Donate! Everybody donate!
I had the same OMG DNA CLOSING WTFBBQ reaction at first. But then I settled down and re-read the whole thing. Anyway, I've never been to your club before but I sent a fiver in hopes that I can come there sometime soon.
I work in a law office, so I understand the law speak and process of things of this nature.
I work in an office where we try to create products that people find useful, so I sometimes don't understand the purpose of proclamations by people who work in law offices.