Vajazzling.

"Her positive outlook on the status of my crotch
really helped the experience to be relatively pain-free."

WARNING: Watching this will make you stupider:

Previously.

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39 Responses:

  1. schmoomom says:

    /puts out eyes

  2. antabakalj says:

    And when the crystals fall off in the following days and fall through the trouser legs onto the very ground that she walks on - people behind her will stare in disbelief.

  3. vordark says:

    1980 - Does the carpet match the drapes?
    1995 - Is there any carpet?
    2010 - Does the area formerly occupied by the carpet sparkle?

    Given the somewhat recent attention to female genital engineering (vaginoplasty, coloration, etc.) I'm starting to wonder when you'll be able to read mail on these things.

    • elevatordown says:

      But will they run Linux?

    • jwz says:

      The ladies really get all the fun. I'm hot-glue-gunning glitter to my nutsack right now in an effort to keep up.

      • cdavies says:

        Don't even fucking whisper that thought.

        I don't want to live in a world where rhinestoning your gonads is just something you do. That kind of the stuff needs to stay in its own freakish subculture. Anything else and the next thing you know, the furry'll be lying down with the otherkin. It'll be the fetishpocalypse.

      • rivetpepsquad says:

        CHOKING HAZARD!

      • antabakalj says:

        Ouch.

        But with your permission I'll keep that image in my head to conjure up if I ever need a flaccid member really fast.

      • xenogram says:

        Now I have the lyrics to "Rhinestone Cowboy" running through my head.

      • bifrosty2k says:

        I dare you.

        "Would you like some RHINESTONE ENCRUSTED ARABIAN GOGGLES?"

      • lifftchi says:

        "I knew I was wobbling. My testicles were flushed with heat, and getting heavier. I looked down out of one eye. My testicles were the size of a champion prize-grown onion I'd seen at a market gardening competition as a kid. And expanding. I shut my eye again, tight. It felt like I was smuggling cannonballs in my scrotum."

        --Warren Ellis, Crooked Little Vein, on testicular saline infusion.

      • rodgerd says:

        I would have thought you'd be more of a dye-and-mohawk-along-each-nut kind of man.

      • secretsoflife says:

        rule 34!

  4. jayp39 says:

    That officially broke my brain.

  5. gths says:

    Should've taken more notice of the warning, dammit.

  6. disco_jim says:

    I saw this advertised in the uk as a "Las Vegas". I remember there being a "Bollywood" available that had henna tattooing of your choice.

    What drives a woman to decide one day that their nether region was not sparkly enough?

    • kineticfactory says:

      What drives a woman to decide one day that their nether region was not sparkly enough?

      Twilight?

      • disco_jim says:

        I think you have just found a way to make twilight porn

        "Bella, I must show you something"

        *Drops trouser*

        "My Penis, it sparkles in Sunlight"

        • basal_surge says:

          "And I ejaculate rainbows"

          • rodgerd says:

            If I could take a pill that would make my semen a different colour of the rainbow every time I ejaculated, I would totally do that.

  7. luserspaz says:

    I feel like the world has moved on and left me behind. In 20 years, am I going to have to search for retro porn from the 90s because I can't figure out what's happening in the current crop of porn? "What is that thing? Is that a vagina? What the hell happened to it?"

    • hattifattener says:

      And when the Singularity hits, no one will be able to figure out how to have sex with anyone.

      I guess I hadn't really put together the "porn as early technology adopter" notion with the "ever-shortening comprehensibility horizon" notion before.

    • leolo says:

      Every so often, but more and more frequently, I'm reminded of the mostly dystopic future envisioned in the Judge Dredd comics from the 70s.

  8. purplerabbits says:

    Wow. Doing missionary position with that could cause serious gravel rash...

  9. korgmeister says:

    It's like someone put glitter on top of a Geiger painting.

  10. lnghnds says:

    This photo is the worst, though. It makes me shudder at the new social plague it portends.

  11. cacepi says:

    I always thought men who name their johnson were complete morons. But not now.

    Congratulations, vajazzler; you're now the dumbest person on earth.

  12. scottreyns says:

    younger readers probably don't know this, granted... but back in the 70s there was no effective treatment for Disco Ball, not even pain killers.

  13. nagarerutenshi says:

    Two things we will make you...

  14. rivetpepsquad says:

    And no discussion of sparklecunts would be complete without CLITTER:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VR4O68kUj5c

    I love how life keeps imitating the parodies.

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