a "They Live" nod:

    CONSUME

  7. Jon says:

    Anyway, someone has been peeling these off every day or two, and I keep putting them back. I'm really curious who is doing it, though, and why.

    Sounds like a good reason to require access to video material.

  8. Y u no sign your labels "The Mgt"???

  9. qwzy says:

    HIGHER INCOMES EXEMPTED

    THE GHOST IN THE MACHINE IS A POLICITAL PRISONER

    RIOT IN THE LOOP ON NEW YEAR'S EVE

    TWO MEN ENTER — ONE MAN LEAVES

    GOOD BEHAVIOR WILL BE REWARDED

    SING FOR YOUR SUPPER

  10. Lloyd says:

    blog page says 11 comments on this article, this article page says 3 comments on this article? even after refreshing? odd.

  11. Andreas Boozon says:

    This building
    is monitored by
    closed-circuit cameras

    MAY THE CIRCUIT BE UNBROKEN
    BY AND BY LORD, BY AND BY
    THERE'S A BETTER HOME AWAITING
    EYE IN THE SKY LORD, EYE IN THE SKY...

  12. hattifattener says:

    > Does anyone think that these signs will actually change anyones' behavior?

    Probably? I mean there was that study where just having pictures of eyes with no further implication of surveillance changed peoples' behavior. Like you say, the purpose is to instill unease, and it seems like they work. Something something bentham something foucault something i am very smart.

  13. Paul N says:

    DO WHAT JESUS WOULD DO.

    DON'T YOU FEEL SAFER NOW?

    http://WWW.HOMELANDSECURITY.GOV

    THREAT ADVISORY LEVEL: FUCHSIA

    TIP YOUR WAITSTAFF.

    WE READ YOUR FACEBOOK TOO.

    And of course, the obvious:
    FNORD

  14. phuzz says:

    BUT WHO IS WATCHING THE CAMERAS?
    IT HAS NOT MOVED YET
    THEY HUNGER FOR YOUR IMAGE
    YOU ARE PART OF AN EXPERIMENT
    WE WANTED TO GET OPEN-CIRCUIT, BUT, YOU KNOW
    PAIRED CAMERAS ARE RUNNING SCORPION-STARE
    DON'T LOOK UP! THEY ARE WATCHING
    IF YOU CAN READ THIS IT'S TOO LATE
    HELP I'M TRAPPED IN A SIGNMAKING FACTORY
    CLICK HERE TO LIKE THIS SIGN
    DO NOT LICK CAMERAS
    PH'NGLUI MGLW'NAFH CTHULHU R'LYEH WGAH'NAGL FHTAGN

    And stuck underneath one of the longer stickers, as a special surprise for whoever's peeling them off:
    KEEP TRYING!

    • Jurph says:

      ACTIVATE DAZZLE CAMOUFLAGE NOW

      TRY GOOGLE SODA, NOW IN STORES

      CLOSED-CIRCUIT CHIMERAS ON BACK ORDER

      THIS SIGN IS ALSO MONITORED

      MELLOW GREETINGS, CITIZENS!

      PICK UP THAT CAN

      I CONDONE CAN-DO CONDOS

      COURTESY OF SCARFOLK COUNCIL

      SPONSORED BY CASTING-COUCH.COM

      THIS SIGN DEPLOYS CLOSTRIDIUM SPORES IF TAMPERED

      THIS STICKER IS AFFIXED WITH A LEVEL 7 BIOTOXIN

      MY CAMERA IS MONITORING YOUR HONOR STUDENT

      YOU LOOK SILLY PEELING OFF THESE STICKERS

      ONLY VANDALS PEEL OFF AUTHORIZED STICKERS

      DRINK CRYSTAL PEPSI

      MAX HEADROOM 2.3M

      WARRANT CANARIES WHISTLE "CHERRY PIE"

      DEREFERENCE YOUR NULL POINTERS

      A BOOT SECTOR VIRUS STOMPING ON A HUMAN FACE FOREVER

  15. You have a way with printer tape.

  16. zompist says:

    QUIS CUSTODIET IPSOS CUSTODIES

    ARE YOU GOING OUTSIDE LIKE THAT?

    LAUGH TRACK IS PRERECORDED

    AN ANTI-VAMPIRE MEASURE

    VIEW TOP SCORES ON OUR SITE

  17. Hanan Cohen says:

    IF IT WERE TRUE YOU WOULD ALREADY KNOW WHO I AM.

  18. Nick G says:

    NO, REALLY, WE SWEAR!

    TRAPDOOR CAN ACTIVATE WITHOUT WARNING

    FACE RECOGNITION FEATURES NOW FULLY FUNCTIONAL

    EXCEPT ON WEEKENDS AND STATUTORY HOLIDAYS

  19. Marten Veldthuis says:

    I remember when we stickered a "Bicycles places here will be removed" with "This sign is not legal" (it wasn't, you're allowed to park on a public footpath as long as you're not creating a dangerous situation).

    Under that sticker, we had another sticker saying "Stickers on this sign will be removed". And under that one "Told you so."

    I still crack up when I think back to the face of the person removing the layers of stickers, and that he just gave up when he encountered that last one.

  20. Jeff Clough says:

    TWO DRINK MINIMUM

    YIFFING WILL BE PROSECUTED

    CLOSED-CIRCUIT CAMERAS, CARL!

    AND DOUG, WHO NEVER WASHES HIS HANDS

  21. Dave says:

    HAVE A LAUGH AT THE HORROR OF THINGS TO COME.
    SUSPICION BREEDS CONFIDENCE.
    BE SAFE BE SUSPICIOUS.
    RELAX IN A PANIC FREE ATMOSPHERE.

  22. Ewen McNeill says:

    THIS CAMERA IS MONITORED BY OTHER CAMERAS; IT IS CAMERAS ALL THE WAY DOWN

    POST NO BILLS

    MIX TAPES AVAILABLE ON REQUEST

    WATCH THIS SPACE FOR OTHER IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENTS

    WARRANT CANARY: THIS FOOTAGE HAS NOT BEEN SEIZED BY THE NSA

    Ewen

  23. Alex says:

    YOU ARE NOW LEAVING THE AMERICAN SECTOR? or YOU ARE NOW ENTERING THE AMERICAN SECTOR?

  24. Cat Mara says:

    Would not be complete without some references to the old "Paranoia" RPG: THE COMPUTER IS YOUR FRIEND, HAPPINESS IS MANDATORY, etc.

