Man misses mouse and shoots roommate, revealing child rapist

"Police said they suspected alcohol was involved."

A Utah man who was trying to kill a mouse ended up shooting one roommate and getting another arrested for child rape, while a fourth roommate slept through the whole thing.

Taylorsville Police Sgt. Tracy Wyant told Deseret News that the first roommate, 27, had been trying to kill a rodent when he missed and the round went through the kitchen wall and struck a second roommate, 28.

Officers responding to the scene early Tuesday morning found a 13-year-old girl hiding in a basement closet. She told police she had been having an affair with the third roommate, 34-year-old Paul Daniel Kunzler. During an interview, the Children's Justice Center determined that the girl had been having sex with Kunzler over a period of four months.

"The Aristocrats!"

Also, I was wondering: "The mouse did survive."

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9 Responses:

  1. Jesper says:

    And he would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for those meddling rodents.

  2. Pavel says:

    Huh, Utah. I would have guessed Florida or Texas.

  3. pinoles says:

    Seriously, where do you find this stuff? Do people just send it to you, or do you just have the most eclectic RSS feed evar?

  4. Aristocrats? Really? I mean, there isn't scat anywhere in this story!

    • jwz says:

      Look, it's a family act, there's an animal, there's violence, and there's child-fucking. It definitely qualifies.

      • Given that, if their mouse problem is sufficient to justify even intoxicated use of firearms, there must be some fair volume of pellets (the shit kind, not the shotgun kind) around, I suppose you're right.

  5. Quick someone get me Tarantino and Steve Buscemi, this is a great movie. :-)

  6. oh, my god, my girlfriend and I are in tears over your punch line.

    Well played, sir.