Self-proclaimed vampire chick eats homeless dude's face in front of Hooter's.

Female "Vampire" Busted In Bloody Biting Attack

A Florida woman who claimed to be a "vampire" last night attacked an elderly man, biting him on the face and arm and tearing away chunks of his skin, according to police.

Josephine Smith, 22, was arrested today and charged with felony aggravated battery on an elderly person. "I'm a vampire, I am going to eat you," Smith announced before allegedly attacking Milton Ellis, according to an arrest affidavit.

Ellis, 69, received stitches to close up wounds suffered during the assault, which occurred in front of a vacant Hooters in St. Petersburg. Cops says Ellis, who uses a motorized wheelchair, was asleep when Smith pounced on him, commenced biting, and announced that she was a vampire.

The bleeding Ellis escaped his attacker's clutches and called 911 from a nearby gas station.

When cops arrived, they located Smith--covered in blood and half naked--near the Hooters, according to a police spokesman. During questioning, she was unable to tell officers what had transpired outside the shuttered restaurant. Nor could she explain what had happened to her pants or why her panties were at her ankles.

According to her Facebook profile, Smith has recently studied "dental assisting" at the Fortis Institute in Pensacola, where she resides.


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13 Responses:

  1. adam jones says:

    guess who's been watching too much Twilight and not enough True Blood

  2. It's hard to say what the best part of this is, but I note that it takes 3 cops a total of 28 man-hours to arrest, investigate, and write the report on a case like this.

    • Thomas Lord says:

      I know! It's almost like we've got a ways to go before becoming a tin dictatorship where due process is fully and completely discredited!

    • pavel_lishin says:

      I was arrested with two friends in Allen, TX once. We were all gangly, geeky looking guys, barely out of high school.

      Five police cars, one ambulance, one fire truck, and a helicopter greeted us. Some places have too much crime for the police to deal with, and some places have too much police to deal with crime.

  3. aczarnowski says:

    Vampires really have been lowering standards. Guy is in a chair, asleep, and he gets away to call 911? Ouch.

    • Chris Davies says:

      To be fair, as hot vampire chicks go, she isn't one. Even with her panties round her ankles, I can see people resisting her charms.

  4. zompist says:

    That's a Masquerade violation. The local vampires will take care of it.

  5. piku says:

    Why do all the crazies have "that" look in police photos?

    Bet you half an Internet she turns up a few years later as a serial killer/cannibal weirdo.

  6. Deliverator says:

    Here is a similar incident not long ago that needs to be added as a previously link. It is really sad how pervasive all the vampire/werewolf garbage has become. Can we please get some new monsters? There is a whole section at my local bookstore devoted to "paranormal romance."

    • jwz says:

      I think you misread the sign -- Borders used to have a section that was "Teen Paranormal Romance".

  7. Adrian Merriott says:

    Because it makes perfect sense for vampires to hang out in the Sunshine state...