A Speculative List Of Jay-Z's 99 Problems

This list seems 99% accurate.

28. Worries re: porn addiction.
29. Extreme fear of spiders.
34. Increasing trouble accepting the true existence of `authenticity,' of which his identity has been largely based.
35. Still unable to get through Joyce's Ulysses; currently on his fourth attempt; contributes to an insecurity that holds he's "not good enough" and "not intellectual."
41. Current income seems `weak' compared to the GNP of the US, other Western powers.
52. Confusion regarding how frequent one should use Q-tips to remove earwax, due to information he read that stated, more or less, that Q-tips were damaging because earwax had specific, important functions to ear health and bodily orientation and that the removal of earwax simply stimulated the production of more earwax, rendering Q-tip usage asinine.
63. Worries about experience of no sense of `place' or `home'; feelings of belonging `nowhere,' esp. in regard to American and European cities which lead to a sort of uncanny experience of `floating' and meaninglessness at each house purchased.
64. Trouble choosing NFL team to root for as a cause of the feeling described above.
67. Chapped lips.
68. A growing sense of lactose intolerance.
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2 Responses:

  1. James says:

    "66. Repeated worries regarding the end of industrial society via peak oil videos on YouTube, related literature."

    One down, 98 to go.

  2. M.E. says:

    Very D.F.W.-ish.