Billy Idol

Plus! Bonus catty hate-texting!

Seeing Billy Idol. Experiencing existential despair. Please airdrop Lydia Lunch STAT.
You went to a Billy Idol show willingly?
Outside Lands. Part of the package.
With a VIP pass, he cried less, less, less.
Dear 13-year-old Jamie: it is 2015 and you are seeing Billy Idol and thinking, "I wish I was seeing Sir Mix-a-Lot again instead."
He's wearing a sex pistols t-shirt and non-leather pants.
Who's up after Cyberfogey?
Elton John?
Me: "Is he playing light my fire?"
Maddy: "...not well?"
Oh, classic. Two of the most icky male sex symbols for the price of one!
Also Generation X was a terrible band so stop using that as your claim to legitimacy.
Is Steve Stevens playing with him still?
Yes, and he is at least wearing leather pants.
He looks like this now, doesn't he?
Someone is holding a huge sign saying "looking for someone to hold during Elton John"
Oh god that's so sad.
Did Billy Idol invent duckface?
I think Steven Tyler did. Billy's the sneer guy.
But in either case, I'm sure you're seeing a lot of duckface right now.
Billy Idol is now throwing out dozens of frisbees. Is there a less punk rock thing to do?
During Mony fucking Mony.
I can literally feel my vagina drying up.
I think it's dead.
At first I was fantasizing about Lydia Lunch showing up and kicking his ass but I think that's overkill. We could get by with Goldfrapp. Or Yelle.
Hell, that girl from the Cranes.
At Bootie now, and Smash-Up Derby just played "Dancing With My Single Ladies" and in 2 minutes they were better than Idol's whole set.
Lindsay Stirling was really good though
[quiet retching sounds]
Ha, I kid, I only heard her from inside a porta-potty because I don't give a shit about Riverdance.
Aw, you were listening to rancid shit in its natural habitat!
Doesn't this mean, technically, that you do give a shit about Riverdance?
At the very least, you were making lemonade after life handed you lemons. #feelingblessed

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