  25. Monkey Mind says:

    SHARE AND ENJOY

    • Karellen says:

      GO STICK YOUR HEAD IN A PIG
      YOUR PLASTIC PAL WHO'S FUN TO BE WITH
      DON'T PANIC
      I NEVER COULD GET THE HANG OF THURSDAYS
      BEWARE OF THE LEOPARD
      WE HAVE NORMALITY. ANYTHING YOU STILL CAN'T COPE WITH IS THEREFORE YOUR OWN PROBLEM.
      HAVE YOU THOUGHT OF JOINING THE B ARK?

  26. giltay says:

    NO FLASHMOBS (flashmobs are still a thing, right?)

    IT IS NOW SAFE TO SHUT DOWN YOUR COMPUTER

    YOUR MONITOR TODAY IS SGT. McNEIL

    OVER 300 MILLION SERVED

    ENTRY BY SECRET GESTURE ONLY

  27. Tom Boutell says:

    STOP BORING ME
    LOBBY RELEASES LEVEL 12 EBOLA VIRUS AFTER 5 MINUTES OCCUPANCY
    YOU LOOKED NICER YESTERDAY
    I LIKE THOSE JEANS. MMM.

  28. Pavel Lishin says:

    SCORPION STARE TECHNOLOGY IN USE

    • k3ninho says:

      [BLACK CIRCLE geas prohibited this comment from being posted - you did not read this text]

  29. lol nope says:

    If you sand down the edges of the sticker, they're more difficult to peel off. You know, in case you're not having enough fun trolling the sticker removal personnel.

    • Elusis says:

      But now I want them to be regularly removed, because this post has generated such amazing replacement options. If ever there were a use case for Tumblr, this is it.

  30. Jetdillo says:

    ARE YOU NOW OR HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ?
    WE ONLY WANT TO HELP YOU
    YOU HAVE NOWHERE TO GO

  31. PUMPKIN SPICE IS PEOPLE

  32. Patrick says:

    When in doubt, Leisuretown it out:

    ...LET'S DO PORN!
    ARE YOU BEATING OFF TONIGHT OR NEXT THURSDAY
    EXCUSE ME SIR ARE MY BALLS HANGING OUT OF MY SHORTS
    EVERYONE PULL OUT YOUR DONGS AND LET THE SUNSHINE IN

  33. Rob says:

    Many people believe that it's illegal to record surveillance video without a warning to the people getting recorded.

    The sign isn't to scare you, it's to prevent a nuisance lawsuit, or to prevent a judge from tossing out a case against someone caught committing a crime.

    This is unlikely to make you happier about the sign.

  34. Rob says:

    After attaching the next update, score across the tape with a scalpel or razorblade so that it has to be peeled off in irritating fragments like a self-destructing price price sticker. If you feel really keen, give it a coat of spray lacquer.

    THE PRICE OF ETERNAL VIGILANCE IS LIBERTY
    WASH YOUR HANDS
    MAINTAIN A NEUTRAL FACIAL EXPRESSION
    REMAIN STILL UNTIL SCAN IS COMPLETE
    DO NOT DEVIATE FROM MARKED ROUTE
    WELCOME TO THE ARENA
    REGISTER NOW TO RECEIVE YOUR IMPLANT

  35. Theodore says:

    FOOTAGE ERASED WHEN NOT SELLABLE

    STERILIZATION WITH GAMMA RAYS OPERATED HOURLY

    on a side note, why isn't enough extra value - for a twitter hire - to live in the same condo of jwz?

  36. tsuba42 says:

    ABANDON ALL HOPE, YE WHO ENTER HERE
    THIS IS NOT AN EXIT

  37. Merijn says:

    SYNTAX ERROR
    WE HAVE CAMERA'S WATCHING THE CAMERA
    DO NOT POKE THE BEAR
    YOU WILL LIKE US ON FACEBOOK
    +1 FOR MOONING THE CAMERA
    THE PASSWORD IS 1234
    DO NOT FEED THE HUMANS
    ONLY MOIST FARTING
    PLEASE CLOSE LOOP ON ENTERING
    SIGNED LORD CHICKENSOUP
    ASS TRAFFIC REAR EXIT

  38. Brandon says:

    So if they're monitoring, how come they haven't come to have a word with you about your sign defacement?

    Just sayin'

  39. Elusis says:

    ARBEIT MACHT FREI

    SPEAK DIRECTLY INTO KEYHOLE

    THIS EXPERIMENT REQUIRES THAT YOU CONTINUE

    YOU HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE; PLEASE CONTINUE

    IT IS ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL THAT YOU CONTINUE

  40. Wood says:

    As for the reason they put the original signs up, I don't know where you live but in my Country, if you intall CCTV, it's a legal obligation to inform people that they're being film. You can't record people without their knowledge.

    • jwz says:

      "THIS PRODUCT CONTAINS CHEMICALS KNOWN TO THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA TO CAUSE VAGUE UNEASE AND DISTRUST."

      • Foone Turing says:

        "THIS SIGN CONTAINS WORDS KNOWN TO THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA TO CAUSE VAGUE UNEASE AND MILD WORRY"

  41. THIS IS NOT THE BAGGAGE TICKET DESCRIBED IN THE WARSAW CONVENTION

  42. Chris says:

    FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY

  43. Erbo says:

    TRAITORS CAN'T HIDE

    MAY THE ODDS BE EVER IN YOUR FAVOR

    THIS SENTENCE IS FALSE

    CONSCIENCE IS AN INNER VOICE

    RESISTANCE IS FUTILE

    MEMBER FDIC

    IF RASH DEVELOPS, DISCONTINUE USE

    CLOSE COVER BEFORE STRIKING

  44. Alan says:

    VIDEO WILL BE USED FOR PURPOSES OF MASTURBATION ONLY

    PLEASE TIP YOUR BARTENDER

    LOOKING AT THE CAMERAS IS A CRIMINAL OFFENSE

    YOU ARE IN A MAZE OF TWISTY PASSAGES, ALL ALIKE

    YOUR LOTTERY NUMBERS ARE 23 17 35 25 07 09

    HAIL ERIS!

    THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE YOU AWAY HA HA!

  45. Hot Chocolate says:

    BY ORDER OF THE COUNCIL OF NINE

    CONTINUING TO BE SURVEILLED CONSTITUTES AGREEMENT WITH THE EULA

    WE'RE FILMING A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT IDIOTS

    THIS INSTALLATION, ENTITLED "WARNING SIGN" PAID FOR BY THE NATIONAL ENDOWMENT FOR THE ARTS

    FOR POWER AND GLORY

    IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE PROPHECY

    THE BUBBLE ON THE CEILING IS FILLED WITH CANDY

    DANCE FOR OUR AMUSEMENT, RUBES

    WAR IS PEACE. FREEDOM IS SLAVERY. IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH.

