Is there a version of Text::Diff::HTML that actually works?

Text::Diff often goes into a busy-loop when diffing files that have only a few lines of changes. How's that even possible? Why, it's because instead of running and parsing diff, they reimplemented diff themselves in Perl. Because reasons. Seriously, look at Algorithm::Diff -- it reads like it was literally someone's homework assignment.

I just want to take two text files and get side-by-side HTML/colored output of the differences. Is there something simple that works, or do I have Two Problems?

Update: Because you have all failed me, I wrote this.

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