Kenny the Clown of Alameda, pictured here in a photo that will haunt our dreams later, became the accidental owner of an iPad belonging to the late Apple CEO. The purloined tablet came in to Kenny's nimble, balloon-shaping hands after his friend Kareim McFarlin robbed the Jobs residence in Palo Alto last month.

As if this story weren't already weird enough Kenny, who may or may not be available for birthday parties, bar mitzvahs and corporate events, once ran for mayor of San Francisco back in 2007. His platform at the time apparently consisted of wanting to play basketball with Gavin Newsom. [...]

The clown says he only had the iPad for three or four days before the cops came looking for the boosted Apple product. When cops revealed the identity of the previous owner, Kenny still couldn't believe the story, telling the press, "If this thing weren't so tragic, it would be comical."

(I think those words do not mean what you think they mean.)