Hippo Nuts

This article starts off with:

Chances are you've never wondered how difficult it is to remove the testes of a hippopotamus.

Bitch, you don't know me.

Why It's Nearly Impossible to Castrate a Hippo:

The first challenge is that hippopotamuses hide their genitals. The testes are inside the body, instead of outside in a scrotum. (Other mammals in the internal-testes club, since you asked, include the armadillo, sloth, whale, and platypus.) This makes the hippo's testes totally invisible from the outside. Combined with a penis that the paper's authors describe as "discreet," it means it's hard to tell males from females at a distance. [...]

Even after finding the sneaky organs, the procedure wasn't simple. The depth of the testes' hiding places varied by as much as 16 inches from one hippo to the next. Everything had to be done deep inside the animal's body, making it hard to see what was going on. "Grasping the testicle with forceps proved laborious" in most of the animals, the authors write. They also mention using a "two-handed technique" and "moderate traction." The whole hour-and-a-half procedure, based on a method for castrating horses, is described in detail for anyone who wants to try it themselves.

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Doll Parts

Freya Jobbins:

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DNA Lounge: Wherein hell has frozen over.

The new pizza boxes are here! The new pizza boxes are here! The new pizza boxes are here!

I am unreasonably excited about this. They're so awesome you guys. I don't even.

It will be a few days before they start going out with deliveries, because we have a stack of plain white boxes to burn through first, but HOLY CRAP BLACK BOXES YOU GUYS! We've only been trying to make this happen since 2010.

You have probably heard that Red Devil Lounge recently closed. That makes me sad, because I saw a lot of great shows there, and it's always a bummer when we lose another live venue. But, I'm happy to report that these fine Red Devil Chairs now live on at DNA Pizza. They're much more comfortable than the chairs we had before.

It's a live music butt legacy or something.

Also: Sadly, our DNA Pizza restaurant manager has decided to move on, so we're looking for a new manager again. Please see our new CraigsList ad and pass it along to anyone you think might be interested!



Aganetha Dyck has been working with the industrious insects to create delicate sculptures using porcelain figurines, shoes, sports equipment, and other objects left in specially designed apiaries.

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Exterminate All Rational Testaments.

All work and no play makes King James a dull boy.

This is the "Well-Sorted Version", a Bible containing the complete text of the King James Version, alphabetized.

I wrote a program to read through the Bible and extract each letter in turn, preserving the order of lowercase and capital letters. The program then poured those sorted letters back into all the structure of books, chapters, verses, paragraphs, and words. [...]

Without the distraction of recognizable words, the structure of the Bible is laid bare. Books vary greatly in length and structure; from the dense early Old Testament, carrying through the brief Apocrypha, to the poetry of the New Testament.

The cover is leather with a hot foil stamped title. The pages are acid and lignen free so they won't yellow, and cleat sewn into the spine rather than glued. In short, the book is of archival quality. If stored in a consistently cool, dark, fairly dry place it should last a few dozen centuries.

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Bikinis on the Vomit Comet

A few days ago I had this conversation:

I really hope they never, ever remake Barbarella.
I can't even imagine how awful that would be.
Hate to break it to you...
Oh, they've been talking about it for decades.
It's inevitable.
And I will be studiously ignoring it.
Just like I plan to ignore whatever Katy Perry / Blade Runner atrocity is coming down the pipe.
Maybe they should just combine those two!
*wet regurgitative sounds*
"We've got 4 skin jobs on the loose. Their leader is Durand Durand."
bad touch
"I need the old magic, Barbarella. I need the old Babe Runner."
you're sick.

And then this happened:

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Music video tricks

I recently saw a couple of cool music videos that aren't really mixtapable, since they use some interesting tech tricks. (The songs aren't that great, but the presentations are cool!)

This Young Rival video is a 3D movie done as moving random-dot stereograms. It pretty much only works if you full-screen it, or get your nose right up against the glass. It's probably impossible to see on a phone. They made it with a Kinect. I'm curious about what the limitations are here. Is the chunkiness of the models because of the scanner, or because the "pixels" have to be large for the stereogram trick to work? Does it have to be black and white because color would spoil the illusion? Also, I wonder if you could encode two different videos in here at once, depending on which focus spots your eyes locked on.

This Night Bus video lets you move a slider left and right to see two different versions of the video. The cool part is that it also changes the audio mix proportionally: all the way to the left and you hear more of the girl's voice, and vice versa:

It's hard for me to watch this, though, because I always wonder what I'm missing in the other one. (I'm also the kind of person who read text-adventure books from start to finish.)

A few years ago Rihanna released a video in two versions, one all goth and one all kawaii, shot on the same set, that would have benefitted from this treatment. (Some people put together side-by-side edits of it.) There are a lot of videos out there where there are multiple versions with censorship edits, or extended versions, or alternate endings, or movie-sountrack scenes dropped in, but it's rare for the versions to be both different and similar enough for panning to be interesting.

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