Baphomet unveils his fearsome "Troll" aspect.

To Weed Out Protesters at Last Night's Event, The Satanic Temple Had Attendees Transfer Their Souls to Satan

Attendees for the event had to go through the following process:

  1. Show up at the location stated on the e-ticket.
  2. Go through a security checkpoint there.
  3. Sign a contract transferring their souls to Satan.
  4. Get the real location for the event, which was miles away.

I agree that by signing this document under any name, given or adopted, actual or pseudonymous, I am hereby avowing my soul to Satan (aka Abbadon, aka Lucifer, aka Beelzebub, aka The Antichrist). I do so knowing that He (aka The Fallen One, aka The Father of Lies) or any of His representatives may choose to collect my eternal soul at any time, with or without notice. I understand that my signature or mark representing any name, real or made up, upon these papers constitutes a lasting and eternal contract, and that there will be no further negotiations on the matter of my eternal soul.

I may need to add this to the stock DNA Lounge booking contract, right after the "Frisco" clause. Also a candidate: "Break a deal, face The Wheel".

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

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4 Responses:

  1. Nate says:

    The best thing about this is that it is bound for Arkansas. The Oklahoma Supreme Court correctly ruled that their 10 Commandments monument has to be removed, though their Attorney General has delayed things by asking the court to revisit the decision. (Is that legal?)

    http://www.tulsaworld.com/news/capitol_report/satanic-monument-headed-for-oklahoma-or-arkansas-to-be-unveiled/article_5c2ec8c3-880a-5a5b-b9da-973af6c31f87.html

    I envision this as a roving First Amendment defense, roaming the country to prevent the State from establishing any religion. Just goes to show that parody is truly effective.

  2. Otto says:

    I dunno. Should one ever go full Thunderdome?

  3. joe luser says:

    why is he making the cub scout sign? why?