    OUR LOBBY IS CLOTHING OPTIONAL

    COMMIT A CRIME. WE DARE YOU. WE DOUBLE DARE YOU, MOTHERFUCKER.

    LIKE IN THAT SONG BY THE POLICE, I'LL BE WATCHING YOU.

    ...UNLIKE IN THAT SONG, I'LL BE PANTSLESS, SWEATY, HUNCHED, AND FURIOUSLY PANTING

    NO CAMELIDS OR SIMILAR UNGULATES PERMITTED BEYOND THIS POINT

    WANNA CYBER?

    YOU HAVE PASSED THE FIRST TEST. RETURN AT DAWN FOR FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS.

    ORGIES IN THIS SPACE PERMITTED BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 7 AND MIDNIGHT

    HERE'S LOOKIN' AT YOU, KID

    WE WERE HOPING WE'D SEE JUICIER CRIMES

    "SIGNS" WAS A TERRIBLE MOVIE

    NICOLAS CAGE IS A MEDIOCRE ACTOR AT BEST

    I DO NOT APPRECIATE THE OEUVRE OF NICOLAS CAGE

    I CONTINUE TO FAIL TO APPRECIATE THE OEUVRE OF NICOLAS CAGE

    SINCERELY, NICOLAS CAGE

    ...BUT WHO WAS PHONE?

    YOU GET ONE "FREE" CRIME EVERY SIX DAYS

    AND ONCE WE FIGURE OUT HOW TO RECORD, YOU'RE GOING TO BE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE

    PLEASE DON'T SPOIL THE SECURITY THEATER BY ADDING YOUR OWN SOUNDTRACK

    BEHIND YOU THERE IS A MAN. HE IS PLOTTING AGAINST YOU. KILL HIM. KILL HIM NOW.

    FACELESS BEAUROCRACY IS THE BEST KIND OF BEAUROCRACY

  46. UnlikelyLass says:

    SIDE EFFECTS MAY INCLUDE HEADACHE, NAUSEA, DEATH

    DO NOT TAUNT HAPPY FUN BALL

    THIS MACHINE GIVES NO CHANGE

    NO SMILING

    ALL NOT FORBIDDEN IS COMPULSORY

    IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD

    AMONGST OUR WEAPONS ARE FEAR, UNCERTAINTY, AND DOUBT

    FOR BEST RESULTS SHAKE VIGOROUSLY

    MOTHER KNOWS BEST

    CAN YOU SPOT FIVE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN SIGNS?

    BY ORDER OF LARS OF PLANET ZOD

    SO MUCH TO DO, SO LITTLE TIME

    AIM AWAY FROM FACE

    PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH SIGN. IMPORTANT DUST-SETTLING MEASUREMENTS IN PROGRESS.

    VIDEO KILLED THE RADIO STAR

    • UnlikelyLass says:

      I WANT TO BELIEVE

      NO WURBLING. SKLORKING PERMITTED BETWEEN 3 AND 7 PM WITH PERMIT.

      THIS IS YOUR GOD

      THE WEED OF CRIME BEARS BITTER FRUIT

      MR. SMITH'S SUITS PROVIDED BY BARNEY'S OF NEW YORK

      CONTENTS UNDER PRESSURE

      SAN LOSS OF 1d10/3 UPON READING

      PLEASE EXCUSE OUR GLOBAL HEGEMONY

      ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY

      MARK MILLAR LICKS GOATS

  47. J. Peterson says:

    These great sign suggestions make for a delightful twitter feed. Only a little bit of hacking required for our host to click his favorite for the day and send it to the label printer.

    The sign becomes a minor tourist attraction. Merchandising opportunities follow.

    • JR says:

      > The sign becomes a minor tourist attraction.

      Irate locals install more cameras...

  48. Larry says:

    YOU'RE STILL PACKED, RIGHT?
    IT MAY STILL BE DANGEROUS
    THIS CONTRACT IS SEALED
    SO SAY WE ALL
    above it: FDA WARNING

  49. Another Dave says:

    PLEASE DO NOT REMOVE THIS STICKER

    IN COMPLIANCE WITH SF CORRECTIONAL FACILITY PAROLE MONITORING GUIDELINE 35C PT.3

    MONITORING EXEMPTIONS FOR PRIVATE BATHROOMS CAN BE GRANTED BY BUILDING MGMT (ASK FOR FORM F34.2)

    THIS SIGN IS PROTECTED WITH PERMSMLL (TM) ANTI-TAMPERING COATING. CALL 0800-STOPSTNK IF ACTIVATED BY ACCIDENT.

  50. nooj says:

    IS YOUR FRIEND SINGLE?
    HAND ENTANGLEMENT HAZARD
    RESUME NORMAL OPERATIONS
    SHOPLIFTERS WILL BE PROSECUTED
    HAVE YOU SEEN RICK AND MORTY?
    WARRANTY VOID IF REMOVED
    WARNING: RADIATION HAZARD
    21+ WITH ID
    HERE THERE BE DRAGONS
    WHO'S THAT BEHIND YOU?
    TAKE TWO, THEY'RE SMALL
    HOT OR ICED?
    HAPPY AIRPLANE DAY!

  51. margaret says:

    PLEASE ENTER FROM REAR, SLOWLY. GENTLY.
    TONY DANZA AVAILABLE BY APPOINTMENT ONLY!
    PARKING DEMOLITION TO COMMENCE SEPTM^HEOF
    EQUESTRIAN EVENTS BY PERMIT ONLY
    ALL VISITORS REQUIRED TO PREREGISTER WITH MANAGEMENT
    PLEASE LEAVE VALUABLES AT FRONT DESK. MOBILE PHONES MAY BE CONFISCATED.
    FAILURE TO COMPLY MAY RESULT IN DEATH OR DISMEMBERMENT
    GOVERNORS HOMOCIDE REDUCTION PROGRAM TASK FORCE - SITE HONORABLE MENTION 2014

  52. Line Noise says:

    BY READING THIS SIGN YOU CONSENT TO BE BOUND BY THE LICENSE AGREEMENT THAT ACCOMPANIES THIS SIGN

  53. Doodpants says:

    NOTICE THERE IS NO "P" IN THEM. PLEASE KEEP IT THAT WAY.

