The Problematic Bible

"Problematic": The best word for all of your passive-voice, self-congratulatory and vaguely-superior-yet-deniable rhetorical needs!

Bible Verses Where The Word "Wicked" Has Been Replaced With "Problematic"

Genesis 13:12-13

Abram dwelt in the land of Canaan, and Lot dwelt in the cities of the plain and pitched his tent even as far as Sodom. But the men of Sodom were exceedingly problematic and sinful against the Lord.

Genesis 18:23

And Abraham came near and said, "Would You also destroy the bitchin' with the problematic?"

Leviticus 18:17

You shall not uncover the nakedness of a woman and her daughter, nor shall you take her son's daughter or her daughter's daughter, to uncover her nakedness. They are near of kin to her. It is problematic.

Leviticus 20:14

If a man marries a woman and her mother, it is problematic. They shall be burned with fire, both he and they.

1 Samuel 2:12

Now the sons of Eli were problematic; they did not know the Lord.

See, now every time someone says "problematic" I'm going to hear "wicked" and wonder whether they're trying to be ironically Bostonian. ("Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen! It's not going to happen!")

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3 Responses:

  1. Tom Lord says:

    "Lott pitched his tent even as far as Sodom."

    That's a euphemism, right?

  2. robert_ says:

    Maybe a version where they replace 'wicked' with 'for the lulz'

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