Sadly enough, the despair.com DIY demotivators don't match their posters very closely. I wasted a lot of time and testing getting the proportions and fonts right on AutoMotivator.Also, AutoMotivator is written in Common Lisp.
May I take this opportunity to say that I was always annoyed by the Jurassic Park films where the tiny little humans would come across a herd of huge grazing dinosaurs, and someone would say "it's OK, they're herbivores, they won't hurt you", and then the cutesy kid would pat one of them on the head, and it would act half-way between a cow and a kitten.
Now when I shout "Hippos people! Hippos!", someone might understand what I'm talking about.
I am Jack's complete lack of inspiration:
--MAVERICK-- Sometimes there's a reason the others don't shoot for impossible goals.
--RISK AND REWARD-- What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Until the day your luck runs out.
--OBJECTIVISM-- The individual is a heroic being, who has no need for the rules of the masses. Only it's best to never actually test that theory.
-- INDIVIDUALITY --
We don't like your kind around here.
+1
/concur
I'll bust out P-Shop and do a proper poster when I get home. Too busy here at work today...
Photoshop isn't strictly necessary. Being from Despair, the results are pretty authentic.
Default settings (link will presumably break at some point soonish).
True; I've apparently seen so many parody ones that I've forgotten the originals' love of block caps and partial underlines. D'oh.
Sweet toy. I don't suppose you have an online tip jar?
Not exactly. If you buy a poster print I get a cut. The price is decent and the quality is great, for suitably large source photos.
Oh, it also helps if you are a famous person and you plug it vigorously on your blog.
Nice. I've seen several meme generators before, but I had no idea that Despair themselves put one up!
I am so going to end up using this once a week now, I just know it.
-Just because you're at the top of a food chain, doesn't mean you'll win.
-Vegetarian: But can still kill you, Carnivore
-Vegetarian != Meal
-Vegetarian != Weak
Vegetarian = Big, fat and stupid? :)
"Just because you're at the top of a food chain, doesn't mean you'll win."
+1!!!
1) Even fat fucks can be dangerous if there's enough of you.
2) Have friends? Don't bother dieting.
BUREAUCRACY
Once the fat fucks have you surrounded, it's all over...
EXCELLENCE
Sometimes it doesn't matter if you're smarter and faster.
Win.
Not sure crocs count as "smarter" - that tiny reptile brain next to a big warm mammal?
ORGIES
Not always that great.
Title: ABC
Subtitle: Lewd and lascivious crocodile behavior will not be tolerated.
Saw this in a newspaper today. Looking at that again, though, I see Aliens. It's not a good vision.
(I particularly like Cracked's piece on hippos.)
Anyway, +1 to INDIVIDUALITY.
Life's a croc.
It' MY handbag, you B**ch!
MEDIOCRITY
You'll be dragged down to our level, whether you like it or not.
Sometimes you eat the hippo, and sometimes, well, he eats you.
How was your day, dear?
I was up to my ass in hippos!
See also:
http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/badastronomy/2009/11/16/hippo-critic/
Alien Reboot: Not what you though it would be.
May I take this opportunity to say that I was always annoyed by the Jurassic Park films where the tiny little humans would come across a herd of huge grazing dinosaurs, and someone would say "it's OK, they're herbivores, they won't hurt you", and then the cutesy kid would pat one of them on the head, and it would act half-way between a cow and a kitten.
Now when I shout "Hippos people! Hippos!", someone might understand what I'm talking about.
I am Jack's complete lack of inspiration:
--MAVERICK--
Sometimes there's a reason the others don't shoot for impossible goals.
--RISK AND REWARD--
What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Until the day your luck runs out.
--OBJECTIVISM--
The individual is a heroic being, who has no need for the rules of the masses. Only it's best to never actually test that theory.
MAVERICK is my winner.
--FUN--
You Will Have None Of It.
--FUN--
We have rules against that.
Oh, and I was just reminded of the fantastic Stephen Colbert/Stone Phillips "Gravitas Off":
"Suddenly, and without warning, it became a real life game of hungry, hungry hippos".
(http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/70230/june-05-2006/stone-phillips at about 5:40)
This is what happens when you don't welcome your new hippo overlords.
Mass: Quantity has a quality all its own.
Heuristics: The best is the enemy of the good.
Paradox: Even outliers have bad days.
Flare: Out, out, brief candle...
Sociopaths: Succumb to plodding diligence.
already did this on my lj.
In keeping with the theme, I submit:
Bureaucracy - Daddy needs a new pair of shoes.
PS how will this help your case?