  54. Fin says:

    MANDATORY TACO TUESDAYS
    VIOLATORS WILL BE PROSECUTED

  55. apm74 says:

    NO SARCASM

  56. jh says:

    EXTERNAL USE ONLY
    TAKE WITH MILK
    CERTIFIED GMO FREE
    WE'RE ON TO YOU
    NO LOAFING

  57. gryazi says:

    NO STICKERS

  58. nooj says:

    AND YOU'RE REALLY STARTING TO FREAK US OUT
    YOUR WIFE IS ASKING ABOUT YOU. WHAT SHOULD I TELL HER?
    FRIDAY IS CASUAL DAY
    BE HOME BY 10:00 PM
    CAMERAS TO BE INSTALLED IN RESIDENCES STARTING NEXT WEEK

  59. Bill Paul says:

    ERIC GOTTESMAN IS WATCHING THE FEED AND JUDGING YOU

  60. nooj says:

    YOUR HOA FEES GO TO GOOD USE
    CHECK CRIME STATS BEFORE BUYING
    THE EAST SIDE OF THE BUILDING HAS A LOT OF ROAD NOISE
    $___,___ FOR A CONDO HERE IS WAY TOO MUCH
    THE GUY MOVING OUT WILL PISS ON THE WALLS
    GETTING A PARKING PASS SOUNDS EASY BUT ISN'T

  61. Axio says:

    "Label removers will be prosecuted"
    "Don't remove me, I now know who you are"

  62. Paul says:

    TOILET CAMERAS ARE FOR RESEARCH PURPOSES ONLY

  63. THE GOSTAK DISTIMS THE DOSHES

    COLORLESS GREEN IDEAS SLEEP FURIOUSLY

    TENSION APPREHENSION AND DISSENSION HAVE BEGUN

    BUFFALO BUFFALO BUFFALO BUFFALO BUFFALO BUFFALO BUFFALO BUFFALO

    LOREM IPSUM DOLOR SIT AMET

  64. Jonathan says:

    PEEL THIS OFF AND I WILL CUT YOU
    LEAVE THE MASK ON
    CURFEW IN EFFECT
    LET IT JUST WORK ITS MAGIC
    BOTH SIDES

  65. cthulhu says:

    Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

  66. Cheshire Noir says:

    SINGLE DOSE ENSURES MAXIMUM COMPLIANCE

  67. Nate says:

    "It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again"

  68. mhoye says:

    SATISFACTION GUARANTEED

    IGNORE THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN

    SEPTEMBER 11TH SEPTEMBER 11TH SEPTEMBER 11TH SEPTEMBER 11TH SEPTEMBER 11TH

  69. Rob says:

    Pretty much anything from Scarfolk would work

    http://scarfolk.blogspot.com/

    But the "Whatever you do - Don't" campaign seems particularly apt

    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ff59ebmURDE/UYyLvQUURGI/AAAAAAAABXc/z7OWx8Mus5Q/s640/don%27twww-scarfolk-blogspot-com.jpg

  70. isabella v says:

    PLEASE NOTE: OUR PRIVACY POLICY HAS CHANGED

  71. Jason! says:

    THIS SIDE TOWARD ENEMY
    [adult swim] (is that still a thing?)
    WE ARE NOT THINGS
    SUN'S OUT GUNS OUT
    BUT THEY'RE NOT VERY GOOD
    LADIES DRINK FREE

  72. jwz says:

    I want to thank you all for your awesome suggestions. Keep them coming.

    Someone has now taken to ripping them down twice a day. I am going to need to buy more label tape.

  73. Stefan Bethke says:

    BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED

  74. All models over 18 years of age.
    An equal opportunity employer (M/F/H/Q/Z/R/S/L).
    If condition persists, consult your physician.
    Best viewed with Internet Explorer.
    Beware the Jabberwock.
    Call before you dig.
    Cash value 1/20 of a cent.
    Ceci n'est pas une pipe.
    Coated with food-grade vegetable, beeswax, and/or shellac-based wax or resin.
    Comes complete with applicator.
    Contains no fruit juice.
    Dispose of properly.
    For prevention of disease only.
    INSPECTED BY #6
    Microwavable.
    No animals were mistreated or abused in the manufacturing of this product.
    One backup copy may be made.
    Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop.
    No spitting.
    Reg. Penna. Dept. Agr.
    Pull down. Tear up.
    Sanitized for your protection.
    Slightly higher in California.
    If you see something, say something.
    The Shadow knows.
    You have the right to remain silent.

  75. Eric says:

    Vegan cameras available upon request.
    Transponder must be worn at all times.
    Facility may contain peanuts.
    Hard hats required.
    This is the sign Gotham deserves.
    Hand stamp required for reentry.

  76. Jack says:

    EDIBLE SIGN, FREE SAMPLE
    THANK YOU FOR PARTICIPATING IN SOCIAL EXPERIMENT 21.B/5 TRIAL 11
    BACK IN LINE, CITIZEN
    NO PURCHASE NECESSARY FOR PARTICIPATION
    STICKER HAS NOT BEEN REMOVED YET
    FREE SIGN - PLEASE TAKE ONE
    NOVELTY PURPOSES ONLY
    SIGN CONTAINS MATERIALS KNOWN BY THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA TO BE HARMFUL
    YOU MUST BE AS TALL AS SIGN TO PARTICIPATE
    PLEASE REPLACE THIS STICKER IF YOU CANNOT READ IT
    WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO
    ACTUALLY, BY THE CHEAPEST SECURITY WE COULD HIRE

    • Paul N says:

      BY CLOSE-MINDED PEOPLE

      ONLY 100 CALORIES PER SERVING

      ART IS RESISTANCE

      KEEP ON PEELING

      THE PEN IS MIGHTIER THAN THE FINGERNAIL

      THORAZINE PRESCRIPTION NOT INCLUDED

  77. UnlikelyLass says:

    WE'RE ALL SO TERRIBLY EXCITED

    BEWARB!

    AT NO TIME DO MY FINGERS LEAVE MY HANDS

    WATCH THE SKIES!

    I WANT TO BELIEVE

    ALWAYS BE CLOSING

    ARE WE HAVING FUN YET?

    WE DEMAND THE CONE OF SILENCE

    BEWARE THE MUMMIES CURSE!

    NO JAI ALAI

  78. UnlikelyLass says:

    THE SECRET TO HAPPINESS IS TOTAL COMPLIANCE

    THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN IGNORING AND IGNORANCE, YOU HAVE TO WORK AT IT

    WOULD YOU RATHER BE WATCHED, OR HELP WITH THE WATCHING?

