DNA Lounge: Wherein SFPD is still going surveillance-nutty.

We got a funny phone call today, and by "funny" I mean "not actually even a little funny."

Officer Chan, the permitting officer for SFPD, called to remind us that we're required to have video surveillance that records everything our customers do, and to give that footage to SFPD any time they ask, without a warrant or explanation. "Actually, that's not the case, I'm not required to do that," says Barry. "It's a part of the Good Neighbor Policy," says the cop. "No, actually, it's not. And it's also not a condition of our permits."

"Well! I guess I'll have to speak to the Entertainment Commission about that, then!"

Thirty minutes later, Barry got a call from this guy's boss, admitting that while we're not technically required to, we really, really should "consider" it. After some back and forth, he says, "Should I take from this conversation that you're not willing to consider this?" "We have considered it, which is why we fought to have that condition not put on our permits."

Someone from the Entertainment Commission said, "Yeah, it's really weird that you don't have that condition, because they're putting that on everybody's permits now. Nobody else has fought it."

Which isn't surprising, since apparently everyone who works for SFPD is going around telling everyone that it's required by law when that's not even remotely true. It's just another sneaky, backdoor regulation that ABC and SFPD have been foisting on everyone without any kind of judicial oversight, in flagrant violation of the Fourth Amendment.

Remember, they tried to get this written into the law back in 2010 and got their asses handed to them, so instead they've just been making it a condition of every new permit ever since. Because they think that they get to just make up laws, all on their own.

Dear bar owners: you do not have to put up with this extrajudicial bullshit.

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The 6 Most Terrifying Sex Illustrations on Wikipedia

Somebody get this guy a gallery show at Wicked Grounds, stat.

Look at that lady's face. I'm sorry, nobody in the history of fisting -- whether fistee or fister -- has ever made that damn face. That's a beatific expression reserved for occasions like "a new delivery of wainscoting" or "a perfectly seasoned shepherd's pie" or "the third consecutive 67-degree day this week" -- not "becoming your own human hand puppet." This picture belongs on the album cover for Pure Moods for Fisting. (Also, what's up with the blue background? It's like a lazy day in the Fortress of Solitude.)

Media in category "Sex drawings by User:Seedfeeder".

It may not surprise you to learn that the Wikipedia entry for Godzilla Bukkake just redirects to Crooked Little Vein.

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Veti-Gel

Mmmm, pork loin.

"In all of our tests we found we were able to immediately stop bleeding," says Landolina. "Your skin has this thing called the extracellular matrix," he explains. "It's kind of a mesh of molecules and sugars and protein that holds your cells in place."

Landolina synthesises his own extracellular matrix (ECM) using plant polymers, which can form a liquid when broken up into pieces. He says, "So it goes into the wound and the pieces of the synthetic ECM in the gel will recognise the pieces of the real ECM in the wound and they'll link together. It will re-assemble into something that looks like, feels like and acts like skin."

Interestingly, Veti-Gel doesn't just stop bleeding but seems to initiate the healing process. "It works in three ways," says Landolina. "The first way is it works as a tissue adhesive," he explains. "It actually holds its own pressure onto the wound so you don't have to do it. Secondly, when it touches the blood, it does something called activating Factor 12."

This activates fibrin, which is the polymer you need to make a blood clot, explains Landolina. "Finally, it activates platelet cells." The gel causes these to bind to the fibrin, causing a tight seal. Landolina says the speed at which this process happens is what triggers the healing process. "We don't have all the testing to back it up yet -- but it should allow it to heal faster over time," he says.

He says, "The gel is what we call a platform technology, it's very biocompatible -- your body recognises it, and you can mix just about anything into it. We're doing tests to see if we can actually make it work for healing wounds that won't heal by adding in therapeutics or drugs; you can put antibiotics into it, you can put just about anything you want into it."

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EL Paint

Certain of my friends are already jizzing themselves over this. Stop it you guys. I can hear you fapping from here.

"The LumiLor electroluminescent coating system is a patent-pending, practical, durable and affordable technology that can be illuminated with a simple electrical current. Used in conjunction with simple driver electronics, LumiLor will illuminate any surface brightly, and is capable of being custom-animated to flash in sequenced, strobed, and sound activated modes. LumiLor can be applied to practically any surface: metal, wood, fiberglass and plastics. LumiLor can be applied to any variety of shapes, including compound curves to form a truly conformal electroluminescent coating." Video.

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Load Transfer

Workers have successfully completed load transfer, which shifted the bridge's weight from the temporary supports to the main cable. The weight of the bridge is supported by the single, nearly 1-mile long main cable.

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Rich Kids of Instagram

"They have more money than you and this is what they do."

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Penis snatching, they said, was a means of supplying an illicit and lucrative trade in organs.

Africa's genital-stealing crime wave hits the countryside

Cameroonians and Nigerians -- people from places "where they have multistory buildings" -- were seen as particularly well versed in the business. "You see how advanced Cameroon is?" someone said. "It's because they are so strong in commerce of all kinds, including in genitals and scalps." The stolen organs, my companions said, are sold to occult healers for use in ceremonies, or else they are quickly fenced back to victims of penis snatching for a price. But the real money was to be made in Europe. One man who had spent some time living in Cameroon said he had heard of a woman there who was nabbed by airport security while trying to smuggle several penises to the Continent inside a baguette.

I asked the town doctor what he thought. Could he help the victims? He shook his head slowly -- as if trying to gauge how much I believed about the whole affair -- and then responded, "Western medicine is no match for this magic. It is a mysterious thing."

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"Real falcons out of slightly-doctored chickens."

Stewart Brand on the state-of-the-art in de-extinction. I hadn't realized it was so far along.

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