my computah has a toomah

Mechanical tumor:

Mio I-zawa's "mechanical tumor" is a quivering hunk of fleshy, organic-looking material that expands and contracts depending on the amount of stress your computer is experiencing. Equipped with a series of motors and pneumatic actuators, the mechanical tumor pulsates gently when the CPU load is low. When the CPU load is high, the tumor's air compressor is activated, causing the lump of flesh to inflate.

Other biologically inspired interactive devices by Mio I-zawa include "external heart," a squishy latex heart on wheels that beats and rolls around in sync with the user's pulse... ...and "elastic cell," a system of 46 soft pulsating cells that react to human touch in a complex, lifelike way.

Previously, previously, previously.

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Fuck yeah, bank robbing ninjas.

Now this is how to rob a bank:

Steal a helicopter. Dress like ninjas.

Show you have a sense of humour by placing a bag outside the cops' helicopter hanger with the word BOMB written on it. This will stop the police chasing you in the sky.

Scatter small sharp objects on the roads around the bank you're targeting to slow down approaching police cars.

Rather than targeting a regular bank, choose a facility that stores banknotes for them.

Get schematics of the building.

Plan the raid for the day before people get paid, so there'll be lots of cash kicking around.

Hover the chopper over the bank while your men abseil in.

Have a pilot so good that authorities suspect military experience.

Set off some minor explosions to get to the cash. Chuckle at the cops as they try to get into the fortified building using a battering ram.

Leave all the staff unharmed.

Return to the helicopter and fly into the pre-dawn sky.

Land the chopper in a field.

Disappear into the woods with the loot.

Roll around in your money.

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DNA Lounge: Wherein we take out the trash.

Now that the kiosks are gone, I took a pass through my office and hauled out all the computers that are no longer needed in their absence. There were a lot! I think there must be at least 15 more-or-less complete PCs in the pile, plus at least that many extra power supplies of unknown vintage. Dozens of crystal trackballs, maybe half of which are fully functional. Probably two dozen PS2 keyboards, half of them brand new and in the box. Piles and piles and piles of cables. Video cards. Hubs. All of it dusty.

A lot of this stuff is in working order, but it's almost all more than three years old, which makes it completely obsolete. Some of it might be worth money, but it's certainly not worth my time to sit down and plug it all in and figure out what still works and what doesn't, so I guess we're just going to try and get some computer recycling place to come and haul it all away.

If you want any of this crap, come get it.

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Spain's Goth First Daughters Embarrass, Embarrassed By Dad

"Nice boots."        

Here's Barack and Michelle Obama with Spanish Prime Minister José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero and his family. The State Department uploaded it to Flickr. (What an unlikely sentence!) Whoops -- no one in Spain has ever seen Zapatero's Goth daughters before!

According to Zapatero, Spanish law allows him to prevent the Spanish media from running any photographs of his 16 and 13-year-old daughters Laura and Alba. For their privacy, see. And because maybe it would be considered weird for the PM to have goth daughters, but it totally shouldn't be. It is a natural part of life, becoming a teenaged goth.

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"Oh yeah"?

Kool-Aid Man in Second Life

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87 hours of The Twilight Zone in 10 minutes

All 156 episodes:

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Bikini Coffee Shops? Why I never.

Five Everett bikini baristas charged with prostitution

Investigators saw the women expose their crotches, lick whipped cream off their co-workers' private parts and pose naked for pictures inside the Grab-n-Go Espresso stand at 8015 Broadway. Detectives also witnessed some of the women charging customers to touch their bare breasts and naked buttocks. Touching of that kind, for pay, falls under the city's definition of prostitution. [...]

An Everett detective took a city prosecutor to the stand to witness firsthand the activities of the baristas. During that visit, two women allegedly engaged in a "whipped cream show" in which they sprayed whipped cream on each other and licked it off.

On a second visit, a detective was told he couldn't have a mocha because the stand was out of chocolate. He also was told he couldn't order a small drink because they only served 20-ounce beverages.

The barista told him that for $20, she and the other barista would give him a show. He paid and they bared their breasts and pulled down their undergarments, police reports said. [...]

Meanwhile, the City Council is expected to decide next week whether to change the city's lewd conduct ordinance to include espresso stands. The proposed change, which was part of a regular review of city codes, would not prevent baristas from wearing bikinis, city spokeswoman Kate Reardon said. It also still would be legal for women to wear pasties and sheer undergarments as long as their nipples and areolas are covered.

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Dramatic readings of twits.

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From Beneath You It Squeaks


Also considered going with subject,
"Shub-Squeekurath, The Pink Goat with a Thousand Young":

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Current Music: Chemlab -- Latex ♬