    FOUR LEGS GOOD, TWO LEGS BAD

    VICTORY THROUGH VIDEOTAPING LOBBIES

    WELCOME TO THE PANOPTICON

    ONE DAY THE SADNESS WILL END

  79. Walter says:

    The sad thing is that you have now spent more thought on this than whoever put up the signs, whose thought process I suspect went no further than "You've got to build bypasses." If you asked them why, I doubt they'd understand the question.

  80. Walter says:

    THE OWLS ARE NOT WHAT THEY SEEM
    BALANCE IS THE ESSENCE OF DETACHMENT
    SIX SEASONS AND A MOVIE
    SILENCE WILL FALL
    WARNING DROP BEARS AHEAD
    DO NOT FEED THE TERRORISTS
    TRIGGER WARNING

    • UnlikelyLass says:

      CITATION NEEDED

      YOUR VOTE IS NOT COUNTED

      IT'S NOT FACISM WHEN WE DO IT

      SAFETY NOT GUARANTEED

      TAP DANCING REGULATIONS STRICTLY ENFORCED

  81. UnlikelyLass says:

    BEWARE OF LEOPARD

  82. Walter says:

    DON'T BLINK
    ENGLAND EXPECTS THAT EVERY MAN WILL DO HIS DUTY
    YOU MAY CHECK OUT AT ANY TIME
    WE KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER
    THE MAGIC WORDS ARE SQUEAMISH OSSIFRAGE
    SNORT MY TAINT
    THEY ARE COMING
    THEY ARE COMING

    REGRETTABLE

  83. Eric says:

    Decal paper? I wonder if the time-consumption arms race would be a win (you spend lots of effort mucking about with decal printing and application, and they have to spend a lot more effort to remove it).

    • Pavel Lishin says:

      The solution is clearly to print your own, identical version of the sign - except with whatever you want underneath the text.

      Cover up that particular text with a sticker.

      When they remove it, bam. Magic.

  84. If you do not have CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN clearance, leave the area now.

  85. winston says:

    Years ago at Paddington Station in London the following was written on a wall by an unknown artist, who became known as the Master of Paddington.

    FAR AWAY IS CLOSE AT HAND IN IMAGES OF ELSEWHERE

    It would be nice if the Master were commemorated on another continent.

    • Monkey Mind says:

      CLOSED FOR INVENTORY
      VLAD WAS HERE
      AD AERARIUM
      OWLBREATH
      YOU WON'T GET IT UP THE STEPS
      WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE
      FOR A GOOD TIME CALL 8?7-5309
      YOU'VE GOT MAIL
      LOOK BEHIND YOU, A THREE HEADED MONKEY
      HAVE FUN STORMIN' DA CASTLE
      THEY'RE KISSING AGAIN
      I'VE SEEN IT. IT'S RUBBISH

  86. nooj says:

    GET SCHWIFTY
    PLEASE, NO MORE GETTING SCHWIFTY
    REPENT, HARLEQUIN
    NEVERMORE

    ANYONE ELSE HAVE A STORY TO SHARE? FEEL FREE TO CHIME IN
    I LOVE YOU, STICKER REMOVER. WE GIVE EACH OTHER PURPOSE
    I'VE BEEN TALKING ALL THIS TIME, AND YOU NEVER SAY A WORD
    TALK TO ME!
    REMEMBER THE DAY WE MET?

    SHORTEST MATH JOKE: LET EPSILON BE LESS THAN ZERO
    Prove there's 2 points on earth diametrically opposite to each other,
    with the same temperature and pressure.

  87. Mark E. says:

    WE AWAIT SILENT TRISTERO'S EMPIRE
    WE HAVE ALTERED THE PRIVACY AGREEMENT - PRAY WE DON'T ALTER IT ANY FURTHER
    REMOVE LABEL TO ACCEPT LICENSE AGREEMENT
    WE DIDN'T TELL YOU ABOUT THE BATS
    GO PODS!
    A MARK GOODSON - BILL TODMAN PRODUCTION
    STAY IN VIEW, PLEASE
    THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS
    PARENTAL WARNING EXPLICIT CONTENT
    OH NO, NOT AGAIN
    HELLO, SWEETIE
    FASTER PUSSYCAT KILL! KILL!
    WHEN YOU GOT IT, FLAUNT IT
    A LITTLE DAB'LL DO YA
    BURMA SHAVE
    WE TRY HARDER
    PLEASE DON'T SQUEEZE THE CHARMIN
    THE ANTIDOTE FOR CIVILIZATION
    IT'S THE REAL THING
    WE ANSWER TO A HIGHER AUTHORITY
    BECAUSE I'M WORTH IT
    DOES WHAT EXACTLY WHAT IT SAYS ON THE TIN
    REASSURINGLY EXPENSIVE
    RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU'RE SURE
    BETWEEN LOVE AND MADNESS LIES OBSESSION
    DON'T BE EVIL
    THINK DIFFERENT
    OUTWIT. OUTPLAY. OUTLAST.

  88. nooj says:

    THAT'S RIGHT, HAPHEAD. I'M LOOKING AT YOU
    HOW NOW BROWN COW
    IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, LEAVE
    DON'T HOLD THE DOOR FOR ANYONE YOU DON'T KNOW
    our song is the way you laugh, exposing row after row of venomous incisors
    A PRIVATE FIRM HAS WEAPONIZED YOUR FEAR OF SURVEILLANCE

  89. jwise says:

    I haven't suggestions for mischief, but I just wish to express my hope that the new "THIS IS NOT A CAMERA" label on the urinal in the downstairs men's room at DNA is related.

    • jwz says:

      So, funny story.

      As you might imagine, removing errant stickers from the walls is one of the usual end-of-night tasks for our staff...

      And the reason that one is still there is... quite a few people who work for me looked at that one and thought, "Wait, is that supposed to be there? I'd better ask first."

  90. Jason Kaczor says:

    POOR IMPULSE CONTROL
    COUNT ZERO INTERUPT
    ACCESS CONTROL MATRIX
    WE NEED GUNS. LOTS OF GUNS.
    YOU'LL HAVE TO SEE IT FOR YOURSELF

  91. jwz says:

    I just got this email:

    I'm a resident of [YOUR ADDRESS] and I've been greatly enjoying your signs. Please don't stop.

    Hooray!

