I might have needed a $1000 latte foam printer, if that's what this was.

Except that they aren't actually selling a printer. That's not their business model.


It comes with a $75/month subscription fee, because their actual business model is "capture your customers' personal information so that they can turn your customers into their product."

Remember when companies used to try to make money by selling you things, instead of by selling you out?

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.
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7 Responses:

  1. Leonardo Herrera says:

    But, you'll get an caffeinated emotional experience!

    • Leonardo Herrera says:

      (I cannot believe they manage to say that with a straight face.)

      • Christa says:

        "WE'RE writing the future of coffee"

        It's got to be parody. These people could write for the TV show Silicon Valley, assuming this isn't already a viral marketing stunt for them.

        • jwz says:

          I wish I could believe it is a parody.

          The tech has been done previously, and people who say shit like that actually exist. There are cafes I can no longer eat sandwiches at because I can't take overhearing these people.

          I have never watched Silicon Valley because I assume it is not a parody but is actually thinly veiled self-congratulation. I don't need to watch a show about those shitheels. I used to work for those shitheels.

  2. 205guy says:

    Probably just as well, your baristas would all quit after the nth poop emoji.

  3. J. Peterson says:

    It's much more entertaining to watch a talented barista.

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