DNA Lounge: Wherein the metal is documented.

Photos of our first event after the end of our suspension, which was also our first live show of 2010, are up now: the sold out Saint Vitus + Saviours + Laudanum + Dusted Angel show.

A packed house with bands on stage was a great way to start the year!

Saint Vitus was also, I think, the 900th band to perform on our stage since my tenure here began in 2001.

Today: Battle of the Bands. Tomorrow: Death Guild.

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Wake up! It's Wasabi O'Clock!

Wasabi smoke alarm raises a stink in Japan
Instead of an ear-piercing wail, the device unleashes the chemical compound allyl isothiocyanate, which gives horseradish, mustard, and wasabi their bite. A red LED on the alarm also starts flashing when smoke is detected.

In tests on sleeping people with normal or no hearing, the device woke nearly all subjects up within two and a half minutes after the stench hit their nostrils. Further tests determined the ideal intensity of airborne wasabi to wake people up but not hurt their eyes in the process.

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Animatronics.

Scene missing! A video that used to be embedded in this post has disappeared. If you know of a copy of this video that is still accessible, please mail me so that I can update the link. (Search)
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DNA Lounge: Wherein you've got to be fucking kidding me.

Ladies and Gentlemen, direct from abc.ca.gov:

ABC Receives Award as "Law Enforcement Agency of the Year"
Neighborhood Market Association also Honors the ABC Director

The California ABC has been named "Law Enforcement Agency of the Year" by the Neighborhood Market Association, a coalition of over 2000 small businesses located in California, Nevada and Arizona. The Association also recognized ABC Director Steve Hardy as the "Law Enforcement Agent of the Year."

The Neighborhood Market Association (NMA) presented the awards to Director Hardy on Friday, January 22, 2010 because of efforts by the ABC staff and Hardy's individual efforts to assist small businesses in California. [...]

The award was given at the NMA banquet at the Town and Country Hotel in Mission Valley (San Diego). A video that included an interview with Director Hardy was shown. This year's banquet theme was "We Are the World: Serving the Communities We Do Business In."

I must say, as a small business owner, I feel "fortunate" and "assisted" by this agency and this director. "Assisted" good and hard.

I guess I'll have to stop referring to them as prohibitionist homophobes and start referring to them as award-winning prohibitionist homophobes.

Their "assistance" has given us the "opportunity" to do some repairs and remodeling during the last 25 days, and we will be re-opening tomorrow night. Perhaps you have heard? Our re-opening will feature the dulcet tones of Saint Vitus, a musical group performing compositions in the genre of "doom metal".

I don't know about you, but I plan on having a tasty beverage or two.

We've still got boxes of these fucking "Save DNA" t-shirts. Buy them so we don't have to throw them away, ok? These things have a shelf-life are soon to be collectors' items!

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Australian censor board demands large-breasted porn-stars

Australia has Certain Demands:
"Australian Classification Board (ACB) is now banning depictions of small-breasted women in adult publications and films. They banned mainstream pornography from showing women with A-cup breasts, apparently on the grounds that they encourage paedophilia, and in spite of the fact this is a normal breast size for many adult women. Presumably small breasted women taking photographs of themselves will now be guilty of creating simulated child pornography, to say nothing of the message this sends to women with modestly sized chests or those who favour them. Australia has also banned pornographic depictions of female ejaculation, a normal orgasmic sexual response in many women, with censors branding it as 'abhorrent.'"
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Fuck DirecTV.

The directv.com web site is, without a doubt, the single most incompetent web site I have had the mispleasure of being forced to use in the last 10 years. (I was going to say 15, but that might not be strictly true. Let's say 12.5.)

Dear DirecTV: FIRE YOUR WEB SITE STAFF.

Oh wait, you must have ALREADY DONE THAT. There's no other possible explanation for how it could possibly be this bad. Even BANKS do a better job than this. They're not exactly known for being forward thinking and cutting edge.

If there was ever something that more clearly said, "cancel your service and just torrent everything from now on", it is the 30 minutes I just wasted trying to change my service to something that costs a few bucks less a month by leaving out channels that I never watch and never wanted in the first place!

Every time I click a link, it makes me log in again. The first three times it did that, it also tried to make me fill out a pointless "security question", before finally insisting on it on the third try. SPOILER ALERT: for all intents and purposes, my first pet was named "Foo". There, now you all know.

Every time I click "Select" on the "packages" page, it waits FIVE MINUTES before telling me "Sorry, you package could not be changed, call customer service." And before you downgrade your package to one that doesn't include them, it won't even tell you how much per month they charge to add HBO, etc. back. So it's not even clear whether downgrading to omit the 50 to 100 channels that I don't want will save me anything. (That part I assume is by design. Hostile, customer-hating design.)

YOU ARE BUFFOONS! Your industry is dying and it is your own god damned fault.

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You're welcome.

It's been a while; time to shed some followers.

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"But at rallies in the night with all the torches burning bright, I feel a stirring in me that I can't neglect..."

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School Outlaws "Sexual Bending"

I assume this will make it into the ABC's enforcement regime soon.

While dancing back to front, all dancers must remain upright - no sexual bending is allowed. Examples are, no hands on knees, and no hands on the dance floor with your buttocks touching your dance partner. There will be no touching of the breasts, buttocks or genitals. There will be no straddling of each others' legs. Both feet must remain on the dance floor at all times. Students will be given wrist bands at the door. One warning results in a teacher cutting off the wrist band. A student dancing inappropriately with no wrist band will be asked to leave the dance. This may result in loss of dance privileges for the year.

The dance will be videotaped to insure the safety of all students attending.

Previously.

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Is it atomic? Yes sir, it's very atomic.

Nike Savvas - Atomic: full of love, full of wonder

Previously.

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