"I started getting popular because of how few nitrates are in my stool? People wanted to know how I did it?"
"It's more like a lock-and-key mechanism, that employs your topographical anal handshake."
"To demonstrate that the images we are sending across state lines do not, in fact, constitute child pornography, we've brought in a registered sex offender and registered pedophile."
Twitter Shitter 2.0: