Official CDC statement on the coming Zombie Apocalypse

Preparedness 101: Ataxic Neurodegenerative Satiety Deficiency Syndrome

If zombies did start roaming the streets, CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak. CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation. This assistance might include consultation, lab testing and analysis, patient management and care, tracking of contacts, and infection control (including isolation and quarantine). It’s likely that an investigation of this scenario would seek to accomplish several goals: determine the cause of the illness, the source of the infection/virus/toxin, learn how it is transmitted and how readily it is spread, how to break the cycle of transmission and thus prevent further cases, and how patients can best be treated. Not only would scientists be working to identify the cause and cure of the zombie outbreak, but CDC and other federal agencies would send medical teams and first responders to help those in affected areas (I will be volunteering the young nameless disease detectives for the field work).
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Scientists to Nightclub Owners: For Happier Customers, Cover Up Pit Stink With Delicious Fragrances

"Environmental Fragrancing"

Dutch scientists suggest that as smoking bans mean club-goers can now smell all the nasty beer, puke, sweat, and so on in nightclubs, owners may want to spritz their businesses with "carefully selected fragrances [that] can enhance dancing activity, improve the overall perception of the evening, and improve how nightclub goers rate the music as well as their mood," as a press release puts it.

Their scents of choice were peppermint, orange, and seawater, dispersed via fragrance machines into three different clubs popular with students. The researchers observed the levels of dancing on the dance floor and afterwards waylaid 849 club-goers with questionnaires. Did they have a good time? How was the music? How were they feeling?

The researchers found that the scents got people to dance more and upped their mood and attitudes about the clubs compared with scentless trials, and that each of the three smells had the same effect. Nevertheless, they concluded that "environmental fragrancing" might be a real draw for nightclubs, encouraging return visits and greater spending.

"People enjoy rooms that don't smell like rotting beer and sweat. In other news, water is still wet."

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Bionic hand for 'elective amputation' patient

An Austrian man has voluntarily had his hand amputated so he can be fitted with a bionic limb.

The patient, called "Milo", aged 26, lost the use of his right hand in a motorcycle accident a decade ago. After his stump heals in several weeks' time, he will be fitted with a bionic hand which will be controlled by nerve signals in his own arm.

"The operation will change my life. I live 10 years with this hand and it cannot be (made) better. The only way is to cut this down and I get a new arm," Milo told BBC News prior to his surgery at Vienna's General Hospital.

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"So, there you have it. Men have chests and women have breasts and that's why topless women are indecent."

"Indeed, the treatment of the Dossier cover reveals that the social and legislative ban on public breasts rests on a jiggly foundation."

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DNA Lounge: Wherein we win Best of SF!

Hooray, we have again won the SF Weekly Best of San Francisco Reader's Poll:

Best Dance Club: DNA Lounge
Best DJ Party Night: Bootie SF
Best Bartender: Chupa

Thanks to everyone who voted!

Again I wonder how many years in a row we need to win "Best Dance Club" before they throw their Best of SF party here.

Also, it looks like the Battle of the Bands on this past Sunday was our 2,000th event since we re-opened in 2001. That's a lot, huh?