Billy Idol

Plus! Bonus catty hate-texting!

Seeing Billy Idol. Experiencing existential despair. Please airdrop Lydia Lunch STAT.
You went to a Billy Idol show willingly?
Outside Lands. Part of the package.
With a VIP pass, he cried less, less, less.
Dear 13-year-old Jamie: it is 2015 and you are seeing Billy Idol and thinking, "I wish I was seeing Sir Mix-a-Lot again instead."
He's wearing a sex pistols t-shirt and non-leather pants.
Who's up after Cyberfogey?
Elton John?
Me: "Is he playing light my fire?"
Maddy: "...not well?"
Oh, classic. Two of the most icky male sex symbols for the price of one!
Also Generation X was a terrible band so stop using that as your claim to legitimacy.
Is Steve Stevens playing with him still?
Yes, and he is at least wearing leather pants.
He looks like this now, doesn't he?
Someone is holding a huge sign saying "looking for someone to hold during Elton John"
Oh god that's so sad.
Did Billy Idol invent duckface?
I think Steven Tyler did. Billy's the sneer guy.
But in either case, I'm sure you're seeing a lot of duckface right now.
Billy Idol is now throwing out dozens of frisbees. Is there a less punk rock thing to do?
During Mony fucking Mony.
I can literally feel my vagina drying up.
I think it's dead.
At first I was fantasizing about Lydia Lunch showing up and kicking his ass but I think that's overkill. We could get by with Goldfrapp. Or Yelle.
Hell, that girl from the Cranes.
At Bootie now, and Smash-Up Derby just played "Dancing With My Single Ladies" and in 2 minutes they were better than Idol's whole set.
Lindsay Stirling was really good though
[quiet retching sounds]
Ha, I kid, I only heard her from inside a porta-potty because I don't give a shit about Riverdance.
Aw, you were listening to rancid shit in its natural habitat!
Doesn't this mean, technically, that you do give a shit about Riverdance?
At the very least, you were making lemonade after life handed you lemons. #feelingblessed

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13 Responses:

  1. Jim Sweeney says:

    This is the best.

  2. Do you have a script somewhere that dumps apple messages sqlite files and renders them into html? Because that's quite handy.

  3. phuzz says:

    I managed to miss out on Billy Idol as a kid, so I tend to think of him as the one who looks like Spike form Buffy.

  4. Edouard says:

    I remember 13-year old me loving Billy Idol. And my friends ask me why I don't listen to any pre-millenial music now.

    And the less said about 14-year old me and Twisted Sister, the better. Thanks.

  5. Kyle Huff says:

    I saw Billy and Steve in 2003. It was a good show. Not quite up to late 80's standards, but oh well. There were no frisbees thrown.

  6. kstop says:

    Listening to the Cranes all day thanks to this.

  7. Alan Smithee says:

    This heavily massaged delightful transcript is so funny ah done snort laughed!