Today on the Apocalypse Show: Supersonic Methane Tsunami.

Which is, I'm sure, already the name of a band.

Methane or CH4 gas is being released in vast quantities in the Gulf waters. Seismic data shows huge pools of methane gas at the location immediately below and around the damaged "Macondo" oil well. [...] With the emerging evidence of fissures, the tacit fear now is this: the methane bubble may rupture the seabed and may then erupt with an explosion within the Gulf of Mexico waters. The bubble is likely to explode upwards propelled by more than 50,000 psi of pressure, bursting through the cracks and fissures of the sea floor, fracturing and rupturing miles of ocean bottom with a single extreme explosion.

First Tsunami with Toxic Cloud

If the toxic gas bubble explodes, it might simultaneously set off a tsunami travelling at a high speed of hundreds of miles per hour. Florida might be most exposed to the fury of a tsunami wave. The entire Gulf coastline would be vulnerable, if the tsunami is manifest. Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama and southern region of Georgia might experience the effects of the tsunami according to some sources.

Second Tsunami via Vaporisation

After several billion barrels of oil and billions of cubic feet of gas have been released, the massive cavity beneath the ocean floor will begin to normalise, allowing freezing water to be forced naturally into the huge cavity where the oil and gas once were. The temperature in that cavity can be extremely hot at around 150 degrees celsius or more. The incoming water will be vaporised and turned into steam, creating an enormous force, which could actually lift the Gulf floor. According to computer models, a second massive tsunami wave might occur.

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The Best Dinosaur

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DNA Lounge: Wherein the web site gets some cosmetic surgery.

I've made some substantial structural changes to the DNA Lounge web site to make it be more usable on iPhones and the like. Please let me know if I've screwed anything up.

Things should look basically the same as before when you look at these pages on a real computer; however, on phones, the fonts should all be of a readable size now, and you shouldn't ever have to pan left and right. Basically you shouldn't ever be seeing a font that is smaller than the font used for the clock in the menubar at the top of the iPhone screen.

(The site's top-level page is an exception to that; it's still kind of a mess. As is the calendar. But the other pages on the site should all be a lot more usable on phones now.)

In addition to bug reports, I'm also open to design suggestions. I'm not completely satisfied with how it looks on phones now, but it's certainly better than before.

One improvement that affects desktops too is that all the photo galleries and flyers will auto-size to fit in your window, if the window is smaller than the image.

And speaking of galleries, there are several new photo galleries since last time: Pestilence, Battle of the Bands, Nachtmahr, Hubba Hubba, and William Control.

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Series of tubes.

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CSS help

Dear Lazyweb, I did some CSS tricks to make the DNA Lounge flyers and photo galleries work better on phones: the images now scale down when the window is less wide than the image, without changing the font size. (Example, example.)

Works for me in the latest Safari, Firefox and Opera on Mac, but I'm told it fucks up the aspect ratio in MSIE 8 (and possibly earlier?)

Someone tell me how to fix that, please.

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Current Music: Client -- Pills ♬

They see me peein'. They hatin'.

Previously, previously, previously, previously.

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The gift that keeps on giving.

BP and the Axis of Evil
BP is accused of destroying the wildlife and coastline of America, but if you look back into history you find that BP did something even worse to America. They gave the world Ayatollah Khomeini.


The Ethanol Trap

The most disgusting aspect of the blowout in the Gulf of Mexico isn't the video images of oil-soaked birds or the incessant blather from pundits about what BP or the Obama administration should be doing to stem the flow of oil. Instead, it's the ugly spectacle of the corn-ethanol scammers doing all they can to capitalize on the disaster so that they can justify an expansion of the longest-running robbery of taxpayers in U.S. history.
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Excellent source of sparkles.

ThinkGeek gets a C&D over Unicorn Meat.

