Olestra 2: The Shittening

"You're probably curious about what alli™ does in your body."

The active ingredient in alli attaches to some of the natural enzymes in the digestive system, preventing them from breaking down about a quarter of the fat you eat. Undigested fat cannot be absorbed and passes through the body naturally. The excess fat is not harmful. In fact, you may recognize it in the toilet as something that looks like the oil on top of a pizza.

So let me get this straight: instead of eating 25% less fat, you can instead eat the same, in exchange for uncontrolled bouts of pissing motor oil from your anus?

Yup. Pretty much:

The fat passes out of your body, so you may have bowel changes, known as "treatment effects". You may get:

  • gas with oily spotting
  • loose stools
  • more frequent stools that may be hard to control

While no one likes experiencing treatment effects, they might help you think twice about eating questionable fat content. If you think of it like that, alli can act like a security guard for your late-night cravings.

You may feel an urgent need to go to the bathroom. Until you have a sense of any treatment effects, it's probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work.

Previously, previously.


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