Finally, patents do some good.

Prior Art Engraving:

I have been typing dirty words and body parts into Google Patents for some time now, trying to decide what to order. Please point out to me your favorite patent illustrations. For example... I'm afraid I will be paralyzed by choice like I was when trying to decide which velvet painting to commission...

Tags: , , , ,

15 Responses:

  1. bodenste says:

    7118242: Religious lamp with fluid flow
    7113911: "I am a plant, how can I help you?"
    D533179: Cross USB Drive
    7122000: Method of Using a Water Pipe (aka "water pipe providing sexual stimulation")

    Hat tip to the fine but no longer with us "patently silly" blog

  2. ultranurd says:

    Apropos your milking machine post, Figs. 3-5 from Page 2 of Shock absorber for teat cup liner have some potential for relabeling.

  3. revglenn says:

    6312453 device for cooling an infants brain

  4. jgreely says:

    4135240: the setuid bit
    6872119: edible bikini
    4022196: "penile prosthetic apparatus"
    2131457: bust supporter


  5. violentbloom says:

    You know I have an etching press now... so I can print these on paper. Should you become the owner of one.

    I haven't done engraving or photogravures yet but I'll get to that at some point.

  6. uloixia says:

    My Ultimate Favorites:

    1. [hit "pdf display" and then "Load Full Document" and scroll to the bottom for this one. It's a dog carrier. A "different" dog carrier....

    You can see a cleaner version at in their Bizarre Patent Calendar, March 2004.

    2. 3,216,423 - Apparatus for Facilitating the Birth of a Child by Centrifugal Force. - because spinning just makes that kid slide right on out.

    3. 3,243,948 - Cheese-Filter Cigarette - because cheese just makes EVERYTHING better! Cheese, the gateway drug...

    Other odd ones...

    3,483,572 - Automated Bathing Facility - If the Nazis had this, that whole jew shower thing would have been a lot faster...

    5,638,832 - Programmable Subcutaneous Visible Implant - because deep down you're part robot anyway...

  7. uloixia says:

    Also, just in case it helps or you want a different look, we use this service to do our plaques...

  8. krick says:

    Sexual appliance having a phallic device and a device for mounting the same

    We found this one years ago while searching patents for fun at work. We had a good laugh about how you could attach a C-clamp and/or a dildo to just about anything and they'll grant you a patent. One of my co-workers dubbed it "The Tablefucker", which we still bring up from time to time and laugh about to this day.

    This second patent is a runner up just based on the gruesome title, however the diagram is nowhere near as cool as the patent above. The title sounds like something from a Carcass album.

    Controlled device for removing the anus of slaughtered animals

  9. shandrew says:

    We must never forget: Segway