Active Markovian gate spotted on Saturn.

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Eater Map: Your Guide to San Francisco's Douchiest Bars

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MAKE YOUR TIME.

"Mac version coming soon!"

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Goodbye, Yeasty Spaceman

"Katz Bagels UFO no more." I never actually ate there, but I always got a kick out of the bagel UFO. Apparently it's not coming back "and they couldn't understand why i cared". What's next, that that place with the giant tomato?

This comment caused me to consult the flowchart:

Presumably the burger is going to get installed on the back of a flatbed that some Burner is going to drive around town at every god-damned opportunity while Scott Beale takes pictures?
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up next: fifty-sixth trimester abortions!

Not an Onion article, nor from the Nebraska Department of Tourism:
Nebraska officials said they're concerned about an apparent rush by parents to drop their teenage children off at hospitals before lawmakers change the state's troubled "safe haven" law.

"Please don't bring your teenager to Nebraska," Gov. Dave Heineman told CNN. "Think of what you are saying. You are saying you no longer support them. You no longer love them."

Nebraska's safe haven law was intended to allow parents to hand over an infant anonymously to a hospital without being prosecuted. Of the 34 children who have been dropped off at hospitals, officials said not one has been an infant. All but six have been older than 10, according to a Nebraska Department of Health and Human Services analysis.

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