Urban Renewal

I guess VMware decided that the way to improve a perfectly good park was to cover it with tables and literally-astroturfed benches. I feel like this is a pun that I haven't gotten yet. Maybe they can do this to Dolores next!

That was too horrible to contemplate, so instead I sat up top by the seagull lake, where it was very windy, meaning every few minutes my face and lunch got covered with a rain of aerosolized birdshit. But I guess pink eye is better than having to overhear wet dreams of content gamification.

Previously, previously.

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5 Responses:

  1. Mishigas says:

    Virtual grass... makes sense. /eyeroll

  2. Jim Sweeney says:

    You had me at aerosolized birdshit.

  3. Jim Sweeney says:

    Also, I'm pretty sure that outdoor lunching area is from the old tv show, "The Prisoner."

  4. Pseudonymous Coward says:

    Hm. I wonder whether it would be more engaging if the park had user-submitted content (read: furniture, people, backhoes filled with soil)? And, like, a way to share things about the park on social media while at the park?

    ...Maybe machine-learned patterns from big data from sensors in the astroturfed benches to make it, like, part of the Internet of Things? And then gamify it by having people earn points for each random data point from the bench-sensors that they inanely tweet?

    (Let me know if there are any buzzwords I missed, or phrases I failed to conclude with a question mark to denote upward inflection?)

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