Scenes from LA's growing magician problem.

12-19-12, LOS ANGELES:

New graffiti was found at LA's George Carlin High School today marking a new height in the occult graffiti epidemic that plagues the city. Said LA Police Commissioner Crowley, "They say the chalk washes away but that's not the problem here. The issue is that these sigils are made by amateur occultists who don't always know what they're doing. They mean to mark their ethereal turf but several of these alignments are capable of awakening Samael."

Samael, last seen slaughtering the first born sons of Egypt, could not be reached for comment. We at FIMJU wanted more expert testimony however so we invited the mummified head of Necromancer John Dee from its tomb in England for an interview. Said the archetypical wizard, "Where am I? Why hast thou awakened me? Oh how I long to return to the sweet embrace of death, for my every moment awake is an eternity of pain!"

Troubling words indeed.

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5 Responses:

  1. MattF says:

    Is anyone troubled by the fact that the author of this item gets his own acronym wrong? Facts I Made Just Up? Jeezy-peazy.

  2. nice. always a pain, when Samael wakes but gets all confused like that.

  3. Kyle Chan says:

    made by kids who watch a lot of anime and the police doesn't get it.

  4. nooj says:

    "Once again, the LAPD is asking Los Angelenos not to fire their guns at the visitor spacecraft. You may inadvertently trigger an interstellar war."

  5. ZeD says:

    Fullmetal alchemist anyone? They are definitely transmutation circles...

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