  92. I SMELL A WUMPUS
    BATS NEARBY
    I FEEL A DRAFT

  93. nooj says:

    FOUND THE HIDDEN CODE? ARRANGE THE LABELS IN ORDER
    :)   :P   ;-D   O_o   =):-)#>   ~(_8^(I)
    EXERCISE VAUGE ^H^H^H^H^H^H^H VAGUE CAUTION
    THERE IS A $12 REPLACEMENT FEE FOR EACH LABEL REMOVED
    COME BACK WITH A WARRANT
    NO SOUP FOR YOU!
    WATCH YOUR STEP
    CAN I JUST REMOVE THIS SIGN ALREADY? AND THE CAMERAS TOO?
    IS THIS ART YET?

  94. Nathan Roberts says:

    YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK
    ARE WE THERE YET? (Repeated multiple times)
    OW! QUIT IT!

  95. Elusis says:

    A LITTLE KNOWLEDGE CAN GO A LONG WAY

    A LOT OF PROFESSIONALS ARE CRACKPOTS

    A MAN CAN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS TO BE A MOTHER

    A NAME MEANS A LOT JUST BY ITSELF

    A POSITIVE ATTITUDE MEANS ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD

    A RELAXED MAN IS NOT NECESSARILY A BETTER MAN

    A SENSE OF TIMING IS THE MARK OF GENIUS

    A SINCERE EFFORT IS ALL YOU CAN ASK

    A SINGLE EVENT CAN HAVE INFINITELY MANY INTERPRETATIONS

    A SOLID HOME BASE BUILDS A SENSE OF SELF

    A STRONG SENSE OF DUTY IMPRISONS YOU

    ABSOLUTE SUBMISSION CAN BE A FORM OF FREEDOM

    ABSTRACTION IS A TYPE OF DECADENCE

    ABUSE OF POWER COMES AS NO SURPRISE

    ACTION CAUSES MORE TROUBLE THAN THOUGHT

    ALIENATION PRODUCES ECCENTRICS OR REVOLUTIONARIES

    ALL THINGS ARE DELICATELY INTERCONNECTED

    AMBITION IS JUST AS DANGEROUS AS COMPLACENCY

    AMBIVALENCE CAN RUIN YOUR LIFE

    AN ELITE IS INEVITABLE

    ANGER OR HATE CAN BE A USEFUL MOTIVATING FORCE

    ANIMALISM IS PERFECTLY HEALTHY

    ANY SURPLUS IS IMMORAL

    ANYTHING IS A LEGITIMATE AREA OF INVESTIGATION

    ARTIFICIAL DESIRES ARE DESPOILING THE EARTH

    AT TIMES INACTIVITY IS PREFERABLE TO MINDLESS FUNCTIONING

    AT TIMES YOUR UNCONSCIOUSNESS IS TRUER THAN YOUR CONSCIOUS MIND

    AUTOMATION IS DEADLY

    AWFUL PUNISHMENT AWAITS REALLY BAD PEOPLE

    BAD INTENTIONS CAN YIELD GOOD RESULTS

    BEING ALONE WITH YOURSELF IS INCREASINGLY UNPOPULAR

    BEING HAPPY IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING ELSE

    BEING JUDGMENTAL IS A SIGN OF LIFE

    BEING SURE OF YOURSELF MEANS YOU'RE A FOOL

    BELIEVING IN REBIRTH IS THE SAME AS ADMITTING DEFEAT

    BOREDOM MAKES YOU DO CRAZY THINGS

    CALM IS MORE CONDUCTIVE TO CREATIVITY THAN IS ANXIETY

    CATEGORIZING FEAR IS CALMING

    CHANGE IS VALUABLE WHEN THE OPPRESSED BECOME TYRANTS

    CHASING THE NEW IS DANGEROUS TO SOCIETY

    CHILDREN ARE THE MOST CRUEL OF ALL

    CHILDREN ARE THE HOPE OF THE FUTURE

    CLASS ACTION IS A NICE IDEA WITH NO SUBSTANCE

    CLASS STRUCTURE IS AS ARTIFICIAL AS PLASTIC

    CONFUSING YOURSELF IS A WAY TO STAY HONEST

    CRIME AGAINST PROPERTY IS RELATIVELY UNIMPORTANT

    DECADENCE CAN BE AN END IN ITSELF

    DECENCY IS A RELATIVE THING

    DEPENDENCE CAN BE A MEAL TICKET

    DESCRIPTION IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN METAPHOR

    DEVIANTS ARE SACRIFICED TO INCREASE GROUP SOLIDARITY

    DISGUST IS THE APPROPRIATE RESPONSE TO MOST SITUATIONS

    DISORGANIZATION IS A KIND OF ANESTHESIA

    DON'T PLACE TO MUCH TRUST IN EXPERTS

    DRAMA OFTEN OBSCURES THE REAL ISSUES

    DREAMING WHILE AWAKE IS A FRIGHTENING CONTRADICTION

    DYING AND COMING BACK GIVES YOU CONSIDERABLE PERSPECTIVE

    DYING SHOULD BE AS EASY AS FALLING OFF A LOG

    EATING TOO MUCH IS CRIMINAL

    ELABORATION IS A FORM OF POLLUTION

    EMOTIONAL RESPONSES AR AS VALUABLE AS INTELLECTUAL RESPONSES

    ENJOY YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU CAN'T CHANGE ANYTHING ANYWAY

    ENSURE THAT YOUR LIFE STAYS IN FLUX

    EVEN YOUR FAMILY CAN BETRAY YOU

    EVERY ACHIEVEMENT REQUIRES A SACRIFICE

    EVERYONE'S WORK IS EQUALLY IMPORTANT

    EVERYTHING THAT'S INTERESTING IS NEW

    EXCEPTIONAL PEOPLE DESERVE SPECIAL CONCESSIONS

    EXPIRING FOR LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL BUT STUPID

    EXPRESSING ANGER IS NECESSARY

    EXTREME BEHAVIOR HAS ITS BASIS IN PATHOLOGICAL PSYCHOLOGY

    EXTREME SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS LEADS TO PERVERSION

