Paper Street Oil Company

Good gas mileage my ass

For a time, Beverly Hills doctor Craig Alan Bittner turned the fat he removed from patients into biodiesel that fueled his Ford SUV and his girlfriend's Lincoln Navigator.

Using fat to fuel cars might be environmentally friendly, but it's definitely illegal in California to use human medical waste to power vehicles, and Bittner is being investigated by the state's public health department.


17 Responses:

  1. jwz says:

    "These dogs, I tell you, they are so smart, but they worry me sometimes. For instance, I'm plucking this pale yellow cottage cheesy guck from their snouts, rather like cheese atop a microwaved pizza, and I have this horrible feeling, for I suspect these dogs have been rummaging through the dumpsters out behind the cosmetic surgery center again, and their snouts are accessorized with, dare I say, yuppie liposuction fat. How they manage to break into the California state regulation coyote-proof red plastic flesh disposal bags is beyond me. I guess the doctors are being naughty or lazy. Or both. This world. I tell you."

  2. squirrelonlj says:

    (insert Fight Club joke here)

  3. dr_memory says:

    I smell a Joey Skaggs (or wannabe) hoax, honestly.

    • lionsphil says:

      Yeah. I mean, an all-in-one solution to America's obesity and vehicle power problems? You wouldn't just sit on that and practice it illegally. You'd patent the sucker.

      Then dangle an exclusive license in front of Exxon or whoever for a few tasty billion, so that they can sit on it, but you can be rich.

  4. xinit says:

    I think that's brilliant; squeezing them both for plastic surgery AND for... rich people squeezins...

  5. ammitbeast says:

    I think I speak for a lot of people when I say, "Eeeuuuw."

  6. stiobhan says:

    " Good gas mileage my ass"

    Wahahaha. Ew.

  7. Brings a whole new meaning to the phrase "drilling for oil" I think.

  8. nathanrsfba says:

    Soylent Gas is People!

  9. violentbloom says:

    the biodisel engines smell kind of like french fries... Wonder what this smelled like? Pork?

  10. perligata says:

    Are french fries fried in human fat environmentally unfriendly?

    • mysterc says:

      Not if the fat comes from a vegetarian.

      And if they come from Rush Limbaugh's fat they would be "Freedom Fries."

  11. mysterc says:

    The Flintstones had human powered cars too!

  12. remaker says:

    Using anything to power your vehicle other than that which is purchased through a tax-collecting fuel dealer is also illegal, unless you pay the appropriate road tax. The WVO/SVO crowd have had this hassle for a while, but I don't know how the medical-waste fuel fits in here. Regardless of whether the fuel is legal or not, the taxman wants his cut.

  13. greatevil says:

    You knew their cars by the "Kill Richard Simmons" bumper stickers.

  14. cetan says:

    Next they'll be harvesting oil from teenagers faces!

    Oh wait...someone already thought of that.