Oh PostScript, you so crazy

Our cash register just vomited out about a mile of this.

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30 Responses:

  1. Jeremy Wilson says:

    Your computer wrecking force field continues to haunt you in the beer-selling business.

    • Edouard says:

      I think the US govt should weaponize Jamie, as he represents the their best hope against the PRC in the forthcoming cyber wars.

      “攻击其核设施!”

      “妈的,我的屏幕保护程序已坠毁我的打印机驱动程序。”

  2. Chris Davies says:

    All work and no play makes cash register a dull boy.

  3. A.X. Ian says:

    It's your cash register doing Slam Poetry.

    Respect

  4. Ian Young says:

    Is there some part of you--some small part--that wants to scan that all in to see what it does?

  5. Ewen McNeill says:

    I love how you carefully folded to the front the endless "Pscript_Win_Basic" resource definitions, most of which probably aren't even used (left), and the "this job requires more memory than is available in the printer" text (right) before photographing it.

    It's been a couple of years since I've seen a printer vomit raw Postscript. Character wrapped to cash register tape does make it look more impressive.

    Ewen

  6. Joe says:

    Will make great toilet paper.

  7. Not too late to get on board with the Kickstarter mPrinter project... (I think it looks pretty good and decided to back it.)

    • jwz says:

      That's the stupidest god damned waste of paper and effort that I've seen since the last time they handed me a mile of bullshit coupons at Safeway.

      • For printing weather reports and Sudoku puzzles, yes, I agree. But as a receipt printer -- which is how I intend on using it -- I think it could be a nice alternative to a mile of Postscript turds.

        • Tim says:

          Patrick, I suspect you may not understand where you are. You have made a wrong turn. This place you find yourself in is a place of grim meathook futures, and parts. It is a place which attracts, like flies to a rotting corpse, the sort of person who cannot read that Kickstarter page without mentally tossing the buzzword salad into a more entertaining (and therefore more useful) form:

          "The mPrinter is dynamic snippets of fully open source custom hosted data utilizing new life of the web with a controllable realtime Facebook RGB LED Javascript API parsing sandboxed Node.js environment."

          More to the point, what on earth leads you to believe that jwz's cash register is capable of speaking buzzwordese to that worthless piece of shit? It doesn't even correctly support its target platform: the stupid bastard is literally making an iPhone printer which doesn't speak fucking AirPrint.

          But hey, you'll be able to print dynamic snippets of information called "mPrints"! Totally worth it. Won't be useless in any way at all.

          • It didn't occur to me that jwz's register wasn't some home brew system with a bunch of elaborate Perl scripts that generate a custom PostScript application that gets written to the serial port. In retrospect, I see my message was the equivalent of the poor souls who go onto the OpenBSD mailing list to ask why CVS is still used instead of git and GitHub or why Sendmail is still the default MTA.

            I honestly didn't even notice all the buzzword fluff on the page; I just saw a little, 200 dpi thermal printer with a wifi interface and open source firmware for a pretty reasonable price. A friend of mine whose wife owns a salon just discovered that the shitty but expensive thermal printer they have doesn't have any drivers except for Windows, and he's now got to replace with with a nearly identical shitty thermal printer from the same company just to get it to work on their new, Mac-based system. My wife is opening a retail business, and I'm aiming to have something setup that avoids the incredibly expensive and fong kong world that is retail equipment. Maybe this mPrint will be useless, but I'm willing to give it a try for a $125 to avoid getting locked into some awesome-and-not-wasteful-at-all system that may or may not print a mile of PostScript commands instead of a simple receipt. If you can get past how this thing is being marketed (and I agree it's ridiculous) and look at the device itself, I don't think it's so bad. At the very least, it's not any more a worthless piece of shit than what JWZ has. And I'm fairly confident his cost more. But, to each his own...

            • Tim says:

              I did try to look at the device itself, and so far as I can tell what he's proposing to build is an off the shelf print mechanism stuck inna box with a battery, a homebrew controller, and buzzword compliant firmware. You'll experience a form of lockin -- you'll be locked into writing your own firmware which speaks useful protocols, and print drivers for your operating system of choice.

              I say this because, from the available evidence, it sure doesn't look like the Kickstarter project dude is going to be doing any of that boring, tedious print protocol or page description language stuff. He just wants to make a toy which you can tickle from a webapp and his supar awesum dynamic snippet website, because that's what's easy and fun. And he wants you to fund it.

              oh, the glory of kickstarter.

        • It’s like the Berg Little Printer, re-imagined by someone who has a closet full of surplus Cue Cats.

      • M.E. says:

        My analogy is that Kickstarter is the new As Seen On TV.

        I would contribute $10-20 to a website consisting solely of angry rants about stupid Kickstarter projects (in return for a T-shirt).

  8. Andres says:

    Hopefully a Postscript Receipt Vomit screensaver is in the works.

  9. Tim says:

    A PostScript receipt printer? The world has gone mad.

    But then, I knew this already.

    • Ian says:

      On one hand, yes, a PostScript receipt printer is proof that Dark Star's 'computing power is so cheap, let's make disposable items - like bombs - sentient' plot point will be one of the most accurate bits of SF prediction

      But it's also incredibly neat. Somewhere I have a 1980s book that says that PostScript printers will never ever cost less than $5k because of how much processing power is needed.

  10. phuzz says:

    The only thing worse than a receipt printer, is a label printer.
    I've just spent three days trying to un-fuck a bunch of machines that used a firefox plugin to provide access to the printer setup via javascript.
    I can only assume that there was no documentation, because everyone that had ever dealt with it in the past had either erased if from their memory with sweet, sweet alcohol, or just been committed to the local asylum before they could write it up.

    I chose booze.

    • hattifattener says:

      If you find you have any liver left over and would like to finish the job, I recommend trying to get a badge printer to work.

      • Rob says:

        Oh jesus. Card printers.

        Theory: the smaller and/or thicker the material being printed on, the more fucked the printer driver situation will be.

  11. mdr says:

    That reminds me of when I worked in a printer room back in the 90s. Some of the grad students had their accounts configured to send to one of the line printers by default. This resulted in a 2" thick tome of postscript being produced when someone tried to print from Mozilla.

  12. Anthony says:

    Every once in a while, one of the printers at work will do that, and I get to take home another half-ream of drawing paper for my 5-year-old daughter.

  13. Leonardo Herrera says:

    Wow. Computers do hate you.