I guess VMware decided that the way to improve a perfectly good park was to cover it with tables and literally-astroturfed benches. I feel like this is a pun that I haven't gotten yet. Maybe they can do this to Dolores next!
That was too horrible to contemplate, so instead I sat up top by the seagull lake, where it was very windy, meaning every few minutes my face and lunch got covered with a rain of aerosolized birdshit. But I guess pink eye is better than having to overhear wet dreams of content gamification.