Raj, Bohemian

Raj, Bohemian
"Is someone paying you to say that stuff?"
She giggled. "Sorry, babe, it just pops out sometimes. I didn't mean to pitch you. I'm supposed only to do it to my girlfriends."
"What?"
"Ignore me. You know how hard it is to keep track of one's placements."
"Placements?"
"Placements. Why are you making that face? You're looking at me like I'm some kind of freak."
"You have a lot of -- placements?"
"Oh, don't get on your high horse. You don't work, either. What do you do for cash? If a girl doesn't want a straight job, she has to monetize her social network."
Tags: ,

4 Responses:

  1. elfs says:

    Sorry to sound like a crotchety old man, but Jim Munroe nailed this line of thought, and did so much more effectively, in Everyone In Silico (2004, No Media Kings press):

    "So-so-so," the kid said, getting out a pack of tokes and sliding in beside him. He sparked up and gave Doug the once-over, pausing at his expansive bald pate. Doug realized that what he'd thought were gaps were teeth tattooed black. "How you doin', guy?"

    "I'm fine." Doug raised his eyes to the kid's, but the kid was already glancing over at his friends, who were talking amongst themselves. Only the little girl was really paying attention. Doug steadily mowed down his pile of fries.

    "You know, guy," the kid said. "These Marlboros are really smooth. It's a perfectly balanced mix between tobacco and marijuana that packs a punch while staying really flavourful."

    "Really," said Doug, happy that the kid was just pitching at him rather than something else. "Marlboros, you say," he said in an interested voice, mopping up the last of the ketchup with the last of his fries.

    "Yes! Why not try one?"

    Doug took one of the tokes from the green and white pack and set it on his tray, "Thanks."

    "Yes, Marlboros. Marlboros are..." the kid was checking his watch.

    Hopeless, Doug thought, out of pitch ten seconds into it and checking his account in front of the mark. "Tasty?" he prompted. "With a high that lasts all day long?"

    "So-so-so, with-a-high-that-lasts-all-day-long," the kid said, more to his watch than to Doug. A second later, "Fuck. Why didn't I get anything for that?"

    Doug got up. "I said it first. You should have also offered me a light."

    The kid went for his pocket.

    "I don't smoke. But you get a few extra bucks for offering a light," he dumped his tray into the garbage, the mat sticking for a second before obeying gravity.

    "Whattaya throwing the toke away for," the kid said bitterly.

    "They're not cool any more," Doug said, walking away, taking his handkerchief out of his pocket and rubbing the grease off his fingers.

    "Whatta fuck you know about cool," the kid muttered. "Bald-ass."

  2. reify says:

    Thanks. I read this when it first came out (dead tree subscription), and found it kind of chilling. Lost it, and hadn't been able to find it in the back issues. Let's see... yep... still kind of chilling.

  3. cnoocy says:

    Reminds me a bit of So Yesterday by Scott Westerfeld.