Spermatorrhoea means involuntary loss of semen, although the rings were also intended to prevent voluntary discharges from masturbation or Onanism. The ring was placed at the base of the penis and fasted with a screw such that any engorgement of the organ would meet with the teeth of the ring and arrest the process.
"Uh oh. Semen."
Pro tip: Set your default ring tone to something quiet, and use a louder custom ring tone for anyone you might actually want to receive a voice call from.
Update, May 14: Hah! I spoke too soon, they're still calling!
Unlike some other scientists engaged in geoengineering, Eisenberger is not bothered by the notion of tinkering with nature. "We have devised a system that introduces no additional threats into the environment,'' he told me. "And the idea of interfering with benign nature is ridiculous. The Bambi view of nature is totally false. Nature is violent, amoral, and nihilistic. If you look at the history of this planet, you will see cycles of creation and destruction that would offend our morality as human beings. But somehow, because it's `nature,' it's supposed to be fine.'' [...]
The most environmentally sound approach to geoengineering is the least palatable politically. "If it becomes necessary to ring the planet with sulfates, why would you do that all at once?'' Ken Caldeira asked. "If the total amount of climate change that occurs could be neutralized by one Mt. Pinatubo, then doesn't it make sense to add one per cent this year, two per cent next year, and three per cent the year after that?'' he said. "Ramp it up slowly, throughout the century, and that way we can monitor what is happening. If we see something at one per cent that seems dangerous, we can easily dial it back. But who is going to do that when we don't have a visible crisis? Which politician in which country?''
Unfortunately, the least risky approach politically is also the most dangerous: do nothing until the world is faced with a cataclysm and then slip into a frenzied crisis mode. The political implications of any such action would be impossible to overstate. What would happen, for example, if one country decided to embark on such a program without the agreement of other countries? Or if industrialized nations agreed to inject sulfur particles into the stratosphere and accidentally set off a climate emergency that caused drought in China, India, or Africa?
If this sounds apocalyptic, it is. This is why we need to reduce emissions dramatically. President Obama has the power not only to deny tar sands oil additional access to Gulf Coast refining, which Canada desires in part for export markets, but also to encourage economic incentives to leave tar sands and other dirty fuels in the ground. [...]
But instead of placing a rising fee on carbon emissions to make fossil fuels pay their true costs, leveling the energy playing field, the world's governments are forcing the public to subsidize fossil fuels with hundreds of billions of dollars per year. This encourages a frantic stampede to extract every fossil fuel through mountaintop removal, longwall mining, hydraulic fracturing, tar sands and tar shale extraction, and deep ocean and Arctic drilling.
The Apollonian Pancake looks less than delicious. It's going to throw the syrup ratio right off.