Dear Japanese people, please stop exploring your eyeballs. It's freaking us out.

Eyeball Licking Causing Pinkeye In Japan

Eye experts are worried that this dangerous fad is gaining popularity with preteens, especially after news reports of elementary school students in Japan who dared to test their ocular boundaries and caused multiple cases of pinkeye.

In one classroom of 12-year-olds, one third of students confessed to "worming" or being "wormed." Officials only noticed something was up when some of the licked students showed up to school wearing eyepatches. [...]

"I got some weird offshoot of TB in my eye once. I ended up with corneal ulcers and I spent like a month in the hospital," she said. "Nobody really knows why. Well, I got over it, and I'm fine now. That was like six years ago.

"I'm just safer now, I guess ... Live and learn. I mean they don't really make tongue rubbers, but maybe they should."

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8 Responses:

  1. haha says:

    Is ass to eyeball the new saddlebacking?

  2. Joe says:

    "I mean they don't really make tongue rubbers, but maybe they should."

    Yeah... no shit!

  3. Erbo says:

    I've said it before, I'll say it again: We are not nearly afraid enough of the Japanese.

  4. Mike says:

    Is there any reason other than our desire to have the Japanese fit into some crazy Gibsonian future-vision, to believe this is true?

      • Anonymous says:

        I think I've read that dōjinshi. If it's John K Pe-ta (no, not that John K.) then yes, I have, and recommend his works for anyone who has an interest in what sex would be like if everyone was super-stretchy.

        Like, fists in women up to their elbows stretchy. I believe in one memorable scene a woman gives a man a hand-job while his dick is in her vagina by sticking her hand up her ass and grabbing her womb.