Do not give the robot a sword, ok?

Samurai Murderbot Motoman-MH24

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Today in Mechanical Screensaver news:

Bruce Shapiro: Sisyphus

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Ferris Bueller took his Day Off 30 years ago today.

Alan Ruck (Cameron) also concurred, "But just for fun", he added, "I used to think why don't they wait until Matthew and I are in our seventies and do Ferris Bueller Returns and have Cameron be in a nursing home. He doesn't really need to be there, but he just decided his life is over, so he committed himself to a nursing home. And Ferris comes and breaks him out. And they go to, like, a titty bar and all this ridiculous stuff happens. And then, at the end of the movie, Cameron dies."

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Stormtrooper arrested

"I was just like, 'wow,'" said Jami Kelly, a concerned parent.

LYNN, Mass. (WHDH) - Students in Lynn were surprised by a man dressed as a Stormtrooper outside their school Wednesday, and the man is now facing charges. [...]

A man dressed up in an elaborate Star Wars Stormtrooper costume, complete with a black toy laser gun, appeared on the sidewalk moments before school was about to release.

"I honestly opened my screen window, stuck my head out the window, and I was just like, 'wow,'" Jami Kelly, a concerned parent.

With no clue who the man was or whether the gun was real, the principal delayed dismissal Wednesday until police arrived on the scene, unmasked the masked crusader, arrested him, and placed him in a police cruiser.

George Cross, 40, of Lynn, was arraigned on charges of disturbing a school in addition to violating a city ordinance of loitering within 1,000 feet of a school.

"I bought a costume, I was walking through the neighborhood showing friends, and then all that," said Cross as he left the courthouse.

"We just can't have things like that taking place in front of the school," said Lt. Rick Donnelly of the Lynn Police Department.

Police were not amused by Cross' costume caper, and neither were parents - especially, they said, in this day and age.

"What if it was just like a thing saying, 'oh it was for the kids,' but actually it was, like, something bad was going to happen, you never know," said Tanya Dietz.

"but actually it was, like, something bad was going to happen, you never know."

Truer words have never been spoken.

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The Fake Orca of Astoria has failed in his mission to end a plague of sea lions.

"Our crew from the port had to go rescue the operator so he didn't drown."

The fiber glass orca captivated the world as a solution to the growing number of sea lions who have taken over Astoria's docks, blocking locals from their boats. But when it finally launched this morning after engine trouble delayed its inaugural float, the once-proud fake orca, which was actually a boat with a man inside, was pushed over by the wake of a passing ship.

And he would have gotten away with it too if it hadn't been for you meddling kids.

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