How an Intern Stole NASA's Moon Rocks

"Now I'm not saying I believe in stealing moon rocks or that shit. Don't get me wrong." "Yeah, we respect moon rocks and all." "But if I was gonna be a moon rock thief... I'd be Mickey and Mallory."

Building 31 North is one of the few buildings on earth constructed under Class 100 standards -- it is a structure that can withstand 1000 years of water submersion, among other durability metrics that should not be tested this side of Armageddon. [...]

In the bathroom, when Thad and Tiffany put on their wetsuits, they also stopped to check their breathing apparatus. The moon rocks were in a chamber devoid of oxygen in order to keep the rocks from rotting by oxidation. They would have 15 minutes of air supplied from their tanks once they entered the nitrogen-filled chamber, past the airlock. [...]

Thad and Tiffany had only 3 minutes to crack the safe, or they wouldn't have enough air to get back outside. As the seconds crept onward, Thad continued to struggle with the code, so he quickly moved to plan B, which involved unbolting the heavy safe from the ground, loading it on to a small dolly and carting it back out to the car. [...]

The samples they took were from every Apollo mission, ever. Sometime between the heist and its resolution, Tiffany and Thad arranged the moon rocks on a bed -- and had sex amongst them.

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