    FAITHFULNESS IS A SOCIAL NOT A BIOLOGICAL LAW

    FAKE OR REAL INDIFFERENCE IS A POWERFUL PERSONAL WEAPON

    FATHERS OFTEN USE TOO MUCH FORCE

    FEAR IS THE GREATEST INCAPACITATOR

    FREEDOM IS A LUXURY NOT A NECESSITY

    GIVING FREE REIN TO YOUR EMOTIONS IS AN HONEST WAY TO LIVE

    GO ALL OUT IN ROMANCE AND LET THE CHIPS FALL WHERE THEY MAY

    GOING WITH THE FLOW IS SOOTHING BUT RISKY

    GOOD DEEDS EVENTUALLY ARE REWARDED

    GOVERNMENT IS A BURDEN ON THE PEOPLE

    GRASS ROOTS AGITATION IS THE ONLY HOPE

    GUILT AND SELF-LACERATION ARE INDULGENCES

    HABITUAL CONTEMPT DOESN'T REFLECT A FINER SENSIBILITY

    HIDING YOUR EMOTIONS IS DESPICABLE

    HOLDING BACK PROTECTS YOUR VITAL ENERGIES

    HUMANISM IS OBSOLETE

    HUMOR IS A RELEASE

    IDEALS ARE REPLACED BY CONVENTIONAL GOALS AT A CERTAIN AGE

    IF YOU AREN'T POLITICAL YOUR PERSONAL LIFE SHOULD BE EXEMPLARY

    IF YOU CAN'T LEAVE YOUR MARK GIVE UP

    IF YOU HAVE MANY DESIRES YOUR LIFE WILL BE INTERESTING

    IF YOU LIVE SIMPLY THERE IS NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT

    IGNORING ENEMIES IS THE BEST WAY TO FIGHT

    ILLNESS IS A STATE OF MIND

    IMPOSING ORDER IS MAN'S VOCATION FOR CHAOS IS HELL

    IN SOME INSTANCES IT'S BETTER TO DIE THAN TO CONTINUE

    INHERITANCE MUST BE ABOLISHED

    IT CAN BE HELPFUL TO KEEP GOING NO MATTER WHAT

    IT IS HEROIC TO TRY TO STOP TIME

    IT IS MAN'S FATE TO OUTSMART HIMSELF

    IT IS A GIFT TO THE WORLD NOT TO HAVE BABIES

    IT'S BETTER TO BE A GOOD PERSON THAN A FAMOUS PERSON

    IT'S BETTER TO BE LONELY THAN TO BE WITH INFERIOR PEOPLE

    IT'S BETTER TO BE NAIVE THAN JADED

    IT'S BETTER TO STUDY THE LIVING FACT THAN TO ANALYZE HISTORY

    IT'S CRUCIAL TO HAVE AN ACTIVE FANTASY LIFE

    IT'S GOOD TO GIVE EXTRA MONEY TO CHARITY

    IT'S IMPORTANT TO STAY CLEAN ON ALL LEVELS

    IT'S JUST AN ACCIDENT THAT YOUR PARENTS ARE YOUR PARENTS

    IT'S NOT GOOD TO HOLD TOO MANY ABSOLUTES

    IT'S NOT GOOD TO OPERATE ON CREDIT

    IT'S VITAL TO LIVE IN HARMONY WITH NATURE

    JUST BELIEVING SOMETHING CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN

    KEEP SOMETHING IN RESERVE FOR EMERGENCIES

    KILLING IS UNAVOIDABLE BUT NOTHING TO BE PROUD OF

    KNOWING YOURSELF LETS YOU UNDERSTAND OTHERS

    KNOWLEDGE SHOULD BE ADVANCED AT ALL COSTS

    LABOR IS A LIFE-DESTROYING ACTIVITY

    LACK OF CHARISMA CAN BE FATAL

    LEISURE TIME IS A GIGANTIC SMOKE SCREEN

    LISTEN WHEN YOUR BODY TALKS

    LOOKING BACK IS THE FIRST SIGN OF AGING AND DECAY

    LOVING ANIMALS IS A SUBSTITUTE ACTIVITY

    LOW EXPECTATIONS ARE GOOD PROTECTION

    MANUAL LABOR CAN BE REFRESHING AND WHOLESOME

    MEN ARE NOT MONOGAMOUS BY NATURE

    MODERATION KILLS THE SPIRIT

    MONEY CREATES TASTE

    MONOMANIA IS A PREREQUISITE OF SUCCESS

    MORALS ARE FOR LITTLE PEOPLE

    MOST PEOPLE ARE NOT FIT TO RULE THEMSELVES

    MOSTLY YOU SHOULD MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS

    MOTHERS SHOULDN'T MAKE TOO MANY SACRIFICES

    MUCH WAS DECIDED BEFORE YOU WERE BORN

    MURDER HAS ITS SEXUAL SIDE

    MYTH CAN MAKE REALITY MORE INTELLIGIBLE

    NOISE CAN BE HOSTILE

    NOTHING UPSETS THE BALANCE OF GOOD AND EVIL

    OCCASIONALLY PRINCIPLES ARE MORE VALUABLE THAN PEOPLE

    OFFER VERY LITTLE INFORMATION ABOUT YOURSELF

    OFTEN YOU SHOULD ACT LIKE YOU ARE SEXLESS

    OLD FRIENDS ARE BETTER LEFT IN THE PAST

    OPACITY IS AN IRRESISTIBLE CHALLENGE

    PAIN CAN BE A VERY POSITIVE THING

    PEOPLE ARE BORING UNLESS THEY ARE EXTREMISTS

    PEOPLE ARE NUTS IF THEY THINK THEY ARE IMPORTANT

    PEOPLE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT THEY DO UNLESS THEY ARE INSANE

    PEOPLE WHO DON'T WORK WITH THEIR HANDS ARE PARASITES

    PEOPLE WHO GO CRAZY ARE TOO SENSITIVE

    PEOPLE WON'T BEHAVE IF THEY HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE

    PHYSICAL CULTURE IS SECOND BEST

    PLANNING FOR THE FUTURE IS ESCAPISM

    PLAYING IT SAFE CAN CAUSE A LOT OF DAMAGE IN THE LONG RUN

    POLITICS IS USED FOR PERSONAL GAIN

    POTENTIAL COUNTS FOR NOTHING UNTIL IT'S REALIZED

    PRIVATE PROPERTY CREATED CRIME

    PURSUING PLEASURE FOR THE SAKE OF PLEASURE WILL RUIN YOU

    PUSH YOURSELF TO THE LIMIT AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE

