Being Framed Need Genetic Engineering Help

Being Framed Need Genetic Engineering Help

Posted: 2015-04-08 9:07am

compensation: Competitive

I am a billionaire who needs help creating a mouth wash.solution.gum with CRISPR-Cas9 containing viruses that will change specific genetic loci in my cheek epithelial cells to prevent a positive match against DNA found at the scene of a crime (my DNA was planted by a Doctor who is Doomed).

Skills Required

  • CRISPR-Cas9 engineering of mammalian epithelial cells
  • Experience in DNA forensics
  • Experience with Robotics
  • Between 5'9" and 6'0" in height and medium build in case I need you to wear a custom built "suit"
  • Must code in Python, Haha, joking, we will write everything in C and Assembly

Ph.D. preferred.
Non-Drinkers preferred (I am a recovering alcoholic)
EMT Certified preferred.

Please send CV.

do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers


Update: Explained.

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

Tags: , , , , ,

9 Responses:

  1. Pavel Lishin says:

    Between 5'9" and 6'0" in height and medium build in case I need you to wear a custom built "suit"

    It's really when you get to the quoted suit that you get Kriegeresque vibes.

  2. Ben says:

    'Between 5'9" and 6'0" in height and medium build in case I need to wear you as a custom built "suit"'

    • Sclatter says:

      You know, the CRISPR-Cas9 stuff is for real and works remarkably well. And is rumored to currently being used on humans (in China, natch). Though I can't imagine altering enough loci to foil modern forensics. #livinginthefuture

      • Call me Nerdly says:

        At least he didn't have to post this request when TALENs and zinc finger nucleases were the only available technologies. Then he'd have been boned.

  3. Buddy Casino says:

    Is this a Batman reference I don't get, or just random insanity? I'm perplexed.

  4. margaret says:

    god damned right the compensation is going to be competitive if you think you are going to lure me away from one of my other offers from framed billionaires looking to change their loci dna via gum.mouth wash.

  • Previously