School Outlaws "Sexual Bending"

I assume this will make it into the ABC's enforcement regime soon.

While dancing back to front, all dancers must remain upright - no sexual bending is allowed. Examples are, no hands on knees, and no hands on the dance floor with your buttocks touching your dance partner. There will be no touching of the breasts, buttocks or genitals. There will be no straddling of each others' legs. Both feet must remain on the dance floor at all times. Students will be given wrist bands at the door. One warning results in a teacher cutting off the wrist band. A student dancing inappropriately with no wrist band will be asked to leave the dance. This may result in loss of dance privileges for the year.

The dance will be videotaped to insure the safety of all students attending.


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43 Responses:

  1. dancing with both feet on the dancefloor at all times.
    I think you can just do the robot.

  2. blaisepascal says:

    Both feet must remain on the dance floor at all times.

    Well, that'll make the videotapes more interesting to watch, at least.

  3. sparklydevil says:

    So the Charleston constitutes sexual bending?

  4. argonel says:

    If they are under 18 and performing "sexual bending" when it is videotaped does it become child pornography? And if it is, are the dancers or the videotapers sex offenders?

  5. litui says:

    Wonder how much of this: would be banned... can't keep the Lindy hop down, jive turkeys!

  6. lafinjack says:

    Kompressor is pleased.

  7. lionsphil says:

    "This may result in loss of dance privileges for the year."

    I'm sorry sir; I'm going to have to confiscate your groove license. You are not, repeat not permitted to strut your funky stuff at any time.

    Oi! No walking in time to the beat, either.

  8. mysterc says:

    I guess if you're caught doing the Lambada they just shoot you on the spot.

    If my son says he was dancing then that's what he was doing-dancing. And if you are arresting kids for dancing then you've got a serious problem cuz there's a lot worse things these kids could be doin- a lot worse. This I know. BEAT STREET

  9. kyronfive says:

    As funny as this is, honestly it's nothing new. We actually got rules exactly like this at my junior high (!) dances. I recall being told that if any of us tried to do the lambada we'd be suspended. Take that Union Grove HS!

  10. wikkit42 says:

    Forget the content, they deserve to be shot for the choice of typeface.

  11. gths says:

    The Methodists are taking over again!

  12. chuck_lw says:

    Would organizing them all to do a gothic night "tree dance" be a proper form of protest?

  13. wisedonkey says:

    The dance will be videotaped to insure the safety of all students attendingmake sure youtube has plenty of idiot kids for years to come.


  14. kou says:

    will be videotaped to insure ensure the safety

    And we wonder why people make fun of public education in America...

  15. roninspoon says:

    I thought Kevin Bacon won this war 30 years ago.

    • biggeek says:

      If our Lord wasn't testing us, how would you account for the proliferation, these days, of this obscene rock and roll music, with its gospel of easy sexuality and relaxed morality?

  16. nzchrisb says:

    "Dance, the vertical expression of a horizontal desire."

  17. outerego says:

    An old teacher of mine once told me how her bored, skint pupils at her school in Edinburgh used to make a few quid by going "bending"--posing as male prostitutes down the railway station toilets and mugging the Johns.

  18. ramses0 says:

    I was born there but moved away before going to any schools. You can buy the DVD for some insight into why the schools might put those sorts of rules in place. It's a creepily interesting DVD, btw.