Linty linty

I have spent the last few days down in the PHP Mines. Those fumes are really toxic. I'm pretty sure I've contracted pleurisy from inhaling Cheetos dust.

So DNA Lounge has an online store, which is an enormous, and ancient, and shitty, pile of PHP code. I have often characterized it as "it's a pile of shit, but it's our pile of shit."

Well, now that I'm opening a new nightclub, I need to make that code be able to function when installed on a domain whose name is not "dnalounge.com". As you can expect, this has been a process of discovering all kinds of hardcoded assumptions lurking in the bowels. It's like moving to a new house after you've been dug in for a decade: look at all this crap stuffed in the back of the closet that you didn't remember was there!

So there has been a lot of global search and replace, and a lot of variables being added and moved around, and that means destabilization, and that's bad, mmkay?

So I wrote a Perl program to do static analysis of PHP. And it parses PHP using regular expressions because fuck you that's why.

For your entertainment -- because I sincerely doubt that anyone who is not me will ever use this without lulz in their heart -- I give you jwz-php-lint.pl.

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GIF Keyboard

This app is going to make me intolerable:

It's an iOS keyboard that lets you communicate solely in animGIFs.

You have to agree to let it completely sodomize your input stack to install it, though, so I eagerly await the report about how it's phoning home every character you've ever typed.

"Uzani_his_army.gif! Shaka, when the lulz fell!"

Play him off, keyboard made of cats.

Incidentally,

The Unicode Blog: Unicode 9.0 Candidate Emoji:

The Unicode Consortium has accepted 38 emoji characters as candidates for Unicode 9.0, scheduled for release in mid-2016. [...] These emoji have been accepted as candidates for Unicode 9.0 for a variety of reasons. They may be needed for compatibility with emoji characters in existing systems. For example, the FACE WITH COWBOY HAT was accepted for compatibility with the emoji used in Yahoo Messenger.

CLOWN FACE
LYING FACE
CALL ME HAND
SELFIE
FACE PALM
CROISSANT
BACON
BATMAN

That all seems just so quaint now, doesn't it?

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