all kinds of movie hate.

Today's "Bottom of Barrel Dangerously Overscraped" update:

Also: Dear anyone who thinks that "REBOOT" is the cool new synonym for "REMAKE" -- free cock punches for you.

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31 Responses:

  1. poitoi says:

    REALLY..! they are remaking they live??

    that's the weakest news this week.... i wonder how much of the social commentary they are gonna cut out and replace with pro-state alien fight scenes, all CGI of course.

    :(

  2. dali_drama says:

    i'm sure ving rhames is already staying up all hours of the night working on the most powerful and thought provoking way to refuse putting on sunglasses.

    "'i said NAW MUTHA FUCKA!' no, no, 'i SAID no, DUDE!' shit..."

  3. The movie is known for a fight scene that lasts 5 1/2 minutes and for the line, "I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass ... and I'm all out of bubblegum."

    Does that phrasing imply that the bubblegum line is in the fight scene?

  4. They Live remake

    [sits bolt upright as if from waking up from a nightmare]

    NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

    Aw shit, it's REAL.

  5. korgmeister says:

    In all fairness, the leads from the Twilight haven't really bothered to disguise their contempt for either the subject matter or the fanbase.

    So yeah, let's not be too hard for them for working on such a tawdry but generously paying gig.

  6. fantasygoat says:

    I thought "reboot" meant when the remake or sequel sucked so bad everyone wants to forget it ever existed - ie. Batman Begins.

    • fo0bar says:

      Yeah, "remake" assumes that you can take the new movie and drop it into the original series' storyline without affecting anything. "reboot" is essentially a giant retcon.

    • editer says:

      It also seems to imply sequels to the new version. A remake of a one-off such as They Live wouldn't qualify, but Batman Begins surely does.

  7. the planet of the apes originals are not all created equal. "escape" was completely and utterly horrific and should be wiped from the face of the planet- "beneath" is probably the best and incorporates elements of the book.

    i liked the other two, but probably mostly just because i was so in to the mythos.

    i've been wanting to acquire the TV series and cartoon for a while, although the chances that they're not terrible are admittedly slim.

  8. substitute says:

    The Repo Man sequel gets an advance three word review from me: "this never existed!"

    Alex Cox, what a mess.

    • strspn says:

      I refuse to believe that he's really going to make Waldo's Hawaiian Holiday. I think what we'll see is plot elements from the comic book interspersed with plot elements pulled out of his ass.

  9. giles says:

    Anyone else picturing jwz sitting behind a little lemonade stand, his chin resting in his hands, with a hand-lettered sign reading "free cock punches" hanging over his head?

  10. defenestr8r says:

    Chick from Twilight to play Joan Jett.

    no no no no NO NO NO NO NO!

    she's not even hot!

  11. bloodrage says:

    Actually the most deserving of cock punching is the line"

    'Strike is also working on a remake of Carpenter's "The Thing."'

    Remaking a barely-tolerable remake of a classic crap movie based on an almost unknown pulp era novella.

    • lovingboth says:

      The Thing was a lot better than "barely tolerable". It was vastly more interesting than that year's most successful 'alien visits Earth' film, for example.

      The worst bit of that article is being reminded of the dire Village of the Damned remake.

  12. luserspaz says:

    They're rebooting movies you liked into Linux, where the director will force you to recompile your kernel for 2 hours.

    • lionsphil says:

      I wish dicking around with kernel compile options was worst modern Linux had to offer. jwz has probably extended his life by several years by giving up on Linux audio before PulseAudio came along.

      Honestly, I'll take the invasion of body-snatching, brain-eating, alien zombie vampires any day. Just let them eat/infest/drain the likes of Lennart Poettering first.