Supreme Court Upholds Freedom Of Speech In Obscenity-Filled Ruling

Best Onion article in years.
"I'm beginning to wonder if you really understand what 'abridging the freedom of speech' means at all," said Stevens, a 34-year veteran of the court known for his often-nuanced interpretations of the First Amendment. "I'm also wondering whether you and your fat-faced plaintiffs over there need to have some respect for constitutionally protected expression fucked into your empty hick skulls."

"I don't know what kind of bullshit passes for jurisprudence down in the 4th Circuit these days," Thomas wrote. "But those pricks can take their arguments about speech that 'appeals only to prurient interests' and go suck a dog's asshole."

Added Thomas, "Just suck it. Get in there and seriously suck it."

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10 Responses:

    • simmonmt says:

      Is that really that unusual/surprising, though? Judges have kept a pretty tight grip on their courtrooms (and decorum in same) for a very long time. If she was arrested/fined for wearing that shirt walking down the street, that'd be much more notable. Getting punished for annoying the judge in his own courtroom is much more dog-bites-man.

      • pavel_lishin says:

        Sure, but if I'm reading the story right, she was just present in court after giving her friend a ride. I doubt she was swinging the shirt over her head like a dead cat.

        • simmonmt says:

          True, but she's still distracting. There's already enough going on in the courtroom without the audience making it worse.

          I'll grant that he could've just asked her to stand outside the courtroom, rather than holding her in contempt, but perhaps there's more to the story.

  1. t0rque says:

    To which Justice Ginsberg immediately replied, "Yeah, that's what his mom said."

    • dzm6 says:

      I wonder if they could have got Cisco to pay for the new equipment. It certainly looks like their logo.

    • lionsphil says:

      Wow, that's impressively bad even for "artistic" architects.

      I particularly like "this design also includes a CCTV camera being installed to help maintain a safe and secure playing environment", and help make children used to the idea that it's normal to be continually watched over by authority figures.

  2. The last line of that was the best. Sometimes the Onion is fucking amazing.