/puts out eyes
And when the crystals fall off in the following days and fall through the trouser legs onto the very ground that she walks on - people behind her will stare in disbelief.
1980 - Does the carpet match the drapes?1995 - Is there any carpet?2010 - Does the area formerly occupied by the carpet sparkle?
Given the somewhat recent attention to female genital engineering (vaginoplasty, coloration, etc.) I'm starting to wonder when you'll be able to read mail on these things.
But will they run Linux?
Yes, but it will make them smell bad.
(Recaptcha: "musky to")
The ladies really get all the fun. I'm hot-glue-gunning glitter to my nutsack right now in an effort to keep up.
Don't even fucking whisper that thought.
I don't want to live in a world where rhinestoning your gonads is just something you do. That kind of the stuff needs to stay in its own freakish subculture. Anything else and the next thing you know, the furry'll be lying down with the otherkin. It'll be the fetishpocalypse.
'Sex Drugs and rock 'n' roll, bad ass Vegas hoes, Late-night booty calls and shiny disco balls'
Shiny disco balls indeed...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxsYbdihttc
But with your permission I'll keep that image in my head to conjure up if I ever need a flaccid member really fast.
Now I have the lyrics to "Rhinestone Cowboy" running through my head.
I dare you.
"Would you like some RHINESTONE ENCRUSTED ARABIAN GOGGLES?"
"I knew I was wobbling. My testicles were flushed with heat, and getting heavier. I looked down out of one eye. My testicles were the size of a champion prize-grown onion I'd seen at a market gardening competition as a kid. And expanding. I shut my eye again, tight. It felt like I was smuggling cannonballs in my scrotum."
--Warren Ellis, Crooked Little Vein, on testicular saline infusion.
I would have thought you'd be more of a dye-and-mohawk-along-each-nut kind of man.
That officially broke my brain.
Should've taken more notice of the warning, dammit.
I saw this advertised in the uk as a "Las Vegas". I remember there being a "Bollywood" available that had henna tattooing of your choice.
What drives a woman to decide one day that their nether region was not sparkly enough?
I think you have just found a way to make twilight porn
"Bella, I must show you something"
"My Penis, it sparkles in Sunlight"
"And I ejaculate rainbows"
If I could take a pill that would make my semen a different colour of the rainbow every time I ejaculated, I would totally do that.
I feel like the world has moved on and left me behind. In 20 years, am I going to have to search for retro porn from the 90s because I can't figure out what's happening in the current crop of porn? "What is that thing? Is that a vagina? What the hell happened to it?"
And when the Singularity hits, no one will be able to figure out how to have sex with anyone.
I guess I hadn't really put together the "porn as early technology adopter" notion with the "ever-shortening comprehensibility horizon" notion before.
Every so often, but more and more frequently, I'm reminded of the mostly dystopic future envisioned in the Judge Dredd comics from the 70s.
Wow. Doing missionary position with that could cause serious gravel rash...
Ow shit yes.
It's like someone put glitter on top of a Geiger painting.
This photo is the worst, though. It makes me shudder at the new social plague it portends.
It just looks like a particularly nasty SDT, like her crotch is sprouting glittery mushrooms or something.
Despite the evidence I refuse to believe this is a real trend.
Worse. It looks like lotusboob.
That was such an unsettling image...I hate the person who thought of that and put it on the internet.
I always thought men who name their johnson were complete morons. But not now.
Congratulations, vajazzler; you're now the dumbest person on earth.
younger readers probably don't know this, granted... but back in the 70s there was no effective treatment for Disco Ball, not even pain killers.
Two things we will make you...
And no discussion of sparklecunts would be complete without CLITTER:
I love how life keeps imitating the parodies.