    RAISE BOYS AND GIRLS THE SAME WAY

    RANDOM MATING IS GOOD FOR DEBUNKING SEX MYTHS

    RECHANNELING DESTRUCTIVE IMPULSES IS A SIGN OF MATURITY

    RECLUSES ALWAYS GET WEAK

    REDISTRIBUTING WEALTH IS IMPERATIVE

    RELATIVITY IS NO BOON TO MANKIND

    RELIGION CAUSES AS MANY PROBLEMS AS IT SOLVES

    REMEMBER YOU ALWAYS HAVE FREEDOM OF CHOICE

    REPETITION IS THE BEST WAY TO LEARN

    RESOLUTIONS SERVE TO EASE OUR CONSCIENCE

    REVOLUTION BEGINS WITH CHANGES IN THE INDIVIDUAL

    ROMANTIC LOVE WAS INVENTED TO MANIPULATE WOMEN

    ROUTINE IS A LINK WITH THE PAST

    ROUTINE SMALL EXCESSES ARE WORSE THAN THEN THE OCCASIONAL DEBAUCH

    SACRIFICING YOURSELF FOR A BAD CAUSE IS NOT A MORAL ACT

    SALVATION CAN'T BE BOUGHT AND SOLD

    SELF-AWARENESS CAN BE CRIPPLING

    SELF-CONTEMPT CAN DO MORE HARM THAN GOOD

    SELFISHNESS IS THE MOST BASIC MOTIVATION

    SELFLESSNESS IS THE HIGHEST ACHIEVEMENT

    SEPARATISM IS THE WAY TO A NEW BEGINNING

    SEX DIFFERENCES ARE HERE TO STAY

    SIN IS A MEANS OF SOCIAL CONTROL

    SLIPPING INTO MADNESS IS GOOD FOR THE SAKE OF COMPARISON

    SLOPPY THINKING GETS WORSE OVER TIME

    SOLITUDE IS ENRICHING

    SOMETIMES SCIENCE ADVANCES FASTER THAN IT SHOULD

    SOMETIMES THINGS SEEM TO HAPPEN OF THEIR OWN ACCORD

    SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME ON SELF-IMPROVEMENT IS ANTISOCIAL

    STARVATION IS NATURE'S WAY

    STASIS IS A DREAM STATE

    STERILIZATION IS A WEAPON OF THE RULERS

    STRONG EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT STEMS FROM BASIC INSECURITY

    STUPID PEOPLE SHOULDN'T BREED

    SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST APPLIES TO MEN AND ANIMALS

    SYMBOLS ARE MORE MEANINGFUL THAN THINGS THEMSELVES

    TAKING A STRONG STAND PUBLICIZES THE OPPOSITE POSITION

    TALKING IS USED TO HIDE ONE'S INABILITY TO ACT

    TEASING PEOPLE SEXUALLY CAN HAVE UGLY CONSEQUENCES

    TECHNOLOGY WILL MAKE OR BREAK US

    THE CRUELEST DISAPPOINTMENT IS WHEN YOU LET YOURSELF DOWN

    THE DESIRE TO REPRODUCE IS A DEATH WISH

    THE FAMILY IS LIVING ON BORROWED TIME

    THE IDEA OF REVOLUTION IS AN ADOLESCENT FANTASY

    THE IDEA OF TRANSCENDENCE IS USED TO OBSCURE OPPRESSION

    THE IDIOSYNCRATIC HAS LOST ITS AUTHORITY

    THE MOST PROFOUND THINGS ARE INEXPRESSIBLE

    THE MUNDANE IS TO BE CHERISHED

    THE NEW IS NOTHING BUT A RESTATEMENT OF THE OLD

    THE ONLY WAY TO BE PURE IS TO STAY BY YOURSELF

    THE SUM OF YOUR ACTIONS DETERMINES WHAT YOU ARE

    THE UNATTAINABLE IS INVARIABLE ATTRACTIVE

    THE WORLD OPERATES ACCORDING TO DISCOVERABLE LAWS

    THERE ARE TOO FEW IMMUTABLE TRUTHS TODAY

    THERE'S NOTHING EXCEPT WHAT YOU SENSE

    THERE'S NOTHING REDEEMING IN TOIL

    THINKING TOO MUCH CAN ONLY CAUSE PROBLEMS

    THREATENING SOMEONE SEXUALLY IS A HORRIBLE ACT

    TIMIDITY IS LAUGHABLE

    TO DISAGREE PRESUPPOSES MORAL INTEGRITY

    TO VOLUNTEER IS REACTIONARY

    TORTURE IS BARBARIC

    TRADING A LIFE FOR A LIFE IS FAIR ENOUGH

    TRUE FREEDOM IS FRIGHTFUL

    UNIQUE THINGS MUST BE THE MOST VALUABLE

    UNQUESTIONING LOVE DEMONSTRATES LARGESSE OF SPIRIT

    USING FORCE TO STOP FORCE IS ABSURD

    VIOLENCE IS PERMISSIBLE EVEN DESIRABLE OCCASIONALLY

    WAR IS A PURIFICATION RITE

    WE MUST MAKE SACRIFICES TO MAINTAIN OUR QUALITY OF LIFE

    WHEN SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPENS PEOPLE WAKE UP

    WISHING THINGS AWAY IS NOT EFFECTIVE

    WITH PERSEVERANCE YOU CAN DISCOVER ANY TRUTH

    WORDS TEND TO BE INADEQUATE

    WORRYING CAN HELP YOU PREPARE

    YOU ARE A VICTIM OF THE RULES YOU LIVE BY

    YOU ARE GUILELESS IN YOUR DREAMS

    YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR CONSTITUTING THE MEANING OF THINGS

    YOU ARE THE PAST PRESENT AND FUTURE

    YOU CAN LIVE ON THROUGH YOUR DESCENDANTS

    YOU CAN'T EXPECT PEOPLE TO BE SOMETHING THEY'RE NOT

    YOU CAN'T FOOL OTHERS IF YOU'RE FOOLING YOURSELF

    YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WHAT UNTIL YOU SUPPORT YOURSELF

    YOU HAVE TO HURT OTHERS TO BE EXTRAORDINARY

    YOU MUST BE INTIMATE WITH A TOKEN FEW

    YOU MUST DISAGREE WITH AUTHORITY FIGURES

    YOU MUST HAVE ONE GRAND PASSION

    YOU MUST KNOW WHERE YOU STOP AND THE WORLD BEGINS

    YOU CAN UNDERSTAND SOMEONE OF YOUR SEX ONLY

    YOU OWE THE WORLD NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND

    YOU SHOULD STUDY AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE

    YOUR ACTIONS AE POINTLESS IF NO ONE NOTICES

    YOUR OLDEST FEARS ARE THE WORST ONES

  96. bonkydog says:

    YOU ARE IN ERROR. NO ONE IS SCREAMING.

  97. Flippy says:

    This building
    is monitored by
    closed-circuit cameras

    TO PREVENT FURTHER NAKED BUTTSEX INCIDENTS.

  98. Photat says:

    LOL JK

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