We'd like to publicly apologize to the National Pork Board for the confusion over unicorn and pork -- and for their awkward extended pause on the phone after we had explained our unicorn meat doesn't actually exist. From our press release:

"It was never our intention to cause a national crisis and misguide American citizens regarding the differences between the pig and the unicorn," said Scott Kauffman, President and CEO of Geeknet. "In fact, ThinkGeek's canned unicorn meat is sparkly, a bit red, and not approved by any government entity."

Boing Boing adds:

The legal rationale in these situations is often that you can't let someone so much as whisper your trademark in vain lest it be genericized or otherwise diluted; thereby implying that the threat is empty, and just to demonstrate active defense of the mark should a 'real' case ever arise. But I'm sure someone got paid for writing that 12-page letter.

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I definitely feel that one thing missing from any traffic jam is Internet Shock Porn.

The next frontier in distracted driving is already approaching -- ad-blaring license plates.

The device would mimic a standard license plate when the vehicle is in motion but would switch to digital ads or other messages when it is stopped for more than four seconds, whether in traffic or at a red light.

In emergencies, the plates could be used to broadcast Amber Alerts or traffic information.

Oooh, the Amber Alert card! Well played, sir! Because if we can save just one child, won't it all have been worth it?

Interested advertisers would contract directly with the DMV, thus opening a new revenue stream for the state, Price said.

Jordan said he envisioned the license plates as not just another advertising venue, but as a way to display personalized messages -- broadcasting the driver's allegiance to a sports team or an alma mater, for example.

"The idea is not to turn a motorist's vehicle into a mobile billboard, but rather to create a platform for motorists to show their support for existing good working organizations," he said.

Previously, previously, previously, previously.

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Tarrare

I sure do miss the X Files.

Tarrare was slim and of average height. He was described as having unusually soft fair hair, and an abnormally wide mouth in which his teeth were heavily stained, and on which the lips were almost invisible. When he had not eaten his skin would hang so loosely that he could wrap the fold of skin from his abdomen around his waist, and when full his abdomen would distend "like a huge balloon". The skin of his cheeks was wrinkled and hung loosely, and when stretched out he was able to hold twelve eggs or apples in his mouth. His body was hot to the touch and he sweated heavily and constantly suffered from foul body odour; he was described as "stinking to such a degree that he could not be endured at twenty paces". This smell would get noticeably worse after he had eaten, his eyes and cheeks would become bloodshot, a visible vapour would rise from his body, and he would become lethargic, during which time he would belch noisily and his jaws would make swallowing motions. He suffered from chronic diarrhoea, which was said to be "fetid beyond all conception". Despite his large intake of food he did not appear either to vomit excessively or to gain weight.

A meal had been prepared for 15 labourers near the hospital gates; although generally hospital staff restrained Tarrare in the presence of food, on this occasion Courville allowed him to reach the table undisturbed. Tarrare ate the entire meal of two large meat pies, plates of grease and salt and four gallons of milk, and then immediately fell asleep; [...] On another occasion Tarrare was presented with a live cat. He tore the cat's abdomen open with his teeth and drank its blood, and proceeded to eat the entire cat aside from its bones, before vomiting up its fur and skin. Following this, hospital staff offered Tarrare a variety of other animals including snakes, lizards and puppies, all of which were eaten; he also swallowed an entire eel without chewing, having first crushed its head with his teeth. [...]

Efforts to keep him on any kind of controlled diet failed; he would sneak out of the hospital to scavenge for offal outside butchers' shops and to fight stray dogs for carrion in gutters, alleys and rubbish heaps. He was also caught several times within the hospital drinking from patients undergoing bloodletting, and attempting to eat the bodies in the hospital mortuary. Other doctors believed that Tarrare was mentally ill and pressed for him to be transferred to a lunatic asylum, but Percy was keen to continue his experiments and Tarrare remained in the military hospital.

After some time, a 14-month old child disappeared from the hospital, and Tarrare was immediately suspected. Percy was unable or unwilling to defend him, and the hospital staff chased Tarrare from the hospital, to which he never returned.

Sort of a more tragic version of that other French national treasure, Le Petomane.

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