You may have heard the rumour that I use human teeth. This may in fact be the only reason you have visited my shop. Shame on you. This is a TERRIBLE LIE put out by my ENEMIES in the cut throat PLUSH COMMUNITY. Those missing people have nothing to do with me. Any such allegations, or repetition of such allegations, will be dealt with swiftly and aggressively by my solicitor.
Mrs McGettrick thanks you for your understanding in this matter. Please buy a Fuggler. Buy two - keep one for a spare in case the first one mysteriously vanishes in the night, leaving behind only a note and pile of entrails, stacked like an abandoned game of jenga.