The Penney estate, devout cultists and owners of the multibillion-dollar chain of mid-range department stores, joined by CEO Mike Ullman, sued the government in 2012 when new federal employee protections made it illegal for them to hire virgin maidens for the sole purpose of spilling their blood on the Altar of the Cosmos, with the hope that such an offering will prolong the Great Old One's slumber in the sunken city of R'lyeh.[...]
"The majority's ruling sets a frightening precedent for our nation," Justice Sotomayor wrote in the dissent. "Would the court extend to the Tcho-Tcho people of Chaugnar Faugn the freedom of cannibalism, or grant commitment-free zoning permits to the Chesuncook Witch Coven for erecting their subterranean shoggoth pits? This ruling opens the door to such atrocities."
Supreme Court Rules JCPenney Allowed to Sacrifice Employees to Appease Cthulhu
"We see through the insignificance of your primitive ape society to the coming storm of insanity that is His rise."
Tags: big brother, corporations, doomed, tentacles