Some micro-reviews! I'm behind on these because I pretty much don't see movies in theatres any more.

Prometheus: I'm pretty sure I've scraped better science fiction off of my shoe. What a meandering, pointless waste of time. When a movie opens with both the tropes of "Daddy Issues" and "Scientist Who Wears a Cross", you should just turn it off right then.

Avengers: Not bad. Better than Iron Man 2, not as good as Iron Man 1, and let's just pretend that the execrable Thor didn't even exist. (Also this.)

Paul: Surprisingly funny! I really thought this was going to be a shitshow, but it wasn't bad. Far, far less reliance on dick jokes than expected.

Attack the Block: Now this was a shitshow. Every character was despicable. I liked this better when it was called Leprechaun in the Hood.

Chronicle: This was surprisingly good! Teens get superpowers from alien goo and cope with it badly. But it's yet another one of those movies where I spend half the time trying to figure out how nobody has referenced the concept of "superhero" even once, and trying to figure out whether I'm supposed to believe that this is a world just like ours but that doesn't have comic books, or what. See also Alphas.

The Innkeepers: A ghost story where a couple of slackers fancy themselves ghost hunters, but unlike Chronicle they've heard all about ghosts from TV, so their reactions are very believable. They were a couple of dumbasses, but believable dumbasses.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows: I enjoyed the first one, but I gave up on this disgrace about 40 minutes in. Complete crap.

Oh, Elementary, the new American Holmes show, is also despicable. I couldn't make it through the first episode. It's just a fucking cop show, and the writing is insultingly bad, e.g., the first non-recurring-character who speaks is the one who did it. Watch the BBC Sherlock instead, because it is fantastic.

Jekyll: I was hearing some "People who liked Sherlock also liked" rumblings about this, but it's dumb. The first few episodes were ok, until I realized that the explanation for everything was going to be "It's magic!" Feh.

Hunger Games: Not bad I guess, but I fail to understand why anyone who hadn't read the book would give a shit about this. Why do they keep writing screenplays this way? "Here's another character with two total minutes of screen time, but the musical cue says that you were supposed to have given a shit about them!" It is actually possible to write a movie based on a book that works for people who haven't read the book, you know. (Haven't read it, don't care to.)

Haywire: Probably the best spy movie I've seen since the first Bourne Identity. The action sequences were fantastic, and mostly shot with a stationary camera and no quick cuts, which is just so refreshing.

Men in Black 3: It was cute. And far, far better than Prometheus, which I watched on the same night.

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengance: You know what, this was also better than Prometheus. It made more sense and I gave more of a shit about the characters. We call this "damning with faint praise". But it would have been awesome if they had left off the flame effects and just had Cage in whiteface with glowsticks on his head: 1:58.

John Carter: Ok, finally, here is a movie that was worse than Prometheus. Actually it might have been worse than Wild Wild West, too. Did John Carter include a giant spider? I can't even remember.

Bellflower: Imagine if Bodies, Rest and Motion had less likable characters who were obsessed with muscle cars and flamethrowers, and violent dream sequences. It was interesting, but overall, not that great.

The Whisperer in Darkness: The second movie from the H. P. Lovecraft Historical Society, this one's a "talkie", done in a very convincing 30s/40s style. Their silent version of The Call of Cthulhu is better -- and is the best Lovecraft adaptation I've ever seen -- but Whisperer is very good, too.

Pickman's Muse: Another low budget Lovecraft adaptation. It's slow. I'd skip it.