39 Responses:

1. schmoomom says:

   14 years ago at 3:05 am

   /puts out eyes

2. antabakalj says:

   14 years ago at 3:11 am

   And when the crystals fall off in the following days and fall through the trouser legs onto the very ground that she walks on - people behind her will stare in disbelief.

3. vordark says:

   14 years ago at 3:42 am

   1980 - Does the carpet match the drapes?
   1995 - Is there any carpet?
   2010 - Does the area formerly occupied by the carpet sparkle?

   Given the somewhat recent attention to female genital engineering (vaginoplasty, coloration, etc.) I'm starting to wonder when you'll be able to read mail on these things.

   • elevatordown says:

     14 years ago at 3:52 am

     But will they run Linux?

     • xenogram says:

       14 years ago at 1:29 pm

       Yes, but it will make them smell bad.

       (Recaptcha: "musky to")

   • jwz says:

     14 years ago at 3:58 am

     The ladies really get all the fun. I'm hot-glue-gunning glitter to my nutsack right now in an effort to keep up.

     • cdavies says:

       14 years ago at 5:57 am

       Don't even fucking whisper that thought.

       I don't want to live in a world where rhinestoning your gonads is just something you do. That kind of the stuff needs to stay in its own freakish subculture. Anything else and the next thing you know, the furry'll be lying down with the otherkin. It'll be the fetishpocalypse.

       • i_e_d says:

         14 years ago at 9:21 am

         'Sex Drugs and rock 'n' roll, bad ass Vegas hoes, Late-night booty calls and shiny disco balls'

         Shiny disco balls indeed...
         https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxsYbdihttc

     • rivetpepsquad says:

       14 years ago at 8:51 am

       CHOKING HAZARD!

       • xenogram says:

         14 years ago at 1:25 pm

         Bwahahahahaha, Win!

     • antabakalj says:

       14 years ago at 10:12 am

       Ouch.

       But with your permission I'll keep that image in my head to conjure up if I ever need a flaccid member really fast.

     • xenogram says:

       14 years ago at 1:22 pm

       Now I have the lyrics to "Rhinestone Cowboy" running through my head.

     • bifrosty2k says:

       14 years ago at 12:21 am

       I dare you.

       "Would you like some RHINESTONE ENCRUSTED ARABIAN GOGGLES?"

     • lifftchi says:

       14 years ago at 5:01 pm

       "I knew I was wobbling. My testicles were flushed with heat, and getting heavier. I looked down out of one eye. My testicles were the size of a champion prize-grown onion I'd seen at a market gardening competition as a kid. And expanding. I shut my eye again, tight. It felt like I was smuggling cannonballs in my scrotum."

       --Warren Ellis, Crooked Little Vein, on testicular saline infusion.

     • rodgerd says:

       14 years ago at 12:29 am

       I would have thought you'd be more of a dye-and-mohawk-along-each-nut kind of man.

     • secretsoflife says:

       14 years ago at 8:27 pm

       rule 34!

4. jayp39 says:

   14 years ago at 3:51 am

   That officially broke my brain.

5. gths says:

   14 years ago at 4:24 am

   Should've taken more notice of the warning, dammit.

6. disco_jim says:

   14 years ago at 7:38 am

   I saw this advertised in the uk as a "Las Vegas". I remember there being a "Bollywood" available that had henna tattooing of your choice.

   What drives a woman to decide one day that their nether region was not sparkly enough?

   • kineticfactory says:

     14 years ago at 9:50 am

     What drives a woman to decide one day that their nether region was not sparkly enough?

     Twilight?

     • disco_jim says:

       14 years ago at 5:02 pm

       I think you have just found a way to make twilight porn

       "Bella, I must show you something"

       *Drops trouser*

       "My Penis, it sparkles in Sunlight"

       • basal_surge says:

         14 years ago at 2:11 am

         "And I ejaculate rainbows"

         • rodgerd says:

           14 years ago at 12:31 am

           If I could take a pill that would make my semen a different colour of the rainbow every time I ejaculated, I would totally do that.

7. luserspaz says:

   14 years ago at 8:29 am

   I feel like the world has moved on and left me behind. In 20 years, am I going to have to search for retro porn from the 90s because I can't figure out what's happening in the current crop of porn? "What is that thing? Is that a vagina? What the hell happened to it?"

   • hattifattener says:

     14 years ago at 10:30 am

     And when the Singularity hits, no one will be able to figure out how to have sex with anyone.

     I guess I hadn't really put together the "porn as early technology adopter" notion with the "ever-shortening comprehensibility horizon" notion before.

   • leolo says:

     14 years ago at 10:55 am

     Every so often, but more and more frequently, I'm reminded of the mostly dystopic future envisioned in the Judge Dredd comics from the 70s.

8. purplerabbits says:

   14 years ago at 8:46 am

   Wow. Doing missionary position with that could cause serious gravel rash...

   • ekesobriquet says:

     14 years ago at 11:11 am

     Ow shit yes.

9. korgmeister says:

   14 years ago at 11:21 am

   It's like someone put glitter on top of a Geiger painting.

10. lnghnds says:

    14 years ago at 11:31 am

    This photo is the worst, though. It makes me shudder at the new social plague it portends.

    

    • ammonoid says:

      14 years ago at 12:20 pm

      It just looks like a particularly nasty SDT, like her crotch is sprouting glittery mushrooms or something.

      Despite the evidence I refuse to believe this is a real trend.

      • wisn says:

        14 years ago at 2:32 pm

        Worse. It looks like lotusboob.

        • ammonoid says:

          14 years ago at 2:55 pm

          That was such an unsettling image...I hate the person who thought of that and put it on the internet.

    • jaydubbee says:

      14 years ago at 1:47 pm

      

11. ekesobriquet says:

    14 years ago at 1:18 pm

    Also, this:

    http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=250921093841

12. cacepi says:

    14 years ago at 2:10 pm

    I always thought men who name their johnson were complete morons. But not now.

    Congratulations, vajazzler; you're now the dumbest person on earth.

13. scottreyns says:

    14 years ago at 5:53 pm

    younger readers probably don't know this, granted... but back in the 70s there was no effective treatment for Disco Ball, not even pain killers.

14. nagarerutenshi says:

    14 years ago at 7:50 am

    Two things we will make you...

15. rivetpepsquad says:

    14 years ago at 2:04 pm

    And no discussion of sparklecunts would be complete without CLITTER:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VR4O68kUj5c

    I love how life keeps imitating the parodies.