Dear Bitch Ass Tagger

Mission Mission reports:

See, the source of this is ironic, because the douchebag behind the Mission Mission blog is an unrepentant fan of bitch-ass taggers. That last link is especially fine, because in it he claims that Bender's is his "favorite bar", and yet, he seems pleased that they had to spend a couple hundred bucks replacing a window because some shitfuck etched their glass. But, you know, a small bar like Bender's is The Man, and made of money and can't stand in the way of street art, dude, right?

And yet, he calls the tag on Her Majesty's Secret Beekeeper's hand-painted sign "vandalism". Apparently his flexible morality only considers it "vandalism" if someone demonstrates their fine, fine penmanship by scrawling their fancy pirate name over a surface that already had paint on it.

I'll bet he also has a favorite arsonist, and a favorite bicycle thief. But only if they don't steal fixies, because that would be wrong.

Tags: ,

31 Responses:

  1. vordark says:

    I really wish we could use some form of maritime punishment on douches like this. A local "make our town pretty" group raised money to put this really nice gazebo in one of our parks. Within a month it looked like total shit because of all the jolly pirate nicknames carved into the thing. Way to express yourself, if yourself is douchebag.

  2. gths says:

    I would've just put "TOY" and an arrow on the note.

  3. stormgren says:

    But only if they don't steal fixies, because that would be wrong.

    One can only hope they steal more fixies.

  4. pixel_juice says:

    Just out of wondering, what do you think of Banksy?

  5. allanhough says:

    For the record, Mission Mission is written by more than one douchebag. But that's not to say we don't believe in flexible morality. Without flexible morality there would be no art of any kind, good or bad, legal or illegal.

    We do believe all vandals are shitfucks though; it's just that some shitfucks' shit is nicer to look at than others'.

    P.S. None of us ride fixies.

  6. dasht says:

    Stick it to the stick-it-to-the-man man, man.

  7. baconmonkey says:

    http://www.calgarysun.com/news/columnists/michael_platt/2009/08/27/10630646-sun.html

    There's no sign of the word "fiasco" among the gallons of garish paint, though every other conceivable F-Word from the young-adult vocabulary can clearly be seen.

    [...]
    If it was just vandalism, it'd be despicable. But the vandalism at Calgary's skateboard park was all but endorsed by the city, which supplied the paint, but not the supervision.

    Over the course of two days, a pack of paint-wielding hooligans attacked the blank canvas that was the spiral Landmark building at Millennium Park, turning it into a masterpiece of mayhem and myopia. What started as art ended up as a hideous eyesore.

    If it's a testament to the sheer tenacity of the vandals with the cans of spray paint, it's a monument to the blind stupidity of the grown-ups who left "young urban artists" alone to decorate a public park.
    [...]

  8. mysterc says:

    The best thing sean "puffy/pdiddy" combs ever did was coin the phrase "no bitchassedness"

  9. taniwha_nz says:

    why did the glass need replacing? some artistic scratching doesn't seem like a reason, unless it sucked.

    • lafinjack says:

      I got the impression that it was the type of spraypaint/spraygoop that's acidic and eats into glass and other surfaces, not just someone keying the glass.

      • jwz says:

        I think you missed the point: the jackass you are replying to seems to be asking, "if someone tagged your window, why would you bother trying to remove that tag?"

    • dasht says:

      If the art didn't suck (in appearance and/or damage to the use value of the property) then why did it have to be done secretly and without permission?

    • bifrosty2k says:

      The city comes down on businesses pretty hard when it comes to vandalism - they make you pay + make you fix it ASAP. And its most likely cheaper to replace the glass than "fix" it.

      If you're going to artistically scratch something, please make it your eyes.

      • dr_pipe says:

        The city doesn't allow businesses to allow graffiti to remain on their walls, even if they want it to?

        One of my favorite places in Austin used to be Mojos, before it disappeared, because it was covered with cool graffiti - not tags, but well done pictures. That changed regularly, because the artists were constantly adding new stuff. It was cool. But that's because the owners were cool with it, and the artists weren't retarded.

        Pretty lame if city regulations prevent something like that from even being possible.

        • bifrosty2k says:

          No, because Graffiti is not art, its blight.
          If it were mural art, you'd need to get a permit from the city.

            • bifrosty2k says:

              Yeah, graffiti is pretty shitty.
              Its hella annoying when you have to clean it up off your cars, house, windows, planter boxes/etc. Its always amazing to find out that the folks who graffiti are often giant pieces of shit in real life! Who knew?

              • dr_pipe says:

                Sure, unwanted graffiti can be shitty.

                But what I'm saying is lame is city ordinances that don't allow building owners a choice in whether they wish to allow graffiti or not. There are artists who would be happy to create murals for free, and keep them changing continuously with new art, on any business that opens its walls. But if a place has to apply for a permit to have a mural, the cost would most likely be prohibitive to many businesses for even a single instance, and certainly for an ongoing piece that changes week by week. The permit requirement stifles potential consensual coolness.

                • bifrosty2k says:

                  There are artists who would be happy to create murals for free, and keep them changing continuously with new art, on any business that opens its walls

                  If you want to create a mural, thats one thing - there's an over the counter permit process, easy enough. Like I said, graffiti is a blight on society, we're not talking about art here...

                  The permit requirement stifles potential consensual coolness.

                  It also prevents "the man" from making you take it down. It also keeps the cops from showing up when you've got some dood painting the side of your house/business/whatever.

                  Do I like permits? No. Do I like Art? Yes.
                  Ultimately a permit is the easiest way to mitigate the bad things, even though I do not enjoy bureaucracy.

        • gadlen says:

          The owner of the old police station on Valencia between 23rd and 24th has a standing invitation for anyone to write on his wall. After he consulted the city about it, they were cool with it. Permission = Art. No permission = Crime.

  10. chromal says:

    You know, I was all ready to defend tag art and explain the difference between murals and scrawled gang names. But. I see that you're right, he's placed a few non-mural vandalism tags up on a pedestal. Let him drink his own kool-aid, I say, and karma's a bitch, isn't it?

  11. leahculver says:

    I was once a graffiti artist. I doodled my own name over and over. However, I was 15 years old and my canvas was a notebook cover.

    I don't get how anyone considers drawing that stupid frog on private property art. Yeah, maybe art for 15-year olds.

  12. cameo says:

    it's 'art' when it's on your stuff.
    it's vandalism when it's on my stuff because I'm a pretty princess.

    I think it's time you start somasoma.