You kids today I don't even.

Tonight I saw a guy in a Misfits t-shirt dancing with glowsticks. I don't think Danzig would have approved, but at least it was a fashion choice.

The thing that always amazes me when I check out younger and/or more mainstream dance parties is how fantastically uniform and horrible the male dress code is. The girls tend to be in your usual timeless slutty-club-wear: a short glittery dress, or maybe a cut-off t-shirt with hotpants and fuzzy leg-warmers. Not the apex of creativity, but at least it looks intentional. Some thought went into it. But the guys all wear exactly the same thing: a mesh basketball wife-beater, a backward baseball cap, and blue jeans. All of them!

I look around at these girls trying to perfect their standing-up lap-dances against their stationary companions and wonder, is this really the aesthetic they are looking for in a man? Do they look over at Mr. Sports Fan and think, slice me off a piece of that? Or do they just think that they can't do any better? I weep for the future.

"Hipsters" may make some comical choices, but at least they're trying.

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Current Music: EMA -- Red Star ♬

22 Responses:

  1. phryk says:

    That backwards-baseball-cap thing is still alive? Last time I saw that was like 1994 or something like that…
    I for one am happy that people over here (mostly) stopped wearing their trousers below their knees.

  2. At least in the UK, getting hold of non-boring men's clothes is hard. Not impossible, but they're a lot more unusual than the feminine equivalent. Witness Desigual - pretty awesome women's stuff (especially the coats), and men's clothes that are only barely distinguishable from Primark rubbish.

    However, I'm not sure there's ever any excuse for a mesh wifebeater.

  3. Don Hopkins says:

    What ever happened to bringing fashionable lunch boxes to clubs? What was in those lunch boxes, anyway?

  4. relaxing says:

    In many cities the cap and jersey would be forbidden, ostensibly as gang wear.

    The price you pay for freedom.

  5. Owen says:

    That's what you get for going to a mainstream party I guess? Uniformity is pretty much the definition of "mainstream". That it's uniformly awful isn't anything new either. The most annoying thing I see is ironic 1890s-style mustaches

  6. Kevin says:

    get off my lawn

  7. akfe says:

    If I were being cynical, I'd say that with the selection pressures involved, the males could only expect to hurt their chances by calling attention to themselves. These young ladies don't want men when they can instead have certainty.

  8. ryanlrussell says:

    This is why we need to bring back the codpiece. I'll talk to some hipsters, see if we can't get that going. Should fit well over the skinny jeans?

  9. Daniel Serodio says:

    Pics or it didn't happen :)
    I think people in mesh wifebeaters should be prevented from entering any night club (or for that matter, anywhere that's not a gym). You can do your part!

  10. Lun Esex says:

    I used to think dress restrictions for nightclubs was bogus ("No trainers or jeans"? Really?), but I'd be totally down for restrictions on ball caps and sports team jerseys/logoed merchandise/etc.