"Cestodacentrism: Welcome to the Fermi paradox, mired in shit."

Tapeworm Logic

Our tapeworm-philosopher gets its teeth into the subject. Given that the human is so clearly designed to be hospitable to tapeworm-kind, then it follows that if there are more humans, other humans out there beyond the anus, then they, too, must be hospitable to tapeworm-kind. Tapeworm-kind has become aware of itself existing in the human; it is logical to assume that if other humans exist then there must be other tapeworms, and if travel between humans is possible -- and we infer that it might be, from the disappearance of our egg sacs through the anus of the human -- then sooner or later humans interacting in the broader universe might exchange eggs from these hypothetical alien tapeworms, in which case, visitors! Because the human was already here before we became self-aware, it clearly existed for a long time before us. So if there are many humans, there has been a lot of time for the alien tapeworm-visitors to reach us. So where are they?

[...] In reality, the human is unaware of the existence of the tapeworm. This would be a good thing, from the worm's point of view, if it had any grasp of the broader context of its existence: it ought by rights to be doing the wormy equivalent of hiding under the bed covers, gibbering in fear. [...] There are vast, ancient, alien intellects in the macrocosm beyond the well-known human, and they are unsympathetic to tapeworms. Intrepid tapeworm cosmonauts seeking to make their way beyond the anus and across the universe to colonize other humans are in for a rough ride indeed, for they are intimately evolved to thrive in one particular environment, and that environment (the mammalian gut) is sparsely distributed throughout the universe. Much of the cosmos is inherently hostile to tapeworms. This is why tapeworms have not, in fact, colonized the universe and converted all available biomass into a constantly spawning Gordian knot of Platyhelminthic life.

The comments are good, too:

  • "Ringularity"
  • "Arsetronaut"
  • "Unbounded meta-gut"
  • "Anuses all the way down"

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

Tags: , , , ,


Fun fact: every single time I'm on my bike at an intersection waiting for the light to change and I see one of these:

As soon as the countdown reaches 5, this song starts playing in my head:

Specifically, the sample from this movie:




That song came out in 1992. I bicycle a lot, and there are a lot of crosswalks in this city. I figure that the crosswalks have earwormed me with this song somewhere in the neighborhood of 20,000 times by now.

It's not even one of my favorite songs. I mean, it's ok I guess.

Tags: , , , , , ,

San Francisco as Howl's Moving Castle. With balls.

One man, 100,000 toothpicks, and 35 years: An incredible kinetic sculpture of San Francisco

Thirty five years ago artist Scott Weaver had already begun work on this insanely complex kinetic sculpture, Rolling through the Bay, that he continues to modify and expand even today. The elaborate sculpture is comprised of multiple "tours" that move pingpong balls through neighborhoods, historical locations, and iconic symbols of San Francisco, all recreated with a little glue, some toothpicks, and an incredible amount of ingenuity.

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

Tags: , , ,

  • Previously