Fuck DirecTV.

The directv.com web site is, without a doubt, the single most incompetent web site I have had the mispleasure of being forced to use in the last 10 years. (I was going to say 15, but that might not be strictly true. Let's say 12.5.)


Oh wait, you must have ALREADY DONE THAT. There's no other possible explanation for how it could possibly be this bad. Even BANKS do a better job than this. They're not exactly known for being forward thinking and cutting edge.

If there was ever something that more clearly said, "cancel your service and just torrent everything from now on", it is the 30 minutes I just wasted trying to change my service to something that costs a few bucks less a month by leaving out channels that I never watch and never wanted in the first place!

Every time I click a link, it makes me log in again. The first three times it did that, it also tried to make me fill out a pointless "security question", before finally insisting on it on the third try. SPOILER ALERT: for all intents and purposes, my first pet was named "Foo". There, now you all know.

Every time I click "Select" on the "packages" page, it waits FIVE MINUTES before telling me "Sorry, you package could not be changed, call customer service." And before you downgrade your package to one that doesn't include them, it won't even tell you how much per month they charge to add HBO, etc. back. So it's not even clear whether downgrading to omit the 50 to 100 channels that I don't want will save me anything. (That part I assume is by design. Hostile, customer-hating design.)

YOU ARE BUFFOONS! Your industry is dying and it is your own god damned fault.

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