About 2 years ago, I was a janitor at the Centre Kmart. I went about my janitor duties and swept out the bathroom- The womens' room I might add.. and my broom caught a hold of something heavy behind the toilet..
I swept it out and found out that it was a sock. With my gloved hand, I picked up the sock, curious as to why the sock was so heavy... I wish I never did do that.. for I looked inside and, sure enough!.. there was a turd in that sock.
I've got to know.. this has been bothering me for 2 years now. I still wonder why.. and how.. shit got in that sock.
Did you get into the bathroom stall and think to yourself.. "Do I really want to shit in this public toilet, or.. oh hey! I have this comfortable sock I could shit into instead!" -and just hold that sock up to your ass and go for it?
If this is so- and you were able to hold that up to your ass and successfully bag that shit- then I applaud you for executing such a task- and also for doing one of the most disgusting, confusing things I've ever seen in my young life...
What happened in that stall that possessed you to do such a vile, horrid thing? You've left me in sheer wonderment for quite some time and I just have to know now. It is time to fess up. Please help my mind be at peace.
To the person who shit in a sock at Kmart.. - w4w
To the person who shit in a sock at Kmart.. - w4w
Tags: perversions, poop, pranks
18 Responses:
I can sort of see why this was categorised as "missed connections", but still, that's pretty wrong.
We're all just looking for the right sock to shit in, aren't we?
This is from a place in NE Alabama. I'm about an hour away and shocked, shocked I say that someone from the butt scratch corner of Alabama shat in a sock.
I feel like this is part of a folk saying in another dimension. "well, that's a sock full of shit", or "you really shat in your sock this time".
Ahoy stranger,
I have come to visit your interblag from another dimension in order to share our culture.
Please return to your dimension and take all the shit-filled socks and culture with you.
No no you're doing it wrong, it's "Put a sock in it," not the other way around.
Maybe they were training to be an the astronaut program (see Packing for Mars)
How far was it from Redstone?
When designing a our new store my brother sat down with the bathroom design folks and laid out two requirements: 1) The toilets must be able to flush a disposable diaper, and 2) The materials must be sturdy enough to withstand a power washer.
They looked him like he was nuts. Nobody had ever asked for such things, they told him. He raised his hand and said, "Anybody else here been cleaning a public restroom for 15 years?"
I wonder where the DNA bathrooms fall on the pressure-washer durability scale...
Here we go.
Hrm, I don't that sock shitter had their pocket poo guide handy.
cfs
As a former janitor, I'd be thankful they didn't try to flush it.
What the fuckety fuck, this is a phrase/PRIOR ART:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/south-postpones-rising-again-for-yet-another-year,377/
("...just as soon as we get together and get all our shit back in one sock.")
Years before I began studying pushdown automata at my local public university, I was a cleaner. Not a janitor - janitor is a title in this world, kind of like a sergeant or lieutenant. I was a cleaner, more like a private.
It was an office building with security at the front door. But we would find porno mags in the stalls - and the pages would stick together. I was wearing gloves, but still. We would clean when everyone went home, starting at 6 PM. Who the hell brings a porno mag into the stalls and starts wacking off in the middle of the day while they're working? Obviously this was a few years ago, I guess guys wack off to their iPhones nowadays.
Who the hell leaves a sticky porno mag in a stall? If it was that good, keep it...
And how do you propose peeling the pages back apart?
If she swallowed, this wouldn't be a problem.