The Bureau of Communication

14 years ago

Previously.

Tags: pranks

Current Music: Ellen Allien & Apparat -- Leave Me Alone ♬

7 Responses:

1. hasimir says:

   14 years ago at 4:40 am

   That's great ... especially the lack of identifying IP addresses in the emails it sends.

2. mc_kingfish says:

   14 years ago at 10:59 am

   So would that be a "Mad"-lib?

3. faceted_jacinth says:

   14 years ago at 1:43 pm

   Isn't it ironic that it is not really an apology?

   • caroline_blind says:

     14 years ago at 4:15 pm

     I need those for the residential houses I work in!

4. revglenn says:

   14 years ago at 5:53 pm

   thanks for posting this. i actually used it today.

5. kencf0618 says:

   14 years ago at 8:28 am

   I could use this at work...!

6. grok_mctanys says:

   14 years ago at 6:40 am

   Heh. Inspired by that and the spam solutions form response, here's a plain text version:

   From [...offender name................]

   Sincerity:
   ( ) Heartfelt
   ( )
   ( ) Begrudging
   ( )
   ( ) Technical

   Dear [...offendee name................],

   It has come to my attention that my action of
   [...action requiring apology..................................................]
   could be seen as
   [ ] offensive.
   [ ] annoying.
   [ ] selfish.
   [ ] hurtful.

   I never intended to
   [...consequence of action.....................................................]

   I want you to understand that I was merely trying to
   [...intention.................................................................]

   [ ] It is a habit.
   [ ] I am naturally selfish.
   [ ] I thought it would be funny.
   [ ] I didn't know it bothered you.
   [ ] You were never supposed to know.
   [ ] I was hungry.
   [ ] I was lonely.
   [ ] I was intoxicated.
   [ ] It was my evil twin.

   I can see now that it may appear that I was
   [...perceived motive..........................................................]

   I feel
   [ ] terrible.
   [ ] guilty.
   [ ] stupid.
   [ ] sorry.
   [ ] blameless.
   [ ] vindicated.
   [ ] better now.

   Please accept my [...adjective...] apology. Moving forward, I will attempt to
   [...proposed solution.........................................................]

   Please
   [ ] forgive me.
   [ ] be patient with me.
   [ ] give me another chance.
   [ ] forget it ever happened.
   [ ] do not try to get even.
   [ ] do not call the police.
   [ ] do not tell my parents.

   That said, I would very much appreciate it if you
   [...request for offendee......................................................]

   [...additional notes..........................................................]
   [.............................................................................]
   [.............................................................................]

   Sincerely,
Your [...relationship to offendee...],
[...offender name...].