text messages I sent from court yesterday:

  • I have already lost count of the number of times I have heard the word "buttocks".
  • We are now discussing the definition of the cleft of the buttocks.
  • It's like kafka. Kafka buttocks.
  • The phrase "drop trou" has now entered the official record dozens of times.
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29 Responses:

  1. zoratu says:

    you could go back, just for the entertainment.

  2. liveavatar says:

    Kafka Buttocks: a great name for a band. A bad band.

  3. drakkenfyre says:

    He he, we aren't allowed to send text messages in court here. You can't even have your cell phone on, lest you record the proceedings. Heh. Now I know why.

  4. mc_kingfish says:

    Long ago I named the triangle above/between the cleft the "Butt Filet."

    Pull that term out in court and see what they think!

    I bet they'll love it.

    Use a pointer.

    (That's what she said... )

  5. You leave out my GIANT BUG ASS reply! *sob*

    These were pretty classic.

  6. muftak says:

    people have been sent to prison for using their phone in court... http://www.theregister.co.uk/2004/11/29/camera_phone_court/

    • hexapod says:

      Citing a UK case seems--well--pointless. Try harder!

    • cetan says:

      Yeah but it is routine in the UK these days for jailing people that are caught

      1) breathing

      2) walking

      3) not being a member of parliament

    • remonstrare says:

      I too am a UK citizen and find extreme lack of reporting restrictions in the USA quite bewildering. How is justice meant to be served without prejudice, if people are broadcasting the play-by-play summmaries to the outside world?

      In the UK, taking an outdoors photo which includes the environs of the courthouse is potentially a contempt of court.

  7. gwynjudd says:

    I find it strange that noone has mentioned Incontinentia Buttocks yet

  8. cfs_calif says:


  9. azul_ros says:

    That sounds asinine! lol! Seriously.

  10. icis_machine says:

    based on what i read here and in the court documents, i am dying to know exactly how badly she cut herself such that she missed work and needs a court remedy that is taking this long.

    plus this seems to seal the fate of any further wreastling event.

    • jwz says:

      A fair guess, but you guessed the wrong one of the three legal actions currently shitting on my head.

  11. genter says:

    For those interested:


    Plaintiff waas invited to participate in a chocolate wrestling event, organized, sponsored and supervised by defendants. Plaintiff was injured when defendents failed to make the wrestling area safe for participants, including, but not limited to, insyring that the wrestling media (chocolated) was free from sharp objects. Plaintiff was injured by the metal lid of a chocolate syrup containeer hidden in the chocolate syrup.

    • jwz says:

      Alas, you also guessed wrong.

      • jakenelson says:

        Y'know, you'd think people would realize all that [REDACTED] talk is for a reason...

        (Admittedly, I say this while looking at PDFs of legal actions... morbid curiousity is a weakness of mine. You meet such charming individuals, don't you?)

  12. pikuorguk says:

    Shortly followed by

    "Have to go, they're all looking at me"

  13. ghosthacked says:

    what, did the time machine put you in the anita hill hearings?

  14. fantasygoat says:

    I hope we get to hear about these cases soon. The suspense is killing me!

  15. rjpower says:

    Not to laugh at your expense, but I was inspired to actually look up the case in the Superior Court log... only one of the actions is there, but seriously getting _____ while ____ ____ is actionable? Amazing.

    If I ever open a club I think it will have to be in a less litigious country.

    • The wheels of justice, they keep on grindin'. With exactness, we can hope.

      (Personally I'm impressed by the ever-ramifying groups of "does" and "roes". What's the difference between a "doe" and a "roe" anyway?)