jwz: Oct 2012

80,000 lbs. of walnuts stolen by Mysterious Russian Giant

It's unclear what episode of Leverage this is.

Two companies who recently bought walnuts from Tehama County each reported around 40,000 pounds of the processed nuts stolen in the last two weeks, and deputies are searching for a suspicious delivery driver with a Russian accent who they say is behind it all.
Employees told sheriff's deputies that the driver of a white semi with a Russian accent picked up the load on Oct. 19. The walnuts were purchased by F.C. Bloxom and Co., a Seattle-based company, and to be delivered to Miami.
While investigating the strange report, deputies found out a man who matched the description of that delivery driver had picked up an order of 40,000 walnuts from Los Molinos on Oct. 23 that were supposed to be taken to Texas, deputies said.
In both cases, the driver is described as about 6 feet, 2 inches, and weighing 198 pounds, and he's said to speak with a "very distinctive Russian accent," deputies said. The man somehow got the correct purchase numbers to show the companies in order to pull off the theft, they said.
Altogether, the stolen walnuts are said to be worth just under $300,000, deputies said.

There's only one possible explanation.

Incidentally, there does not appear to be a Global Strategic Walnut Reserve.

Previously.

9 Comments

Tags: conspiracies, heist, mutants

Oakland chief filtered out Occupy e-mail

11 years ago

Occupy my spam folder, you hippies:

People who've e-mailed Oakland Police Chief Howard Jordan over the past year about Occupy Oakland probably didn't get much of a response.
That's because he used a spam filter to dismiss messages sent to him with "Occupy Oakland" in the subject line, according to a federal court filing Monday. Same goes for the phrases "stop the excessive police force," "respect the press pass" or "police brutality." Instead of landing in his in-box, those messages went straight into his junk mail folder, which he apparently never looked at.
Because of those filters, Jordan missed e-mails from other city officials and a federal court monitor, who oversees the department's compliance with court-ordered reforms stemming from a police abuse scandal.
Robert Warshaw, the monitor, had sent Jordan an e-mail with the subject line "Disciplinary Actions-Occupy Oakland." Jordan told the court on Oct. 18 that he never saw those e-mails, infuriating Thelton Henderson, the federal judge in San Francisco who appointed Warshaw.
Henderson will hear arguments in December about whether to place the Police Department into the hands of a federal receiver, which Oakland officials believe is unprecedented. Henderson was perplexed as to why Jordan could be missing such vital messages and on Oct. 18 ordered the city to investigate. [...]
"It was never my intention to ignore the monitor," Jordan said in his declaration.

"I only intended to ignore the public!"

6 Comments

Tags: big brother, sf, spam

Open Wireless Movement

11 years ago

Don't be a jerk, open your wifi. (Here's how.)

The Open Wireless Movement is a coalition of Internet freedom advocates, companies, organizations, and technologists working to develop new wireless technologies and to inspire a movement of Internet openness. We are aiming to build technologies that would make it easy for Internet subscribers to portion off their wireless networks for guests and the public while maintaining security, protecting privacy, and preserving quality of access.

15 Comments

Tags: big brother, computers

R'lyeh as time-dilated hyperbolic spacetime bubble

11 years ago

Possible Bubbles of Spacetime Curvature in the South Pacific (PDF).

We contend that all of the credible phenomena which Johansen described may be explained as being the observable consequences of a localized bubble of spacetime curvature. Many of his most incomprehensible statements (involving the geometry of the architecture, and variability of the location of the horizon) can therefore be said to have a unified underlying cause.
We calculate the type of matter which would be required to generate such exotic spacetime curvature. Unfortunately, we determine that the required matter is quite unphysical, and possess a nature which is entirely alien to all of the experiences of human science. Indeed, any civilization with mastery over such matter would be able to construct warp drives, cloaking devices, and other exotic geometries required to conveniently travel through the cosmos.

Previously, previously, previously, previously.

4 Comments

Tags: doomed, mad science, space, tentacles, zalgo

Chinese Powdered Baby Flesh Pills: Adulterated.

11 years ago

South Korea says it will increase customs inspections targeting capsules containing powdered human flesh.

The Korea Customs Service said it had found almost 17,500 of the capsules being smuggled into the country from China since August 2011.
The powdered flesh, which officials said came from dead babies and foetuses, is reportedly thought by some to cure disease and boost stamina. But officials said the capsules were full of bacteria and a health risk.
"It was confirmed those capsules contain materials harmful to the human body, such as super bacteria. We need to take tougher measures to protect public health," a customs official was quoted as saying by the Korea Times.
Ministry spokesman Deng Haihua, quoted at the time in China Daily, said China had "strict management of disposal of infant and foetal remains as well as placentas".

Previously, previously.

2 Comments

Tags: doomed, parts, perversions, zombies

Current Music: Garbage -- Blood for Poppies ♬

Travis Shrugged

11 years ago

Travis Shrugged: The creepy, dangerous ideology behind Silicon Valley's Cult of Disruption

The pro-Disruption argument goes like this: In a digitally connected age, there's absolutely no need for public carriage laws (or hotel laws, or food safety laws, or... or...) because the market will quickly move to drive out bad actors. If an Uber driver behaves badly, his low star rating will soon push him out of business.
It's a compelling message but also one with dire potential consequences for public safety, particularly for those who can't afford to take a $50 cab ride to Whole Foods.

I do enjoy any smackdown of Randites, and reading a Travis quote about how awesome it would be if a bunch of billionaires would go "on strike" to teach California some kind of lesson makes me want to delete the Uber app from my phone immediately.

On the other hand, the taxi situation in San Francisco is so useless and despicably corrupt that it's hard not to see this in the light of "the enemy of my enemy is my friend." If the Taxi Commission is against it, it can't be anything but good, right?

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

22 Comments

Tags: big brother, corporations, firstperson, sf, sprawl

Current Music: Fuzzbox -- Rules and Regulations ♬

We've Got a Fuzzbox and We're All Going to Die.

11 years ago

Well, this is depressing:

Jo Dunne of Fuzzbox Dies Aged 43.

Jo Dunne, the guitarist of Birmingham punk band We've Got A Fuzzbox And We're Gonna Use It!!, has died aged 43.
The singer died from cancer in the city's St Mary's Hospice on Friday night.

I loved this band. Their first album, Bostin' Steve Austin, was just fantastic. They took a much poppier turn on the second album (once they graduated high school) but that first one was great.

My favorites of their videos: